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Michael W - The Dating Wizard: The Spell To Dating Success
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Welcome to "The Dating
Wizard's: Spell To Dating Success" article series.
This series of articles (below and listed on the right) are a small
part of the information contained in "The Secrets To Success With
Women" ebook and "The Seduction Mastery Apprentice Program" on
CD/DVD.
Michael W. (The
Dating Wizard):
One of the most important things to realize about success when it
comes to attracting the kind of woman you are interested in, is that
attraction is the result of MANY THINGS happening at ONCE.
As you develop and master these skills, what happens is that you
eventually integrate all the different components together in a
harmonious, smooth way. It all GELS together so that you are able to
see the connections between each concept and it all actually feels
very INSTINCTIVE. It feels as if you can't believe you ever thought
or felt differently before!
I wanted to mention that first, because some guys make the mistake
of taking ONE idea and not looking at it in the right context of how
it fits into the other ideas.
So what I want do right now is explain a few major concepts so that
you can work with them together.
ONE: GIVE HER WHAT SHE DOESN'T HAVE (OFTEN KNOWN AS GOOD SEXUAL
VIBES COMBINED WITH INTEGRITY)
Now, every girl is going to be a little different obviously in this
regard. But the key to remember is to give her what she doesn't
have, as this is what she wants.
So for example, let's say a woman has some trait, whether it's
physical or it has to do with her personality, and yet most guys
don't really appreciate this about her but you LOVE it, then believe
me, letting her know this is awesome, it will be appreciated.
You will NOT seem "needy" at all, as long as you CLEARLY are
comfortable escalating the interaction and leading the show.
A lot of what makes the massive difference between being charismatic
and being needy is not the words you say, but rather your tonality
and beliefs, because when you believe that you are GIVING pleasure,
your tonality takes on a totally different meaning than when you are
fishing for approval.
And, if you use the PLAYFUL stuff (another topic which overlaps with
this one) to HIT THIS POINT HOME, you will do it with flair. So for
example, let's say you meet a woman who felt neglected in terms of
being made to feel feminine. And you really do appreciate that part
of her. So you tell her that she should be put in a science museum
in a exhibit that includes her natural habitat, with the title
"WOMAN", and that you would be the curator and give lessons to kids,
and then you'd kick the kids out so you can feed the exhibit, this
is FUNNY, it's ballsy, it's sexual, it's playful, it's cool. It
would depend a bit on the girl of course, which is where calibration
comes in, but you get the idea.
Also, in a different vein, many times, the FEW guys who have any
coolness in them at all are also liars and dishonest and
manipulative. (These guys usually have insecurity issues but mask
them for a while.)
So imagine how refreshing it is for a girl to meet a guy who is cool
and who is REALLY UPFRONT.
She doesn't GET that a lot.
By being a guy who is both charismatic AND who has integrity, you
are giving her what she DOESN'T have.
So for example, I never pretend to a girl that I am not extremely
sexual. I don't even PRETEND to be a "nice" guy. At the same time, I
don't try to act like a "player" whose goal is to simply bed as many
women as possible and who doesn't care about relationships. Because,
I'm not a player. I don't care about notches on my bedpost. I know a
thing or two about the power of a great connection.
I am TOTALLY UPFRONT ABOUT BEING THE REAL ME.
So, for example, if you like a girl, then it's totally FINE if she
KNOWS it.
Let her know it.
If you're feeling sexual about a girl, she should KNOW it. You can
be totally playful yet totally honest about this. i.e. Playfully
tell her that you're a pervert, a jerk, yet totally honest,
sometimes deep and wise, and other times your brain is OFF and all
you want to do is play. I'll also let a girl know that my moral
compass is never off and that, to me, trust is and mutual respect
are KEY.
I set the frame IMMEDIATELY so it's clear what's going on.
This way, you also SCREEN OUT the girls who don't have a sense of
humor, you SCREEN out the girls who aren't genuine.
You also SCREEN OUT the girls who have emotional issues with GIVING,
because you see right away if the girl can or cannot appreciate your
ability to give and lead the way in this manner.
Some people have a need to play games all the time to try to get
"the upper hand" but wise people know that the only way to get any
"upper hand" is for both people to not be afraid to GIVE AND GIVE.
Otherwise, it's a time bomb till someone gets fed up.
They also know this because they know the JOY of giving as WELL as
taking. So in these situations, there is both a lot of giving and
taking, and it's not "work", it's honestly damn FUN.
A lot of guys wonder why they don't ever get beyond being "friends"
and it's because by being so non-sexual for so long, it makes the
whole sexual stuff very awkward for her. So if YOU take the "fall"
for being the sexual animal first, you help her feel comfortable
since after all, it's you who is the "bad" guy and not her. You are
the "bad" guy in a very GOOD sense though. You've made it so that
she doesn't have to feel like she was not "classy", since it was YOU
who led the way to the sexual stuff.
