Stephen Blake, Author "Loving
Your Long Distance Relationship". Find out more about the "Loving Your
Long Distance Relationship" Series of books, or to order your own copy visit
Stephen Blake's website.
Read how others have survived the 'long distance' in their relationships. You're
not alone!
Article from the Loving Your
Long Distance Relationship archive
Well, for starters, my boyfriend & I are still in a
long distance relationship. He's in the Navy, currently deployed across seas.
I'll be seeing him for the first time in 5 months. We've only been together 9-10
months. It's been incredibly rough. We met online, it was kind of hesitant at
first because I had been there & done that, he on the other hand had not. But he
wanted to. I, like a lot of others, didn't believe long distance relationships
worked. After all, I had 2 before him. I had given up on trying the distant
love! But Felix, talked me into it. It was a slow process that took us a few
weeks before we moved in any direction. It was a month before we swapped phone
numbers. It took initially a couple of weeks afterwards before we met. But when
we did, it was definitely love at first site. After we said goodbye, I realized
I never wanted to be away from him, but we had lives to live. I mean, he's in
the Navy. They're constantly gone & I'm in college working on a degree in
business, prepping for law school & raising a 3 yr. old from a previous
relationship.
Being with Felix has been a learning experience. We've made this relationship
work by trust, understanding, communication & incredible strength. You think
having a significant other in another state is hard? Try having a long distance
love who's in the military. That's an experience for ya! But the survival tip is
knowing that you share a love so strong that even your closest friends can't
talk you out of. I've had friends who all told me it's not gonna work because I
can't physically be with him all the time. Well, I don't believe spending all
your time with that person will make you love them even more. There's the life
you share & your separate lives. Felix has never given me a reason to distrust
him. I don't keep tabs on him, he doesn't keep any on me. We've basically
survived the distance by mere love & trust.
Felix & I share a great distance. He lives in NY, but is stationed in Norfolk,
VA. I live in a small town in Florida. Most of our relationship in the beginning
was spent traveling from here to there just so we could be together. It was the
hardest thing when we had to say good bye. I hated it. But at times, separation
makes the heart grow fonder & stronger! The funny thing is, when I was dating
the other guys I always said to them, "the only way I travel to you is if I'm
gonna marry you!" I remember joking about it with Felix! Well, the weekend
before I traveled to VA to be with him, I said you must be planning to marry
me?! Little did I know! We aren't officially engaged yet because before he could
do so he was deployed, but it's something that we're doing when he gets home. I
graduate college in December this year & I'm moving to VA to spend the rest of
my life with this incredible sailor aboard the Theodore Roosevelt. I won't sugar
coat anything, yes, our relationship has been tried & tested more ways than one.
We spent many nights on the phone wondering if we were making the right decision
after all, it was rushed into. But because of this deployment, we've realized
that if we can be apart this long & still be there emotionally for one another,
then we can get through anything.
I have to say, there were times when I thought I'd go out of my mind. He'd be
out with friends & I'd be stuck here home alone. I'd wonder what if he's tempted
or what if that. But when you love a person so much, you're gonna give them the
benefit of the doubt. I've been given so many compliments on my strength while
he's gone. He constantly tells me that he appreciates the support I've shown,
the letters I send & the emails. The way we communicate every night is this:
Before I go to bed, I email him a poem that I wrote especially for him. Or I
write down song lyrics that symbolize our love s he can read them when he checks
his email. I've sent him little reminders through the mail. Everything that will
make a man stop & think, ok, if she's doing this now then she really wants to
make this work. Recently I found that he's been sleeping with a picture of me at
night. Every port they go to, he calls & our conversations are usually 10
minutes or less, but he calls to say I love you, I miss you & thank you. On
Mother's Day, he called & told me Happy Mother's Day & that he loves me. . .that
was our conversation for the day!
So there are many things that help you survive in a long distance relationship.
If you believe in it, it will work for you! The one thing to remember is that
distance, great or small, can be a challenge. You just put your heart into it.
I'm only 20, I'll be 21 this year & Felix is 23, he is the one I want to share
my life with. When you have that, don't let anyone destroy it for you. And,
don't follow the "you need to be with him to have that physical thing to have a
real relationship." A relationship is when 2 people love one another, want to be
together, commit & make it work through good & bad.
Even local relationships suffer from the same problems we do. You know what
else, the best part about a long distance relationship is that when there's an
argument, you have that cool down period away from one another. No slamming
doors! The best advice is to love one another whether far or near.
Portia, Florida, USA
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If you have a Long Distance Relationship Love Story, publish it today by
clicking here. Find out about the "Loving Your Long Distance Relationship"
Series of books from
Stephen Blake's website.
Copyright (c) 2005 Stephen
Blake. All rights reserved.
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