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Rinatta Paries: Is Being Single A Disease?

Rinatta Paries,  Relationship Coach

I received many comments after last week's article, most from readers who were quite upset at my comparing being single to a disease. I do not want to so much explain or excuse what I said, as to give you some food for thought.

I have found that when I am struggling to understand and change a situation, it is often useful to turn my view of the situation on its head, or sideways, or upside down -- in other words, to look at the situation from a different perspective. It's most useful to shift my paradigm about the situation -- to see it in a new, revolutionary, breakthrough way. One way to do this is through the use of language.

In fact, this is why most of you enjoy my writing so much. I make sure that every article contains one or more paradigm shift in it -- a new way to view a situation that may facilitate a breakthrough, a change in how you interact with the situation/problem/issue.

Sometimes a paradigm shift can be particularly poignant or alternatively daring, or obnoxious, or downright wrong. Regardless, if it pushes buttons, it's working -- at the same time that you get a realization, or shock, or annoyance, you are often getting a change in perspective.

To say that being chronically single can be viewed in the same way as having a disease is certainly pushing the envelope. The point is that even if being single is not at all like having a disease, didn't reading that analogy make you think about being single in a different way?

If it didn't, I invite you to purposefully seek out different ways of looking at situations, instead of pushing these perspectives away. Even if the description doesn't ultimately fit, a new perspective almost always will bring something new into your life, if you are open to it.

So to set the record straight about last week, I have the utmost respect for all ways of being in regard to relationships
-- single, married, living together, undecided, etc. It is not my place nor do I feel in any way that I can tell you whether you need to be in a relationship, or single, or any other way.

But for those people who are suffering with being single -- for whom it is an unwelcome state of being -- it might be useful to look at being single in the same terms as having a disease. It may work to apply systematic measures to attract love in the same dedicated, unflinching fashion some would try to cure themselves if they had a real disease.

To that end, I have created a definitive class on how to stop being single. In it are the actions you need to take as well as the internal work you need to do to finally stop being single, to become "cured." If love is what you want, you will find the "cure" at www.whatittakes.com/classes/single.html. Go there for information on the class and to enroll.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries


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(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2003. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!

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