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Michael W - The Dating Wizard: The Spell To Dating Success
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Welcome
to "The Dating
Wizard's: Spell To Dating Success" article series.
This series of articles (below and listed on the right) are a small
part of the information contained in "The Secrets To Success With
Women" ebook and "The Seduction Mastery Apprentice Program" on
CD/DVD.
Michael W. (The
Dating Wizard):
Years ago, back in 2003, when just like now, I was too
busy actually doing this stuff for real rather than worrying about
the marketing craziness that was going on around me by supposed
dating gurus, author
Neil Strauss
then wrote something to me on an internet dating forum a little
before the release of his bestselling book on pick-up artists,
called "The Game".
He said that he agreed with 95% of what I wrote on the forum but
that he disagreed with one thing- my belief in learning how to
trigger attraction in a woman using strictly wisdom and insights
into human feelings, into women, and into using your developed
identity, so that you can come up with fresh things to say on the
SPOT to a woman.
I believe that this way, you can be ready for ANYTHING with any
woman, rather than relying too much on pre-rehearsed lines or
routines, which was the all the rage with the pick-up artists and
this memorizing routines stuff is clearly promoted heavily in his
book.
He said:
"And, fact is, of all the people I've met (and I've met lots of
guys), the ones who are the most successful are the ones who say the
EXACT same things all the time. Why? Because they work."
Well, time has proven that in fact the TRUTH IS QUITE THE OPPOSITE.
I honestly don't think Neil meant any harm to anyone, he's probably
a cool guy who wrote what he honestly thought based on his limited
experiences of reality.
The guys who are the best with women, the true naturals, NEVER use
the exact same thing all the time with women. IN fact, this would
seem ABSURD and GEEKY as hell to them. Never mind the fact it would
make them feel FAKE.
This is a big thing to realize, because you see so much of success
has to do with what you are FEELING inside, and how the heck can you
be feeling charismatic, masculine, secure, witty, when you know that
you are relying on a TRICK????? When you REALLY feel like you are
hopeless on your own???
I teach guys to FISH for themselves, based on developing the best
parts of their own identities rather than memorizing anything
trivial.
This not only gives you a FRIGGEN' TOTALLY KICK-ASS edge in terms of
your feelings about your self, it also allows you to build long term
with a woman, because if you built everything on being fake, you
feel very weird about ever revealing your true identity to a woman
since you are not sure if she would find that cool.
I promise you that the guys who are most successful with women, not
only don't NEED to use and say the same things all the time, they
wouldn't even WANT to!!!!!!!!! It would be too boring! And the very
fact they enjoy having FUN is part of what MAKES them attractive to
women!!! Because states are catchy and being in a great fun and
relaxed state is SOMETHING THAT WOMEN WANT TO FEEL FOR THEMSELVES AS
WELL!!!
In fact, even the pick-up artists who used to say otherwise, well
they all now agree with me. If you don't believe me, ask them
yourself. I'm not afraid of the competition, in fact I suggest you
check them out yourself and I'll see you back here very soon. Read
between the lines of their hype.
And then find out who was saying this all along- it was me, and only
me. The only other guy on the planet against routines was a guy who
oversimplified the entire attraction process, who claimed all you
had to do was say "I like you". If you think saying "I like you" is
enough to get a non-drunk, and psychologically healthy, woman to
want to jump into bed with you, just try it. A woman needs to know
more than the fact you have the confidence to state your desire for
her and your intention. It's a good start, but not enough.
The belief in saying the exact same things to every woman you meet,
referred to the idea of you MEMORIZING routines and lines to say to
women, was clearly emphasized and promoted in the book called "The
Game" where these ideas were glamorized as having insane success
rates..
TONS of guys around the world started adopting this robotic
memorized approach to approaching women. I even had a few clients in
several cities where I did bootcamps who believed in this and didn't
want to take my advice, only to have their fantasy come crashing
down on them when the girls started saying they HAD HEARD these
lines before from tons of other guys. Only then were my clients
fully convinced of the insanity of trying to get a woman without
actually having developed your REAL self first.
Not only this, but also when a guy hears this from a girl, when he
has been "caught", his self esteem plummets, ruining his charisma.
