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Holiday Blues

“Don't Call That Man! A Survival Guide To Letting Go”Rhonda Findling M.A.,C.R.C psychotherapist and author of “Don't Call That Man! A Survival Guide To Letting Go”, “The Commitment Cure, What To Do When You Fall For An Ambivalent Man” and “The Dating Cure”. You can visit Rhonda's web site at

“I’m so depressed! I always get like this around the Christmas holidays. Everything else in my life is going pretty well. What’s wrong with me?” Phil asked his psychotherapist.

Phil is not alone. Millions of people suffer from depression around the winter holidays. As a result they may drink too much, overeat, and spend money they don’t really have in an effort to fight off feelings of sadness and depression.

What is it about the holiday season that puts people into such sates of depression? Psychotherapist Gerald Alper, author of “The Single’s scene,” explains, “What we’re supposed to think and feel on holidays is often not actually what we think and feel, which causes us to feel disappointed. For instance, during the holidays you’re supposed to have some sense of well being and cheer. But this is sometimes not the case.”

Dr. Richard King, a psychiatrist and assistance clinical professor at New York University Medical Center, commented, “Holidays bring up issues of a family in a very strong way, and as a result one can feel emotionally deprived.”

Feelings of disappointment, deprivation and unresolved conflict can all lead to depression. But what can you do for yourself if you do get depressed during this time of year?

I tell my parents to allow themselves to experience their feelings and thoughts and try not to judge them. Talk about your feelings to a friend you trust or a therapist, if the depression becomes too overwhelming.

Spend time nurturing yourself and doing things that make you feel good about yourself. Try not to isolate yourself during this time of year, because connecting with others can sometimes relieve depression – even if it is only temporary relief. And remember that this holiday season, like all the previous ones, shall pass!


Rhonda Findling "Don't Call That Man!"

© 2006 Rhonda Findling

Rhonda Findling M.A., C. R. C. is a psychotherapist with a private practice based in New York City and Atlanta, Georgia. She does phone consultations with clients all over the country. She is the author of “Don’t Call That Man! A Survival Guide To Letting Go” (Hyperion, 1999), "The Commitment Cure, What To Do When You fall For An Ambivalent Man" (Adams Media, 2004) and "The Dating Cure" (Adams Media 2005).Her website provides a message board for registered members which is utilized by women to support each other when struggling with relationship issues.


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