Many singles pursue relationship coaching to learn dating strategies and
receive the guidance they need to be successful. Here, I will share my list of
ten strategies for successful dating.
You may find these strategies old-fashioned or counterintuitive. But they
work.
If you date in order to find a long-term relationship,
these strategies will help you meet the love of your life and settle
down into a long-term, satisfying relationship.
If you are already in a relationship, many of these strategies can put a
spark back into your relationship.
Here are my ten strategies for successful dating:
1. If you are a woman who generally pursues men first, stop and allow
men to pursue you. If you are a man who waits for women to ask you out,
take the first step and ask them out instead. A woman pursuing a man
sets up an uncomfortable power dynamic that is difficult to change
later.
2. Stay away from verbal foreplay early on in the relationship. Engage
in sexual-type talk only after you know each other well, at least a few
months into the relationship. These types of conversations can become
the central focus of your interactions, making it harder to experience
other parts of your relationship.
3. Don't have a sexual relationship until you are committed to and love
each other. This may seem old fashioned; however, relationships are
partnerships. Although sexuality is a part of a relationship, it is not
a good foundation on which to build a relationship. If you build your
relationship on sex, it will most likely fall like a house of cards.
4. Limit your time together in the beginning. See or be on the phone
with each other in moderation. How is a house built? Brick by brick. How
have you developed friendships? Over time. Does an intimate relationship
deserve any less?
5. Spend more time courting in person rather than by email or phone.
Electronic communication has an aspect of anonymity and safety. It
allows for a false sense of closeness. If this is your primary mode of
communication, you may feel awkward with each other in person.
6. Be yourself at all times in the dating process. Doing so allows both
of you to clearly see if the relationship will work. If you are
compatible, you will discover more things to like about each other. If
you are not compatible, you will be able to find out sooner rather than
later.
7. Be clear from the start about how you want and don't want to be
treated. It is better to know how your new partner responds to your
boundaries and standards.
8. Be aware of who your new partner is. At the same time, don't
automatically assume he will disappoint you in the same ways you have
been disappointed before. Give him a chance to treat you well rather
than testing to see if he will cause you pain.
9. Accept your new partner as she is or don't engage in the
relationship. If her behavior bothers you but doesn't bother her, you
can be sure that this behavior will continue. Accept how your new
partner is now, rather than hoping for change, or get out.
10. Enjoy. Have fun. Connect. Learn. Dating is wonderful. It's a chance
to meet new and interesting people and do fun activities. It's an
opportunity for growth. If you do it gently, without jeopardizing your
emotional well-being, it will add sparkle to your life.
Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
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(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to
attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling
relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship
Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract
and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit
www.WhatItTakes.com
where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine.
Become a "true love magnet(tm)!
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