I received many comments
after last week's article, most from readers who were quite upset at my
comparing being single to a disease. I do not want to so much explain or
excuse what I said, as to give you some food for thought.
I have found that when I am struggling to understand and change a
situation, it is often useful to turn my view of the situation on its
head, or sideways, or upside down -- in other words, to look at the
situation from a different perspective. It's most useful to shift my
paradigm about the situation -- to see it in a new, revolutionary,
breakthrough way. One way to do this is through the use of language.
In fact, this is why most of you enjoy my writing so much. I make sure
that every article contains one or more paradigm shift in it -- a new
way to view a situation that may facilitate a breakthrough, a change in
how you interact with the situation/problem/issue.
Sometimes a paradigm shift can be particularly poignant or alternatively
daring, or obnoxious, or downright wrong. Regardless, if it pushes
buttons, it's working -- at the same time that you get a realization, or
shock, or annoyance, you are often getting a change in perspective.
To say that being chronically single can be viewed in the same way as
having a disease is certainly pushing the envelope. The point is that
even if being single is not at all like having a disease, didn't reading
that analogy make you think about being single in a different way?
If it didn't, I invite you
to purposefully seek out different ways of looking at situations,
instead of pushing these perspectives away. Even if the description
doesn't ultimately fit, a new perspective almost always will bring
something new into your life, if you are open to it.
So to set the record straight about last week, I have the utmost respect
for all ways of being in regard to relationships
-- single, married, living together, undecided, etc. It is not my place
nor do I feel in any way that I can tell you whether you need to be in a
relationship, or single, or any other way.
But for those people who are suffering with being
single -- for whom it is an unwelcome state of being -- it might be useful to
look at being single in the same terms as having a disease. It may work to
apply systematic measures to attract love in the same dedicated, unflinching
fashion some would try to cure themselves if they had a real disease.
To that end, I have created a definitive class on how to stop being single. In
it are the actions you need to take as well as the internal work you need to
do to finally stop being single, to become "cured." If love is what you want,
you will find the "cure" at
www.whatittakes.com/classes/single.html. Go there for information on the
class and to enroll.
Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
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(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2003. Do you know how to
attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling
relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship
Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract
and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit
www.WhatItTakes.com
where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine.
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