-------------------------------------------
The 10 areas you will be working in are:
-------------------------------------------
1. Letting Go of the Past: Have You Moved On?
2. Your Needs: Can You Handle Them on Your Own?
3. Strong Boundaries: Can You Maintain Them in a Relationship?
4. Past Relationship Patterns: Do You Know Yours Well Enough?
5. New Relationship Patterns: Can You See People Who are Good for You?
6. Right Mate and Relationship: Have You Identified what You Need?
7. Social Life: Is Yours Enough Fun?
8. Your Life: How Meaningful Is It?
9. Spirituality: Is Yours Strong Enough to Sustain You?
10. New Dating Patterns: How to Build a Solid Relationship
------------------------------------------
1. Letting Go of the Past: Have You Moved On?
-------------------------------------------
_ I do not often think of my past relationship partners
_ I hold no anger or resentment toward any of my past partners
_ I have
forgiven each of my past relationship partners
_ I am not hoping to reconnect
with past relationship partners
_ I am not angry or resentful at the opposite
gender
_ I do not make sweeping statements about how the opposite gender is or
isn't
_ I do not look down at, am not jealous or angry at the same gender
_ I have forgiven myself for past relationship mistakes and choices
_ I do not talk to myself badly about what I did in the past
_ I am grateful for my past relationships -- they helped make me who I am
today
__ Total number of statements checked
-------------------------------------------
2. Your Needs: Can You Handle Them on Your Own?
-------------------------------------------
_ I know everyone has needs, including me
_ I know I have needs and it is vital for them to be met
_ I know that someone I just met can't meet my needs
_ I know my key needs
_ My top three needs get met every day, by me
_ I know the difference between healthy needs and being needy
_ I recognize which situations set me up to feel needy
_ I practice great self-care when I feel needy
_ I consistently take great care of myself, all the time
_ I have a spiritual solution to some of my needs
_ I get my needs met by me and friends/family
__ Total number of statements checked
-------------------------------------------
3. Strong Boundaries: Can You Maintain Them in a Relationship?
-------------------------------------------
_ I can say "no" when I need to
_ It's important for me to have boundaries to protect me
_ I know clearly what my boundaries are
_ I do not let people cross my boundaries
_ I have a way of setting boundaries that does not offend or push people away
_ I make sure I am heard when setting my boundaries
_ I am being supportive of other people when I set boundaries
_ I am the most important person in my life
_ I gently but effectively educate people about my boundaries
_ I respect and honor others' boundaries
__ Total number of statements checked
-------------------------------------------
4. Past Relationship Patterns: Do You Know Yours Well Enough?
-------------------------------------------
You may find the PatternTracker Quiz of great help in filling out this
section:
http://www.whatittakes.com/Quiz2/patterntracker.html
_ I know my relationship patterns
_ I know where these patterns came from
_ I know the type of partners I tend to attract to play out my patterns
_ I know what I used to do to attract this type of person
_ I know what I usually do to keep this person in the relationship
_ I know what the costs have been of playing out my relationship patterns
_ I know what I got out of being in these relationships
_ I have discovered what I must have thought about myself to play out my old
relationship patterns
_ I have discovered what I must have believed about relationships, given the
relationships I was in
_ I understand and know all of the above so well, I can no longer do any of it
(Hurray for you!)
