Many times when people want
to attract their ideal partner, they make a list of things to do --
action steps, if you will -- that will help them meet "the one." They
add new activities into their routine, join dating services, and write
singles ads. They may start an exercise program or buy new clothes in an
effort to look better. They let their friends know they're "in the
market."
Seldom do people think of giving up something as a way to attract Mr. or
Ms. Right. Well, this is not entirely true. People may give up such
things as smoking or overeating. But the kind of "giving-up" I'm
referring to is about your beliefs, attitudes, and feelings. Giving up
something in one of these areas is more likely to lead you to your Mr.
or Ms. Right.
Below is a list of things you should consider giving up if you want to
attract your Mr. or Ms. Right.
1. Give up anger at the opposite sex.
You can tell when people have a chip on their shoulders. And yet those
who are angry and disappointed with the opposite sex think their
feelings are undetectable. If you can truly give up the anger at the
opposite sex, you have a much better chance of attracting the partner
you want.
2. Give up on your past relationships.
Most of us can tell when someone is unavailable or ambivalent about
dating because of an unfinished relationship. If you hope that one of
your past partners will come back, others will be able to tell. Your
ideal partner will surely want a completely available partner. You'll be
hard pressed to attract him or her until you are completely available.
3. Give up trying to be perfect in order to attract a mate.
As long as you think your body, your pocketbook, or your emotional
well-being have to be in perfect shape in order to be loved, you will
remain alone. A state of perfection can seldom be achieved -- we are
inherently imperfect. You are peachy just as you are for some lucky
person out there.
4. Give up protecting
yourself from hurt.
Lots of singles devise all sorts of tests to make sure potential
partners won't hurt them the way they were hurt in the past. This never
works because people know when they are being tested and will either
fake it or fail on purpose. Instead, become the type of person who is
seldom mistreated and who can set strong, clear boundaries.
5. Give up looking for a relationship.
Looking for a relationship is like looking for a needle in a haystack.
Although singles ads and dating services bring some success and are good for
getting lots of dating experience, most people still meet their life partner
by chance. Your best bet for finding your Mr. or Ms. Right is to have a
wonderful life now.
6. Give up on conversations about the lack of available partners. Singles
frequently complain: "There are no good single men or women left." "There are
no good single men or women where I live." You will see what you believe you
will see. The issue is not about what types of singles are in your community
or whether there are any good men or women left. It is not about men and women
out there at all, because you don't need many men or women to be a particular
way. What you want and need is one compatible partner. And this one partner is
waiting for you to change your belief about what you will see and make him or
her visible to you.
Want to know how to take effective actions on these six items you need to give
up? The action steps and the other 11 lessons are all detailed in the new
class, "How to Stop Being Single." For more info and to register go to
http://www.whatittakes.com/classes/singleshelp.html
Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
-------------------------------------------------------------------
(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2003. Do you know how to
attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling
relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship
Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract
and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit
www.WhatItTakes.com
where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine.
Become a "true love magnet (tm)!
Dating Tips For Men
Get a Great Girl »
Today's Question
Popular Dating Ebooks
