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Is Your Body Image Ruining Your Relationships?

Click here to read more about "Revolutionary Sex" by Alex AllmanLet me give you a warning in advance about the material in this article, I am NOT responsible if your neighbors complain about the noise you'll be making with her.

Article based on "Revolutionary Sex" ebook

The simple fact is, the sex is the big distinction between the word "friendship" and the word "relationship".

You often hear relationship counselors say that when the sex isn't working, it's a strong sign that the relationship might be in trouble... but I think that often, they are getting that in reverse... the reason that many relationships fail, is because the sex wasn't working.

A big portion of my audience are married or in serious relationships, and when one of the partners is feeling disappointed with the sexual aspect of the relationship, the words "break up," "divorce," and "cheat" always come up in the conversation.

If you've been dating and feel like you've met a lot of great people, but haven't found the "magic chemistry", may I humbly suggest that some aspect of sexuality might have something to do with it?

These things are complex, and the root of any individual couple's problem may be something completely unique...

But there is one particular issue that I'm going to speak to in this article because it seems to be one of the biggest issues that virtually every couple who don't find strong intimacy in the bedroom seem to grapple with.

In fact, it's a massive problem that can create issues on every level... from the ability to flirt, to the vibe on the first date, to couples who are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

It is female negative body image... and whether you are a woman or a man, it is probably affecting your life.

(By the way, there is a flip-side to this coin that is just as damaging to relationships-- which is male issues with sexual confidence-- but that's something I've talked about in other articles).

If you are a woman and your negative body image is making it "too embarrassing to discuss" your sexual needs and issues with your sex partner (or partners), then, chances are, it's not going to go well with whoever you are dating-- and it's going to be the same in your NEXT relationship as well.

Most women in our society have negative body images, and to some extent, who can blame them?

Women (and men) are bombarded with images of the top .01% of the most beautiful women in the world CONSTANTLY, because big-business has discovered the cash value in showing these women off to sell stuff and entertain us.

A hundred years ago a man might encounter a women of such beauty perhaps twice in his lifetime.

But now, thanks to the population of cities and the incredible power of the photograph, the video, the MEDIA, we see them MANY TIMES EVERY DAY...

And frequently we see them naked or nearly naked.

It's a tough act for normal women to follow...

But it gets WORSE.

Because these images aren't even real women!

They are digitally enhanced and perfected far past anything that could possibly be real. Every imperfection is zapped away and smoothed over, and even the color of their eyes is enhanced to blazing brightness.

And if you're a woman, you look in the mirror, and you see that you can't possibly compare with these images, and it's pretty easy to not like what you see...

And then you feel awkward in bed. You feel like you don't look good enough, feel good enough, smell good enough.

Yet, the man on a second date with you, IS attracted to you... or he'd be hanging out with the boys.

He thinks you are beautiful, or perhaps, better still, he sees your INNER beauty.

But you can ruin that with YOUR INABILITY TO LOVE YOURSELF.

So, to be clear, this is something that you MUST get over in order to live a happy life -- either with the man you are with, or any other.

This is something you MUST do for yourself, and the sooner you get started the better.

Here are some things you should consider doing:
1) Get yourself into therapy with a psychologist who SPECIALIZES IN THESE ISSUES

2) Work with an hypno-therapist or NLP practitioner to build your self-esteem (as a good friend of mine who is a hypno-therapist once said, "hypnosis is very effective... especially for highly intelligent people)

3) Yoga. You will learn much about non-judgment and self-acceptance from this ancient practice, while at the same time building a real relationship with your body beyond its mere appearance

4) Do some "self-help" by reading up on women's body image issues and books that help you become more fit and more spiritually connected with your body. (I recommend you check out my friend Andrea's book on the subject at:

In fact, you should probably do ALL of them.

And please, talk to your man. Tell him that you have these body image problems but that you want to try to fix it. You have nothing to lose...

If you are a man and you feel like this is one of the issues causing problems in your relationship, then talk to your woman.

If you do nothing, then you must understand -- your relationships are dying from it, and you are allowing it to happen.

Talk to each other.

Do it now, before it's too late. And if it is already too late, then at least you tried, and you will have learned powerful lessons that will help you find happiness in your next relationship.

And if you are a man or a couple reading this, and you want more (much more) information on improving your intimacy and love-making, sign up for my free e-Newsletter at:

I'm looking forward to sharing more great tips with you in my next article.

Your Friend,
AlexClick here to read more about "Revolutionary Sex" by Alex Allman

P.S., It's important that you understand this stuff first. But obviously, it's part of a much bigger picture. When you are ready to take the next step and become a master of her sexual pleasure, you'll need to download my eBook, Revolutionary Sex

If you haven't signed up for my free newsletter yet, you can do that HERE:




(c) 2007-2009 Alex Allman, New You Advice Inc, Robert Lee and Cheerful Attitude Web Design Ltd., All Rights Reserved. By accepting and reading this article you agree that: You understand this to be an opinion and not professional advice, it is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes, you are solely responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold all authors and publishers harmless.
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