__ Total number of statements checked
-------------------------------------------
5. New Relationship Patterns: Can You See People Who are Good for You?
-------------------------------------------
_ I quickly recognize the types of partners I was attracted to in the past
_ I recognize and can dismiss the attraction I feel toward past like-partners
_ I recognize available people
_ I recognize people on a spiritual path
_ I recognize people in the process of growth
_ I recognize kind people
_ I see people for who they are rather than for who I want them to be
_ I am attracted to partners who will be good for me
_ I surround myself with people who are good for me
_ I have numerous role models of good relationships around me
__ Total number of statements checked
-------------------------------------------
6. Right Mate and Relationship: Have You Identified What You Need?
-------------------------------------------
_ I have defined what I need from a partner in order to thrive in a
relationship
_ I have defined what behaviors/qualities/habits are important to me living
day-to-day with a partner
_ I have identified five relationship needs to absolutely be met by my partner
_ I have defined what I value above all else in a partner -- the one quality I
must have
_ I have defined what I can't live without in a relationship
_ I have defined the worst thing(s) a partner could do to me
_ I have defined what I absolutely won't tolerate
_ I have dropped all demands on another that I don't demand of myself
_ I am willing to be in the process of growth with a partner
_ I am not willing to settle for a person who does not have the qualities most
important to me
__ Total number of statements checked
-------------------------------------------
7. Social Life: Is Yours Enough Fun?
-------------------------------------------
_ I engage only in activities that bring me great pleasure and joy
_ I no longer engage in activities to meet a partner -- I participate for the
sake of fun
_ I am being me at all times in all situations
_ I never use sexuality, power, or money as a way to attract partners -- I let
them be attracted to all of me
_ I don't expect everyone to be attracted to me
_ I no longer require attention from everyone
_ I don't compare myself to others
_ I readily participate in activities rather than sitting at home
_ I surround
myself with loving supportive friends
_ I am building a healthy, vibrant,
loving community
__ Total number of statements checked
-------------------------------------------
8. Your Life: How Meaningful Is It?
-------------------------------------------
_ I have dreams and goals for my life, with or without a partner
_ I am
working on achieving some of my life dreams and goals
_ I am living my life to
the fullest
_ I know what type of work makes my soul sing and I am doing it or
working on creating it
_ I know what my life purpose is or I am working on figuring it out
_ I know what I contribute to others or I am working on figuring it out
_ I know how I want to spend my life or I am working on figuring it out
_ I know where and how I want to live or I am working on figuring it out
_ I know the legacy I want to leave behind or I am working on figuring it out
_ I know how to give my life purpose whether or not I am in a relationship
__ Total number of statements checked
-------------------------------------------
9. Spirituality: Is Yours Strong Enough to Sustain You?
-------------------------------------------
_ I have a relationship with my Higher Power
_ I have my own spiritual practice
_ I take some time for silence and/or meditation every day
_ I am in touch with my intuition
_ I can distinguish intuition from other thoughts and feelings
_ I can trust
my intuition
_ I know when to take steps and when to wait things out
_ I am
not in a rush to be in a relationship -- I have time
_ I know I will attract
the right partner into my life at the right time
_ I am truly happy and living a full life
__ Total number of statements checked
-------------------------------------------
10. New Dating Patterns: How to Build a Solid Relationship
-------------------------------------------
_ I am a woman and I allow men to pursue me or I am a man and comfortable
taking first steps in a relationship
_ I don't do provocative flirting early
in a relationship
_ I do not get intimate until I am in a committed
relationship
_ I limit our together time in the beginning of a relationship; I
get to know the person slowly
_ We spend much more time together in person that on the phone or email
_ I am myself at all times in the dating process, I don't pretend to be better
than I am ordinarily
_ I am clear about how I want and don't want to be treated and I communicate
these desires to my partner
_ I do not test my partner -- if I am wondering about how something will be in
this relationship, I ask
_ I am in a relationship with who my partner is now, without hope of
changing/improving him or her
_ I have fun in the dating/relationship process, instead of feeling anxious or
stressed about where the relationship is going
__ Total number of statements checked
_____ Your quiz score
Add the total points for all sections to determine your score. The closer your
score is to 101 points, the more likely you are to attract a great partner and
build a long-term, satisfying relationship.
-----------------------------------------
Interpreting Your Quiz Score
Think of your unmarked quiz statements as action points. Work on each point
until you can wholeheartedly agree with it!
-----------------------------------------
------------------------
75 to 101 Points
------------------------
You have the ability to attract your right partner easily. In fact, you may
already be in a relationship and are looking to improve your relationship
skills. But if you are still single, you may just need a little push in the
right direction to be able to attract the love of your life.
Want that push?
Check out the current singles classes, especially the newest class -- How to
Stop Being Single -- at
http://www.whatittakes.com/classes/singleshelp.html
Also, check out ProblemSolver sessions -- an opportunity to work on your
relationship one-on-one with Coach Rinatta Paries. For more info, go to
http://www.whatittakes.com/Coaching/problemsolver.html
------------------------
50 to 74 Points
---------------------
You feel good about the opposite sex and dating…sometimes. Other times you
feel as if something is still holding you back from having the relationship of
your dreams. You believe in love at first sight and keep looking for chemistry
as an indicator of the next Mr. or Ms. Right. You will be able to attract your
right mate more easily after you do some relationship skill-building.
Here is one way to build your relationship skills -- take the newest class for
singles, How to Stop Being Single. To enroll and for more info go to
http://www.whatittakes.com/classes/single.html
------------------------
0 to 49 Points
-----------------------
You feel frustrated with dating -- or lack thereof -- and sometimes think
there will never be a relationship for you. You may feel frustrated with this
quiz and feel it has pegged you wrong. You very much believe in love at first
sight and chemistry. You will be able to attract your right mate more easily
after you delve deeply into relationship skill building.
Consider enrolling in one of the classes designed for singles to help you in
your quest for true love:
How to Stop Being Single:
http://www.whatittakes.com/classes/single.html
Getting a Date
http://www.whatittakes.com/classes/gettingadate.html
Discerning Available Partners
http://www.whatittakes.com/classes/discerning.html
Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
____________________________________________________
4. Additional Resources to Put This Article Into Practice
____________________________________________________
--Featured Class: How to Stop Being Single--
If you're sick and tired of being perpetually single and want to finally
attract or find the love of your life, enroll in this class and find out what
to start doing right now, and what internal work is necessary to sustain
change. To enroll and get answers go to
http://whatittakes.com/classes/single.html
--Need Some Problem Solving and Support Right Now?? --
This holiday season, give yourself the gift of clarity and peace of mind by
getting some problem solving and support from Coach Rinatta Paries--schedule a
ProblemSolver coaching session. For more info, go to
http://www.whatittakes.com/Coaching/problemsolver.html
Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
-------------------------------------------------------------------
(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2003. Do you know how to
attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling
relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship
Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract
and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit
www.WhatItTakes.com
where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine.
Become a "true love magnet(tm)!
Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
500+ Dating Service Reviews
Join Us!
Dating Tips For Men
