There is not a guy in the world who has never had a problem "getting it up" at least a few times in his life... and any guy that tells you otherwise is lying." says Alex Allman, author of "Revolutionary Sex".
It can strike any time, and like some kind of cruel joke, it usually decides to happen when the stakes are high... you are a with a woman you are especially attracted to, or that you are have strong feelings for and really want to impress.
And maybe the worst part is...
If it happens once, it has this nasty habit of happening again... because the very next time you are in bed with a woman (or the same woman), all you can think about is... "damn! I sure hope THAT doesn't happen again!"
And that's pretty much the surest way to make it happen again... or... um... NOT happen might be a better way to put it.
So maybe you try fantasizing about something that you KNOW has worked in the past-- maybe some other girl or situation, or even something from a website that got you off recently.
Most guys have tried that route, and so you probably know that it usually doesn't work so well. It's just one more train of thought that interferes with getting into what you are doing in the here and now.
And if she says or does anything that interrupts your fantasy, it takes you right back to where you were before.
you've been in the situation where everything seems good to go, you
get good an erection without any problem... but then something
interrupts the flow...
...like, say, putting on a condom...
...and suddenly, the game is off.
I get a lot of emails about this particular one... men saying that the interruption of putting on the condom can not only wilt their erection, but then make it even more difficult to get hard again.
I wish I didn't have such vivid pictures of it in my own head, but like I said, EVERYONE'S been there.
And listen carefully now: Don't ever use this as an excuse to go without protection. That's just stupid.
You need to learn a better way.
Thankfully, I never have this particular problem any more. I've learned a lot of great techniques for dealing with it, and I'm going to share a few of the best ones right here in this article.
First off, I guess I should mention for the sake of honesty and accuracy, that the various pills that are available from your doctor, that I won't mention by name (though the most popular one starts with a "V"), all work very well.
But I don't recommend you go that route.
You can... but remember that you can very quickly become dependent on them as a crutch whenever you want to get things going...
That can get expensive. And it can kill the spontaneous moment when you want to do it RIGHT NOW.
And more importantly... it can mess with your confidence and your ego.
For some guys, however, these pharmaceuticals can be very helpful to get over the initial hurdle... but for other guys it makes the situation worse because, psychologically they feel they really NEED the pills, and it stops them from EVER doing it the "normal" way.
I don't know your particular situation, but I promise you, if you can get hard when you do it alone, then you don't have a medical condition and you definitely do NOT NEED those pills.
So let's begin at the beginning:
>>The Problem Is In Your Head
This the most important thing to remember here. It is in YOUR head, and if it is in YOUR head then YOU can fix it.
Let me go back and mention again
that I am assuming that you CAN get it up when you are
alone. If this is NOT the case, then the problem could, in fact, be physical, and you need to talk to your doctor about it as soon as possible as it might indicate a more serious problem.
Okay, so if you're still with me, then the problem, we agree, is in your head.
And that's a good thing, because your head is something that you can learn to control.
I read quite a few books and articles on the subject of performance anxiety, and how it was related to stress, and all of these other factors, and all of these exercises to help you get over it...
And none of it really worked that well for me... or any of the men that I've counseled since then.
Most of the time, I'd be okay, but then once in a while I'd have a little "problem" and the next thing I knew, I'd be in a cycle of having that little problem, because it made me more and more nervous that it would happen again.
Well, believe it or not, I found the seed of the answer in Eastern Philosophy.
>>Quiet The Chattering Monkey Mind
That's what the Zen masters and Yoga gurus call it...
You know, when you just can't shut your brain off... like when you can't fall asleep at night because of all of these thoughts swirling around in your head that just won't shut up...
Or when you are in bed with a beautiful woman and you've got all of these other thoughts running through your mind...
...what about what's
going on at work...
...am I going for it too soon...
...what if she thinks I'm lame in bed...
...what if she thinks my dick is too small...
...I wonder what she's thinking right now...
...What if I can't get it up again...
...Has she noticed yet that I'm not hard...
That, my friend, is the Chattering Monkey Mind.
And is it any wonder, with all of that crap running around in your head, that you can't focus on what you are doing? That you can't get into it?
The bottom line is that you need to learn how to quiet this chattering monkey. It is doing you no good at all... and it is hurting you in the bedroom.
Worse, it is probably hurting you in other areas of your life too... this is just the one that you may be aware of.
Becoming aware that this is the problem-- and believe it or not, this really is very likely the ONLY problem that you have with getting it up-- is the first step to solving it for good.
And what's more, I absolutely guarantee that if you can quiet these intrusive voices in your mind, you will never have this problem, ever again.
So, now it's just a matter of learning that control.
