Dating Great! with advice by

The Coffee Date Is Your First Real Step In Getting To Know Someone

Here’s what's happening:

You’ve recently met a person, decided that they are worth a little bit more of your time to get to know a little better, so what do you do? What is it you suggest for your first meeting (not a date yet!)

There can be no better way than a carefully planned coffee date.

Your coffee date should be for the mid-late afternoon, an hour or so after lunch, or early evening an hour or so before dinner time. The essentials being that the coffee date takes place in daylight hours and is set for 20 to 30 minutes, no longer.

You appearance should be dressy casual, a nice shirt/sweater, maybe clean jeans (new-ish not tattered) or khaki pants. No 2 piece suits for the man, no dresses or skirts for the ladies, you want to be comfortable, remember, it’s just coffee, right?

Prepare yourself for a long 20 minutes of chit chat and asking/answering questions. Preparation includes deciding what to ask and how you’d answer the same. Don’t worry about saying things like “Isn’t that a third date question?” instead of feeling that you need to answer everything. Try to keep the questions open ended and the other person talking. Surprisingly enough, people do like to talk about themselves more that hearing about others and you’ll easily come off a winner by letting the other person talk. Of course, this could backfire if they are “boorish” and have a self-importance personality that was not previously displayed, but at least you’ll know more about the person and it’s only 20 minutes out of your life rather than an entire evening (or heaven help us, a lifetime!)

Keep away from talking about religion, politics and environmental issues. Stick to a plan of current events, parental upbringing topics and growing up remembrances as safe topics of conversation. Be sure to read today’s newspaper to have some material to fall back on if there happens to be any silent periods or lulls in the steady flow of your conversation.

Questions to get to know someone on a coffee date, such as these, are a great starting point for your conversation:

1. What would you say had the biggest influence on you when you were growing up?
2. Did both of your parents work?
3. Where did (do) you spend your summers?
4. Did you ever (do you) have pets?
5. Do you watch any TV shows regularly?
6. What’s the last movie you went out to see?
7. What type of music would I find in your CD player?
8. What’s the last book you read (or who is your favorite author)?
9. What would be your dream career?
10. What is the most modern piece of technology you own?

These open ended questions will allow for a variety of follow-up questions that will show themselves to you as your meeting continues. You will discover their personality, their worldliness and drive for possessions and travel. Any of these can be good or bad traits, depending on what you find desirable in a person.

When your designated time to end the coffee date nears it is safe to either state that you really don’t have much in common, but thanks for having coffee with me, or to plan a next meeting/date in a couple of days.
Your coffee date should have this type of definite end to it so there are no hard feelings and uncomfortable confrontations later.
Under no circumstances should you go beyond the time you allowed for this date.
Be sure that any family/friends you told about this date are notified when it ends and told how things worked out. Never go to a first date without telling someone and planning a “safe call” when it is over. Your “safe call” can be them calling you to make sure you are OK, or you calling them to say the date is over and you are going home or returning to work, whatever. This is extremely important.

Meeting someone and getting to know them are two different and distinct stages of any relationship.
We wish you well on your baby steps into a new relationship!

This article is © 2005-2009 cheerful attitude web design ltd, and Robert Lee.


Today's Question

Popular Advice Ebooks

Free Ebooks

Visit our ebook page with many free ebooks. Browse and download. You can download:

More Ebooks

aLoveLinksPlus Singles Dating Membership: Login | Join Free Sitemap
Advice | Dating Service Reviews A- Z | Guest Articles | Horoscopes | Shopping
Free Dating Advice Ebooks | Relationship TestsComments | Sitemap | Blog | RSS Feed | Home

Partners Meet Christian Singles Today!

Online Dating at Get your personalized matches at one of the fastest growing dating sites!

Go to

Cherry Blossoms


Register for free now at - Meet Christian Singles! The Modern Day Sugar Daddy Website

Single Latin Woman, Where the Classy, Attractive and Affluent Meet!


PerfectMatch #1 Trusted Online Dating Site - The Best Approach to Finding the Right Person for You. New single cuties. New sensations.

Find Love at!

eHarmony - Love Begins Here Psst... Wanna Party? Find Singles Near You for FREE

Match Affinity: Start Your Next Relationship Here

Join Lavalife FREE!

Catholic Match

Chat con Meetic : Chatta con milioni di single - Iscrizione gratuita Quick, affordable, and discreet health testing, drug testing, and sexually transmitted disease testing. 5% off with coupon code HEALTHY

Get 15% Off! at

Tan-Through Shirts for Men and Women

Get free printable coupons now from You can never be too safe with your family. Run a background check on anyone that you let into your home. for SAME DAY DELIVERY of Roses, Lillies, Sunflowers, Plants and Gourmet Gifts. Start here!

Make truly anonymous calls with SpoofCard

Play Your Favorite Games Online for FREE or for Cash. Over $250,000 in Cash Prizes Won Daily on!


DATING sites come and DATING sites go, PLEASE let us know of any BROKEN LINKS HERE ~~ Google+ ~~ Newsletter Support by
©1999-2012 By using this website you agree to these terms