This has to do with culture and the way women are conditioned. Most
guys don't understand this, they don't understand that women
psychologically are CONDITIONED in a certain way so that if you want
a pickup to work, they NEED you to do it ONLY in a certain way or
they will feel BAD about the whole pick-up and thus shut it down
before it even starts.
A lot of guys either fall into the category of being non-sexual or
they fall into the category of being a "player", both of which are
not really cool anyway. Women can easily find both of those types of
guys, they certainly aren't on the search for those kinds of guys.
What women DON'T get a lot of, are guys who are cool, who understand
women, and who ALSO have integrity.
This leads to...
TWO: BEING SEXUAL EVEN IN THE INITIAL PICK-UP
It's interesting, because a woman on one hand does not want to be
with a guy who kisses her butt, but that does NOT mean she doesn't
TRULY DESIRE a guy who will APPRECIATE HER in a very sexual way.
Too many guys AVOID the sexual vibes because they think that women
get too much of this and that therefore doing this is some form of
kissing up to her.
But I'm telling you that it ISN'T.
Being sexual with a woman from the moment you meet her in the
pick-up is KEY. It's the whole POINT in many ways, otherwise you'd
be talking to a GUY not a GIRL!
Don't OVERDO it, but definitely it should be VERY MUCH IN THE VIBE
from the get go. Whether it's the playful sexual double entendres in
the conversation to to the LOOK you give her, it's KEY.
Getting this done to the right degree is a matter of CALIBRATION,
and this is where the beginner needs the most work. Calibrating
things properly is what often makes the difference between a woman
being MELTED in your presence vs being BORED and giving you just a
polite answer and then leaving.
THREE: TOTAL COMFORT
A lot of guys have the wrong notion of what women want when they
hear that women want a guy who is "confident". Guys tend to think of
confidence as being some type of EXTREME behavior.
In REALITY, the KEY behind the word confidence, when it comes to
women, is your COMFORT level with them.
So instead of trying to do something OVER THE TOP as your display of
confidence, you will show a lot more value and class and confidence
by instead becoming VERY DAMN COMFORTABLE with women.
So that you can gaze in her eyes calmly.
So that you can make contact.
So that you smoothly steal a kiss rather than "ask" for one.
I think this is where a lot of guys also make the mistake when they
tease women. They think it's a greater sign of confidence to be
NASTY OR MEAN.
Instead, a PROPER PLAYFUL TEASE is actually FUNNY without being mean
at all. It's the way you would be playful with a friend who you
RESPECTED. A tease is NOT about some kind of sugar coated put-down,
contrary to some "experts" who are all about "smashing a woman's
ego". If you have to "smash a woman's ego" to get her attention, she
is BAD news no matter what. And if being nasty is the only way a guy
can get a woman's attention, he has very weak "game."
By the way, my rule of thumb on teasing a woman is, if she can
possibly mistake your tease for being something TRUE, then you
should NOT do it.
So if the girl you meet or your girlfriend is a real nerd, then
telling her she doesn't even know where Jupiter is and she's a
disgrace to nerds everywhere is FUNNY. Because she knows she is
smart in that way.
But if she did HORRIBLE at school and you were to make fun of her
academics, that would be cruel.
If a girl is really sporty and she does something stupid in the gym,
and you bust on her for that, it's funny. She knows you are not
serious.
If a girl is or was anorexic, or bulimic, etc, then teasing her on
her looks, even if she is a supermodel, is NOT funny.
Bottom line is that I see a lot of guys trying to be cute and funny
but end up pissing off a lot of women all due to NOT CALIBRATING
properly.
At the same time, with proper calibration, you can do great stuff.
But you have to be TOTALLY COMFORTABLE, which takes a lot of
practice for most guys till they get desensitized to the pressure of
looking straight into the eyes of a woman who they feel is hot.
When you really comfortable, you'll be able to do all kinds of
playful stuff ON THE SPUR of the moment, without thinking about it.
Like telling a girl with glasses, as she takes them off, "Don't
worry, I won't tell anyone who you really are, mild mannered
reporter by day, superhero by night."
FOUR: FLIP THINGS AROUND TO THE FUN SIDE
Many times, you might be meeting a woman (and this applies also if
you are in a relationship) who is a great personality but just had a
bit of a crazy day. As a great personality, she takes responsibility
for her emotions and is trying to be upbeat, but also is telling you
about her crazy boss or whatever.
So, what you want to do is help this cool person GET FULLY BACK INTO
A GOOD STATE.
This is not about being all deep and analytical, it's about changing
her STATE.
So, if you can get her LAUGHING, it's all good again. ESPECIALLY if
you can do this in a way that shows you CARE at the same time.
So, for example, you might say:
"Lets go beat him up."
And if she says it's a her, not a him, say "let's go beat her up".
It sounds SILLY, right?
But it's NOT, this is actually smart stuff. You're getting her
laughing, you're showing her you're on her side, and you're being
dominant, all at once.
You can take this on and on and say "I've got Grouch Marx disguises
so we can be videotaped by her security as we beat her up and then
we can make out after on camera, complete with the masks on."