If you want WAY more information on this particular method, I explain this powerful technique for eliminating performance problems in detail starting on page 16 of my eBook. And you can read it now by clicking the link at the bottom of this article...
If you really have a serious problem with this and you've really been struggling with it for a long time, I strongly recommend that you take up a meditation practice.
That's what all those Zen Masters and Yoga Gurus do to quiet their Chattering Monkey Minds-- and it works.
Take a class or get a book, and start a meditation practice in your life.
Aside from the many benefits to your stress level and brain function, it TEACHES you to control your mind. And that is a very, very useful thing to learn. It's no different from lifting weights to build your muscles... except that you are building strength in a function of your brain.
But okay, I know you are thinking you want something you can use RIGHT NOW...
Don't worry. I'm not gonna let you down.
This is a really great way of eliminating one of the loudest chattering monkeys that most guys deal with.
I've found that MOST guys who have had problems in this area say that the thing that worries them the most, the one that really loops around in their head, is: "I wonder what she is thinking right now... I wonder if she has noticed that I'm not hard."
Because this is the worst of the chattering monkeys for most guys, it is the one that creates the biggest problem for getting "into it" and getting hard.
So, first, let me give you the answer so that you can stop wondering... yes, she has noticed that you are not hard.
But the good news is that she is NOT thinking that you are a loser because you can't get it up... she's thinking that SHE is a loser.
Yep. You heard me right.
Because, you see, women are just as messed up and insecure as we are. Maybe even more.
And what she's thinking is... "oh my God, he's not into me. He doesn't like my body now that he sees me naked... I'm doing something wrong... Maybe I smell bad... he thinks my breasts look weird."
Here's another thing she's thinking: "oh no, not again."
Because unless she is a virgin, she has experienced
this situation before with other men...
because, like I said, it happens to all men from time to time. So it's not like you are the first guy she has ever been with where this happened.
The bottom line is... IT'S NO BIG DEAL...
If you just SAY something to her about it.
Instead of wondering what she is thinking while she is wondering what you are thinking...
Just TELL her what to think.
Tell her something like, "don't worry, just a little stress at work. Sometimes it takes me a little longer. It's not you at all. I'm very attracted to you, and if you are a little bit patient, everything will be working fine in just a few minutes... and if not, I promise, I'll take good care of you either way."
She will be so relieved and pleased that you were man enough to say something that she will become as happy as a kitten with manual and oral sex, and it takes the pressure off of you, so you can just enjoy yourself.
And then just do that... enjoy yourself.
Enjoy touching her and having her touch you. And in no time, if you just stop worrying about it, "the champ" will probably join in on the fun.
>> Don't Think About The Champ
And while I'm on it... the other monkey that chatters in every guy's head when he's having trouble getting it up is... thinking about getting it up.
Is it hard yet?
Is it hard yet?
I think I feel it starting to... oh, no... not yet...
Is it hard yet?
Shut that switch OFF!
I know, easier said than done. But once you reassure the girl you are with that it's nothing to think about, you need to take the same advice.
As I said above, the key is "becoming present." If your situation is minor, you will find just this advice is enough to unlock the door for you.
But if you need more to understand "becoming present" then get my book, or take a class in meditation, or... do both.
Okay, here's the hard sell:
Get the book.
Because there is way more to be an amazing lover than just getting hard... though, let's face it, that's a very important start!
But you shouldn't settle for just the minimum, and if she is a woman of high quality, then she won't either.
Learn to be the best lover that she has ever even dared to imagine.
And learn these techniques risk free by taking advantage of my 60-day trial for reading the download copy of the ebook.
You just download your copy of my online eBook and you can be reading it in just minutes from right now.
Why do I offer such a long trial period?
Because I really believe that many guys can really benefit from this information. It can change your relationships, and that can really change your life.
Learning this stuff has made such a huge difference in my life. I have the girl of my dreams now, and I know that she is a very happy and completely devoted to my happiness.
What is confidence like that worth?
Man, I sure wish somebody had been around to give me this information, but I had to learn it the hard way... Across more than 15 years of serious research and experimentation to arrive at the simple truths of what drives women wild in bed.
Click here now for more information and to signup for my free sex tips newsletter--
I hope you enjoyed this article, and I look forward to sharing much more in future articles on alovelinksplus.com!
This article is written with advice from the ebook "Revolutionary Sex" by Alex Allman.
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(c) 2007-2012 Alex Allman, New You Advice Inc, Robert Lee and Cheerful Attitude Web Design Ltd., All Rights Reserved. By accepting and reading this article you agree that: You understand this to be an opinion and not professional advice, it is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes, you are solely responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold all authors and publishers harmless.