Stephen Blake, Author "Loving
Your Long Distance Relationship". Find out more about the "Loving Your
Long Distance Relationship" Series of books, or to order your own copy visit
Stephen Blake's website.
Read how others have survived the 'long distance' in their relationships. You're
not alone!
Article from the Loving Your
Long Distance Relationship archive
Well, for starters, my boyfriend & I are still in
a long distance relationship. He's in the Navy, currently deployed across
seas. I'll be seeing him for the first time in 5 months. We've only been
together 9-10 months. It's been incredibly rough. We met online, it was kind
of hesitant at first because I had been there & done that, he on the other
hand had not. But he wanted to. I, like a lot of others, didn't believe long
distance relationships worked. After all, I had 2 before him. I had given up
on trying the distant love! But Felix, talked me into it. It was a slow
process that took us a few weeks before we moved in any direction. It was a
month before we swapped phone numbers. It took initially a couple of weeks
afterwards before we met. But when we did, it was definitely love at first
site. After we said goodbye, I realized I never wanted to be away from him,
but we had lives to live. I mean, he's in the Navy. They're constantly gone &
I'm in college working on a degree in business, prepping for law school &
raising a 3 yr. old from a previous relationship.
Being with Felix has been a learning experience. We've made this relationship
work by trust, understanding, communication & incredible strength. You think
having a significant other in another state is hard? Try having a long
distance love who's in the military. That's an experience for ya! But the
survival tip is knowing that you share a love so strong that even your closest
friends can't talk you out of. I've had friends who all told me it's not gonna
work because I can't physically be with him all the time. Well, I don't
believe spending all your time with that person will make you love them even
more. There's the life you share & your separate lives. Felix has never given
me a reason to distrust him. I don't keep tabs on him, he doesn't keep any on
me. We've basically survived the distance by mere love & trust.
Felix & I share a great distance. He lives in NY,
but is stationed in Norfolk, VA. I live in a small town in Florida. Most of
our relationship in the beginning was spent traveling from here to there just
so we could be together. It was the hardest thing when we had to say good bye.
I hated it. But at times, separation makes the heart grow fonder & stronger!
The funny thing is, when I was dating the other guys I always said to them,
"the only way I travel to you is if I'm gonna marry you!" I remember
joking about it with Felix! Well, the weekend before I traveled to VA to be
with him, I said you must be planning to marry me?! Little did I know! We
aren't officially engaged yet because before he could do so he was deployed,
but it's something that we're doing when he gets home. I graduate college in
December this year & I'm moving to VA to spend the rest of my life with this
incredible sailor aboard the Theodore Roosevelt. I won't sugar coat anything,
yes, our relationship has been tried & tested more ways than one.
We spent many nights
on the phone wondering if we were making the right decision after all, it was
rushed into. But because of this deployment, we've realized that if we can be
apart this long & still be there emotionally for one another, then we can get
through anything.
I have to say, there were times when I thought I'd go out of my mind. He'd be
out with friends & I'd be stuck here home alone. I'd wonder what if he's
tempted or what if that. But when you love a person so much, you're gonna give
them the benefit of the doubt. I've been given so many compliments on my
strength while he's gone. He constantly tells me that he appreciates the
support I've shown, the letters I send & the emails. The way we communicate
every night is this: Before I go to bed, I email him a poem that I wrote
especially for him. Or I write down song lyrics that symbolize our love s he
can read them when he checks his email. I've sent him little reminders through
the mail. Everything that will make a man stop & think, ok, if she's doing
this now then she really wants to make this work. Recently I found that he's
been sleeping with a picture of me at night. Every port they go to, he calls &
our conversations are usually 10 minutes or less, but he calls to say I love
you, I miss you & thank you. On Mother's Day, he called & told me Happy
Mother's Day & that he loves me. . .that was our conversation for the day!
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