Plus, he also feels, even he is lucky enough to happen to meet a
girl who hasn't heard the lines before, he feels that he is not
cool, it's only his LINE that was cool so he feels like a fake, like
he is not desirable, it's only his FAKE stolen ACT that was
desirable, and this in itself ruins his vibe and charisma and his
tonality and his body language, and his sense of humor loses all
hope.
And the great thing is that there is in the END no faking it. Sure
you can fake it for a bit, and you'll get some results, but for the
GREATEST success, you must ACTUALLY GIVE VALUE, and not just fake
it.
So the key is to first get into a specific combination of STATES,
that slightly depend and vary from situation to situation, but
definitely include playfulness, upbeatnes, sexuality, security, and
other states as well. Then on top of that it's important to ALSO
know a lot of important insights into female psychology and culture
so that you understand a bit about what's going on internally with
the woman you are chatting to.
I explain all of this in my materials and programs, but I'd like to
shed some insight into how this idea of STATES are so
important at EVERY point of the "game", from the first moment you
meet a woman till FOREVER.
There is no way that a robotic approach could possibly handle the
complexities of the way human emotions work.
Here's a fresh letter that has a situation that I can use to help
show the point:
***LETTER FROM A READER***
Michael, your eBook and Dating Spells emails are amazing! I'm
looking to buy the Seduction Mastery Apprenticeship CD Set in the
next few weeks too. You have uncovered something special here!!
I know this email is slightly long but even a brief answer would be
much appreciated!!!
Here's the deal, I've been reading all your material over and over
and although I've still got a lot to learn, I think you would be
proud of my progress. I now no longer experience feelings of
jealousy or insecurity, or if I do, not to the extent that it
becomes visible or effects my actions. You've helped me realize that
such feelings only exist in people who do not have enough self-worth
in the first place.
I now am SURE of everything about me, and any negative comment that
comes from a girl doesn't get to me at all, and you're right, girls
experience even more attraction when they see you're not affected by
their attempt to put you down!
Now I know you're not going to like reading this, but Michael, my
question is regarding my ex. We went out for 17months, have now been
apart for 4, I've experienced many other girls, started reading your
materials, and have developed significantly since we broke up (her
reason for ending was "i no longer feel attraction for you").
Last night we caught up and went to the movies (now normally, i know
the movies aren't the best but i asked her, as I really wanted to
see the film and was actually considering going with or without her
anyway), the movies went really well, we laughed, and connected
again, not once bringing up the relationship or our current sex
lives or anything like that. The entire night I was confident, in
control, and just enjoying the interaction, and not once kissing up
to her.
The thing is, i no longer need this girl Michael, all the neediness,
clinginess, jealousy I used to show her while we were going out is
GONE and I want to be with this girl again because of how much I
enjoy being around her.
So i went and bought a subway from next to where she works today
(she works at a butcher), and I came and visited her. I made sure
not to be needy, I really wanted that subway, it was lunchtime, and
again, I just wasn't dependent on the outcome, I know there's plenty
of good girls around, and so I was in exactly the right state.
When i approached her, she was surprised, and asked why i was there,
and I teased her, holding up my subway while saying she had really
good food shops near her. She laughed, and i then told her,
"besides, don't pretend like me visiting hasn't made your day", and
again she smiled.
Then the other butchers (young guys) out the back, saw us and began
teasing her too about us talking and she went immediately red, and
couldn't keep the smile off her > face. My problem is... I know we
can have so much fun together, I just feel she's reluctant to catch
up and give me that chance cos of what's happened to us in the past.
Michael believe me, I wouldn't waste my time or yours, this girl is
incredibly smart, gorgeous, fun to be with, she's the real deal, and
as my friends are all of her friends too, we're always going to be
seeing each other... what is my plan of attack?? I know how to be
the man... its almost happening instinctively now, but how do I get
to catch up with my ex and just have fun with her more and more,
w/out her being cautious and reluctant?!?
Regards,
Matthew H.
USA
>>>>MY RESPONSE<<<<
I hate to call this entire field a game, because the fact is,
whenever you are dealing with any emotions, it's never a game,
especially in a relationship situation which you had with this girl.
So I'm just using the word "game" since it might actually HELP you
realize that you are getting SO CAUGHT up in this situation that you
don't realize your EMOTIONS are actually PLAYING A GAME with you.
