Romance dies, that's a fact, right? When you find the love of your life,
you'll both settle into a daily routine of financial, household, and child
responsibilities, forgetting you are a couple, right? Romance will only last
through the initial crush of the relationship. After that you and your partner
will start taking each other for granted, right?
It does not have to be this way. There are many relationships where romance is
alive and well. I am in such a relationship, and you can be as well.
And in case you think this is a trivial subject, please
know romance matters to the health and well being of your relationship.
Being romantic is nothing more or less than appreciating and celebrating
your partner. This means if romance dies, one or both people in the
relationship will begin to feel unappreciated. How much love can you get
from someone who feels unappreciated? Enough said.
Below are three attitudes/actions for you to adapt to make sure romance
never dies in your relationship -- or to help you revive it.
1. Learn compassion and acceptance
Realize that your partner is human, no matter how perfect he or she
seemed in the beginning. He is going to do things that bug you. She is
going to do things to disappoint you. Expect this.
In fact, is there any relationship of any type, where this is not the
case? Try to have as much compassion for and acceptance of your partner
as you do for your friends.
Most importantly, remember your partner is not imperfect to hurt you.
His or her imperfections are not an indication of lack of love for you.
2. Communicate, communicate, communicate
Communicate when you feel hurt. Communicate when you need something to
change. Communicate when you are disappointed. Communicate when you feel
angry. Communicate when you feel needy.
It is the negative emotions, like those above, we tend to not want to
communicate in a relationship. We think we are taking care of our
partner by sparing him or her our anger or disappointment. In fact, when
we hold our negative emotions back, we are quietly releasing poison into
the atmosphere of the relationship.
The best thing to do with any negative emotion is to get it out in the
open and resolve it.
3. Appreciate and celebrate your partner every day
I know this one is hard to do, but here is something that will help
immediately.
Live each day as if this is the last day you have with your partner. I
don't mean to be fatalistic, but accidents happen all of the time. For
all you know, today could be the last day you and your partner have
together. And if it is the last day, you won't know it until it is over.
The thing most people regret at death of a loved one is not having had
the opportunity to say "I love you". If a loved one has died in your
life, you know exactly what I mean.
Live each day as if it were the last day of your relationship. If you
adapt this attitude, romance will return immediately. After all, if this
really was the last day with your partner, you would want him or her to
know how much he or she is loved and appreciated.
Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
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(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to
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