|
Revolutionary Sex
|
When
I hear people say, "a good relationship
isn't about the sex," I just have to shake my
head.
Article
inspired by the "Revolutionary Sex"
ebook
The simple
fact is, the sex is the big distinction between the word "friendship" and
the word "relationship".
You often hear relationship counselors say that when the sex isn't working,
it's a strong sign that the relationship might be in trouble... but I think
that often, they are getting that in reverse... the reason that many
relationships fail, is because the sex wasn't working.
A big portion of my audience are married or in serious relationships, and
when one of the partners is feeling disappointed with the sexual aspect of
the relationship, the words "break up," "divorce," and "cheat" always come
up in the conversation.
 If
you've been dating and feel like you've met a lot of great people, but
haven't found the "magic chemistry", may I humbly suggest that some aspect
of sexuality might have something to do with it?
These things are complex, and the root of any individual couple's problem
may be something completely unique...
But there is one particular issue that I'm going to speak to in this article
because it seems to be one of the biggest issues that virtually every couple
who don't find strong intimacy in the bedroom seem to grapple with.
In fact, it's a massive problem that can create issues on every level...
from the ability to flirt, to the vibe on the first date, to couples who are
celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
It is female negative body image... and whether you are a woman or a man, it
is probably affecting your life.
(By the way, there is a flip-side to this coin that is just as damaging to
relationships-- which is male issues with sexual confidence-- but that's
something I've talked about in other articles).
If you are a woman and your negative body image is making it "too
embarrassing to discuss" your sexual needs and issues with your sex partner
(or partners), then, chances are, it's not going to go well with whoever you
are dating-- and it's going to be the same in your NEXT relationship as
well.
Most women in our society have negative body images, and to some extent, who
can blame them?
Women (and men) are bombarded with images of the top .01% of the most
beautiful women in the world CONSTANTLY, because big-business has discovered
the cash value in showing these women off to sell stuff and entertain us.
A hundred years ago a man might encounter a women of such beauty perhaps
twice in his lifetime.
But now, thanks to the population of cities and the incredible power of the
photograph, the video, the MEDIA, we see them MANY TIMES EVERY DAY...
And frequently we see them naked or nearly naked.
It's a tough act for normal women to follow...
But it gets WORSE.
Because these images aren't even real women!
They are digitally enhanced and perfected far past anything that could
possibly be real. Every imperfection is zapped away and smoothed over, and
even the color of their eyes is enhanced to blazing brightness.
And if you're a woman, you look in the mirror, and you see that you can't
possibly compare with these images, and it's pretty easy to not like what
you see...
And then you feel awkward in bed. You feel like you don't look good enough,
feel good enough, smell good enough.
Yet, the man on a second date with you, IS attracted to you... or he'd be
hanging out with the boys.
He thinks you are beautiful, or perhaps, better still, he sees your INNER
beauty.
But you can ruin that with YOUR INABILITY TO LOVE YOURSELF.
So, to be clear, this is something that you MUST get over in order to live a
happy life -- either with the man you are with, or any other.
This is something you MUST do for yourself, and the sooner you get started
the better.
Here are some things you should consider doing:
1) Get yourself into therapy with a psychologist who SPECIALIZES IN THESE
ISSUES
2) Work with an hypno-therapist or NLP practitioner to build your
self-esteem (as a good friend of mine who is a hypno-therapist once said,
"hypnosis is very effective... especially for highly intelligent people)
3) Yoga. You will learn much about non-judgment and self-acceptance from
this ancient practice, while at the same time building a real relationship
with your body beyond its mere appearance
4) Do some "self-help" by reading up on women's body image issues and books
that help you become more fit and more spiritually connected with your body.
(I recommend you check out my friend Andrea's book on the subject at:
www.amazingbodynow.com)
In fact, you should probably do ALL of them.
And please, talk to your man. Tell him that you have these body image
problems but that you want to try to fix it. You have nothing to lose...
If you are a man and you feel like this is one of the issues causing
problems in your relationship, then talk to your woman.
If you do nothing, then you must understand -- your relationships are dying
from it, and you are allowing it to happen.
Talk to each other.
Do it now, before it's too late. And if it is already too late, then at
least you tried, and you will have learned powerful lessons that will help
you find happiness in your next relationship.
And if you are a man or a couple reading this, and you want more (much more)
information on improving your intimacy and love-making, sign up for my free
e-Newsletter at:
www.RevolutionarySex.com
I'm looking forward to sharing more great tips with you in my next article.
Your Friend,
Alex
P.S., It's important that you understand this stuff first. But obviously,
it's part of a much bigger picture. When you are ready to take the next step
and become a master of her sexual pleasure, you'll need to download my
eBook, Revolutionary Sex
P.P.S,
If you haven't signed up for my free newsletter yet, you can do that
HERE:
www.revolutionarysex.com/newsletter
Article
inspired by "Revolutionary Sex"
ebook by Alex Allman
(c) 2007-2008 Alex Allman, Robert Lee and Cheerful Attitude Web Design Ltd.,
All Rights Reserved. By accepting and reading this article you agree that: You
understand this to be an opinion and not professional advice, it is only to be
used for personal entertainment purposes, you are solely responsible for any use
of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold all authors and publishers harmless.
|
Add to Google
Add to my Yahoo
Add to MSN
Add to Bloglines
Add to Newsgator