This entire "game" when it comes to success with a woman is about
EMOTIONS.
The reality is that you were doing DAMN WELL that first night you
reconnected with her at the movies, BECAUSE you WERE BEING IN A
GREAT STATE, "not once bringing up the relationship or our current
sex lives or anything like that. The entire night I was confident,
in control, and just enjoying the interaction, and not once kissing
up to her."
And since she already KNOWS you obviously STILL care about her, (or
why would you be back with her) you ALSO took care of her desire to
feel VALUED.
But, and here's the big BUT- you SANK BACK into the OCEAN of
TURMOILED EMOTIONS, you started getting SWEPT UP IN THE TWISTER OF
EMOTIONS THAT ARE YOUR LOVE FOR HER CONTRASTED WITH HOW SHE HURT
YOUR EMOTIONS SO BADLY BEFORE.
And this made you feel EXTREMELY NEEDY. So you did the MASSIVE
MISTAKE of ACTING UPON THAT NEEDINESS.
This is NOT your fault for FEELING these emotions, because when you
have a relationship with someone, the feelings can become so strong
that they become ANCHORED DEEP INTO OUR SUBCONSCIOUS and so just
SEEING HER again and BEING with her again totally screwed your
internal wiring.
The only thing that you DO have to take responsibility for is not
following my advice in the book about this, about not going back to
exes, no matter what unless YOU screwed it up by being a jerk and
you totally have changed now.
But I can already see that you were not a jerk.
So why did you go back to her?
And you know this, as you said in your own letter, that you knew I
was not going to like that move- you're right, I don't like it,
because I CARE ABOUT YOU and about ALL GOOD GUYS who go through HELL
with women. I wanted to spare you the pain.
So I don't say any of this with anger, I say it with the desire to
spare you one more ounce of pain.
Emotions make us feel that the emotion is more true than any fact.
So even though you know the fact is that going back to her the next
day was a bad move, your neediness for her made you feel that it was
the RIGHT MOVE, and you rationalized it as being the right move.
This entire game is about giving women awesome emotions. So how can
you give her awesome emotions when just SEEING her and being with
her triggers all those ANCHORED needy feelings in you?
I want to make it clear that I am totally not into GAME or tricks or
gimmicks.
The problem is NOT that you are interested in her. The problem is
that you are behaving in a way that stems from not feeling the value
in yourself.
That's why the movie thing with her was still okay. (Although I
still think you should not have gone back to an ex.) At the
beginning, you were still feeling all the rights states INSIDE of
you, but they were being PRESSURED like a submarine under a billion
tons of water, by the NEGATIVE ANCHORING of your relationship
history by her.
You see, there is no faking with women.
You simply end up showing who you really are by virtue of your body
language and tonality, and there is no body language trick in the
book that can solve it. Your end goal should always be how to
improve your state, and going to a woman who ripped your state to
shreds is ultimately a self-defeating move no matter what. Why are
you doing this? If you feel the NEED to prove it to yourself, then
you are actually proving to YOURSELF that you are still inferior to
her. And this very action is a form of "body language" that works
against your OWN psychology and ruins your own state and thus ruins
your body language and shows her that you are inferior.
It's OKAY and GOOD for a woman to know you like her, as long as it's
coming from a totally positive and secure place. BUT it's almost
impossible to feel this when you crawl back to a woman who
mistreated you - the very act of crawling back is sending a message
to YOUR brain that makes you feel inferior and thus ruins your
ability to FEEL charismatic and worthy and thus you end up not being
able to attract that woman.
So the problem is not with showing a woman you like her.
I mean, if showing a woman you are interested in her ruins things,
how do you explain the success of clients at my Bootcamps who are
having their arms around and kissing girls within minutes of meeting
them? Are these girls thinking that this is a sign of being NOT
interested in them??????????
If you REALLY felt your own value, you would have chilled out a bit
for a few days after enjoying the movie with her. (And at this
point, you WERE still in state, which is why it was all going well.
You were still resisting all the opposite emotions that were
CRUSHING into you, including not only the anchored emotions, but
also the very fact you were going back to her was having a slight
negative effect on your vibe and your self-concept --- you NEED to
get my CD set man to get this stuff sorted out, it will make a
MASSIVE difference)
You should have chilled out about her for a few days, and not gone
back the next day. If you felt massive value about yourself, you
would have wanted to let her chill out and come to a decision on her
own.