FIVE: SOMETIMES, GIVE HER SOME OF THE "POWER"
What I mean by this is that if you are THE MAN, and doing the things
I explain, it will always be clear, and she will never forget that.
Which means that you can ALSO validate her by letting her know just
how HOT she is, and how much you like her in other ways as well .
By the way, it takes CONFIDENCE in yourself to be able to give as
well. It also shows you believe enough in yourself that others will
see the value in you too.
The key is to know WHEN she will be most HOT for this, and it's
important that what you say comes from a GENUINE place inside. Why
fake for? If you are not really feeling it for a girl, then don't be
with her.
The key here is to have FLAIR. So for example, if she is dressing
really hot for you, and you tell her that if you saw her while you
were standing on top of a building and that seeing her in her
panties and bra would make you fall off the top and you wouldn't
even notice hitting the pavement, that's both FUNNY and also it's a
really cool thing to let a girl know, if she has EARNED your
affection. Your point makes more IMPACT when delivered with
something that give her EMOTION. So humor in this case is the
emotion. But humor is ONE cool emotion, there are many other cool
emotions that can be used as well.
SIX: DROP NEGATIVE EMOTIONS FROM YOUR MATRIX
So often, we let NEGATIVE emotions DISTORT our PERSPECTIVE, our very
judgment of a situation. And this makes us feel INSECURE, which
causes us to react in a very "fight or flight" emergency response,
that usually is about confrontation.
The source of the negative emotion doesn't matter, you might think
she is the source you might think the source was something that
happened in traffic, but the point is, when in a negative state, you
will see EVIL everywhere, including in the woman you are chatting
with. This can cause you to do all sorts of stupid stuff that you
will regret.
It's not easy, but if you RECOGNIZE that you are feeling a negative
emotion, see if you can LET THE NEGATIVE EMOTION GO. Do whatever you
need to do, talk to a positive friend, go work out, whatever, but at
the very LEAST, do not ACT on your negative emotion.
Very often, 24 hours later, you will then see, because the negative
emotion is gone, you will then see how the REALITY was not even what
you THOUGHT it was. Had you acted on the negativity, you would have
caused a big deal of an argument for nothing.
SEVEN: DON'T CONFUSE NEEDINESS WITH FREQUENCY
A lot of guys hear advice about not being needy for a woman. So then
they end up finally meeting a woman and doing all sorts of dumb
things, like waiting two weeks before calling her after they get her
number, or once they are seeing each other, he makes sure to be
"scarce" all the time, all because he doesn't want to look NEEDY.
But the thing is, NEEDINESS is desperation. But two people BEING
with each other a lot because they ENJOY each other is NOT needy.
A lot of people think that their value will go DOWN if they are
"available". But the thing is, if a woman is having a BLAST each
time she is with you, your value only goes UP. It's the same with
HER value to YOU. If you are having a great time every time she is
with you, her value goes UP. You realize more and more how PRECIOUS
the connection the connection that you both have actually is.
And the irony is that if you are so worried all the time about
appearing needy, then the time you spend with her will be AWKWARD
and stilted, TOTALLY RUINING THE VIBES and weakening your
personality.
When you both have a great time together, you are not "DEPLETING"
the emotions she has for you, you are BUILDING THEM UP. You are both
being ENERGIZED, not exhausted.
So as long as you are both having a great time, stop worrying about
creating endless artificial constraints.
In fact, by having a lot of great times with each other, you may
very well be creating a MASSIVELY POWERFUL CONNECTION that makes you
BOTH feel MORE ATTRACTION, more TRUST, more LUST, more EVERYTHING
for each other.
And if YOU would like to attain MASTERY level expertise in the area
of seduction, then I seriously suggest you get my:
SEDUCTION MASTERY APPRENTICESHIP PROGRAM CD SET
This project was the result of an OBSESSION. It consumed my life for
over three YEARS, and this was AFTER I already had figured out a lot
of crucial stuff about attraction. But I knew there was MORE, a
DEEPER level. This project takes the human understanding of
sexuality, attraction, and seduction to a whole new level.
It's at:
www.thedatingwizard.com/seductionmastery.htm
If you haven't yet downloaded my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets
to Success with Women, then do that now. This book forms the
foundation before moving on to my advanced programs, and is
especially important if you suspect you may be a "nice guy".

It's at:
www.thedatingwizard.com/ebook.htm
Till next time,
Michael
PS. If you want more
information before purchasing any of my products (they come with the
best personal guarantee of any ebook and CD material available
online!) visit my website here:
www.thedatingwizard.com
Michael W, better known as The Dating Wizard, is a dating and
relationship consultant for men, as well as a frequent guest on radio
and television talk shows. Michael has spent over four years studying
the specific male behaviors that trigger attraction in women. His
findings are based on both his real life observations of men who are
successful with women, as well as his research on evolutionary
psychology and its applications to sexual attraction.
This work is copyrighted by the author. No
unauthorized duplication or presentation allowed. Copyright © 2003-2008 The
Dating Wizard All Rights Reserved
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