But since you felt so needy for her, (again, not your fault, because
you have these feelings anchored in you about her as a result of the
way the relationship ended) you felt UNWORTHY and subconsciously
felt that left to her own devices, she would NOT WANT to be with
you, so you felt the need to PUSH it.
And the irony of course is that this is what actually pushed her
farther away.
So the way to be the MAN now, is to LET go for at least a while and
definitely to go for other girls so you can get total emotional
perspective. That will make her less "cautious and reluctant".
And definitely get that CD Set, it will help you get the deeper
picture of what is going on here, not only on an academic level, but
on a level that actually HITS YOUR EMOTIONS, so that you NEVER make
this mistake again.
And if you are reading this right now and feeling finally AWOKEN to
CRUCIAL insights for your success with women, I assure you that this
is just the BEGINNING.
My SEDUCTION MASTERY APPRENTICESHIP PROGRAM is finally complete, and
will give you the FULL PICTURE.
This program is a quantum leap forward in the very way attraction is
thought of and mastered. Your understanding of every emotion that is
part of attraction, from humor to intrigue, to bonding, and much
more, as well as your understanding of how to TRIGGER all these
emotions of attraction, will be REVOLUTIONIZED.
And you can now own it and have it delivered right to you.
Just go to:
www.thedatingwizard.com/seductionmastery.htm
And if you have not yet read my revolutionary eBook, The Dating
Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, then do that immediately.
It's the DNA of attraction, and the foundation for understanding and
applying everything you learn in my programs.
Download this special eBook NOW at:
www.thedatingwizard.com/ebook.htm
Till next time,
Michael

Michael W, better known as The Dating Wizard, is a dating and
relationship consultant for men, as well as a frequent guest on radio
and television talk shows. Michael has spent over four years studying
the specific male behaviors that trigger attraction in women. His
findings are based on both his real life observations of men who are
successful with women, as well as his research on evolutionary
psychology and its applications to sexual attraction.
Torontonian Shows Men What Women Want
Toronto, Ont. Four years ago, Michael W reached the proverbial rock bottom with women.
Finding it almost impossible to meet women in the city who wanted to go
out with him, he faced the decision of whether to continue following the
traditional dating advice of the "experts", or to start his own approach
to the challenge. Armed with statistics on growing numbers of singles in the city, as well
as Toronto’s reputation amongst local men as difficult in this arena,
Michael knew he was not alone. Devouring hundreds of books on
relationships, he found that almost none of them focused on how to
actually meet women in the first place. And the few books available on
the topic of meeting women were from the 1970’s and had been rendered
obsolete by new social realities. Michael began researching evolutionary psychology and was struck by its
potential application to communicating with women. At the same time, he
started observing the men who were successful at meeting women, whether
it was in a club, a shop, or even on the street. Michael’s research and
his observations in real life confirmed his belief that women are very
much attracted to the ideal male archetype. As he learned from the men who actually succeeded in front of his own
eyes, Michael began taking copious notes on everything these men had to
say and demonstrate on how to approach women, dating, and relationships.
Putting the advice into action, Michael transformed his social life and
was soon being asked by friends how he had done it, and how they could
do it as well. After demonstrating to his friends the concepts he had learned, his
friends prompted him to write a book on the topic. The seed was then
planted for Michael’s company, The Dating Wizard. Offering consultations
by referral only, Michael began his mission of changing the way men
approach women and dating. Michael has recently completed his book, "The
Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women", detailing everything he
learned from his observations and experiences. He has been heard
nationwide, including on CFRB 1010's The John Oakley Show and on MOJO
Radio's Scruff Connors Nationwide. His advice to men? Forget everything you’ve ever been taught about women
since you were a kid. "Women don’t want a politically correct man, they
want a real man. You have to unlearn all the myths and behaviors that
are holding you back from success with women." To find out all about Michael, his book, and his consultation services,
check out
The Dating Wizard Website or call 416 630 9966.
This work is copyrighted by the author. No
unauthorized duplication or presentation allowed. Copyright © 2003-2008 The
Dating Wizard All Rights Reserved
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