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Michael W - The Dating
Wizard: The Spell To Dating Success
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The Dating Wizard Website One of the great
paradoxes of being successful at the various stages of meeting a new
woman is that on one hand, you don’t want to create RESISTANCE by
TRYING too hard, and on the other hand, the only way to get ahead is
to LEAD the show. Women don’t want guys who need the WOMAN to lead
them. This just plain turns women off BIG TIME, and who could blame
them?
Women want MEN, they want LEADERS. Being dominant and leading is SEXY
in a man.
Not only is it SEXY, but also, if a man does NOT lead her from
meeting, to getting physical, etc, what he is implying is that SHE
must lead him to sex, and that just plain DOES NOT GO well with women.
Women tend to like to have feelings of SPONTANEITY regarding sex- this
makes them feel like “it just happened” and thus they are not guilty
for it. Yup, many women still have a lot of socially-induced guilt
when it comes to this arena.
The more you LEAD the show in a SMOOTH manner, where one thing just
seems to lead to the next, the more a woman will feel it was “not her
fault” and that it was “spontaneous” and “just happened”. But as soon
as a woman has to actually make DECISIONS and be too conscious of what
is going on and she has to LEAD the show, she tends to SHUT THE SHOW
DOWN.
Again, it’s because women feel kind of guilty about being the ones to
DIRECTLY lead things to sex, they prefer to be indirect about it, or
even better, completely passive until sex actually begins.
So much for the women’s movement, it basically has resulted in women
SHIRKING sexual responsibility, not taking more.
Anyway, let’s get back to our main point:
So how do you LEAD things and take things to each next level WITHOUT
coming across as being pushy, desperate, creepy, or “coming on too
strong”?
The answer is to look at the whole dynamic of meeting a woman as a
journey over several streets with several traffic lights. The only
difference is that these traffic lights are affected by both YOU and
HER.
Now, if you want to meet a real quality woman, there are going to be
more red lights along the way. She is going to be more cautious about
allowing things to proceed from one traffic light to the next. It’s
going to take a quality guy to get her light to go to green.
With other women, you will have a lot more greens right off the bat.
Some guys call these women promiscuous. Well, I try to reserve
judgment here, but if you go for these women, just be EXTRA EXTRA
careful to wear a condom. (you should always wear one anyway)
But EITHER way, regardless of what woman you are dealing with, unless
the light is green, nothing is going to happen, and trying to force
things of course will only make things worse. The thing is, there are
things that you can do to help make that light turn green.
Now, here’s what is
crucial to remember:
1. If you try to go on a red, you can make an ass of yourself.
2. But what’s even worse, is that if you DON’T GO on a GREEN, you have
just SCREWED yourself with that woman, and NOT in a GOOD way, unless
you actually did NOT want her to begin with, which happens sometimes.
I’ll get more into this later below.
Okay, so let’s start
at the beginning of the
journey. You see a woman you’d like
to approach. This is called APPROACH
STREET. Think of this as an amber
light, (for any folks where there is no
amber, here in North America, this
yellow light means slow down, the light
is turning red). The light is neither green
nor red.
If you stand around for a long time doing
NOTHING, especially standing around just
looking at her, she will sense it and her light
will turn to a very strong RED.
So you must approach her.
THAT is leading.
Don’t wait for her to bat her eyes at you,
for her to walk by you, for her to smile
at you etc. She might do these things,
but don’t wait for it, or you fall into
making HER the leader, and you know
what that means. It means NO FUTURE
with her.
Okay, so you approach her.
You now must convey that you are a
cool guy. So you open her up with some
fun playful chat, or something intriguing,
but not something too strong or WEIRD.
You don’t kiss up, you don’t get too serious, etc.
The whole approach is actually a HUGE topic to itself,
but the point is, as you do this, you must pay attention
to the color of the light.
Is she smiling a lot?
Is she touching you?
Is she engaging you seriously in the conversation?
Is she playfully going along with your frame?
If yes, well then, you now have a GREEN LIGHT
to move to “Getting To Know You Street”.
Not a green light for Sex Street, in case anyone
thought that. And even THINKING that
way, thinking that you should jump for
the opportunity for sex, is not the way of
THE MAN.
Why would you be so quick to have sex
with a woman who has just started showing
legitimate interest in you? Typically, only
guys that perceive themselves as having
LOW VALUE act this way. Kind of like
accepting the first job offer that comes
your way- have some more faith in your
abilities before selling YOURSELF out
so fast. Only if you think lowly of your
worth would you jump so fast, right?
If you jump so fast with a woman who
has just given you her first green light,
you will make her not only feel you
have no idea about women, but that
you are desperate.
The first green light is typically a green
light to the NEXT LEVEL, which is
basically getting to know her more.
If you are in a bookstore, this might
mean suggesting you carry on the
conversation at the coffee shop nearby.
If at a 7-11 on a hot summer day, it might
mean a walk and chatting some more.
If at a club, it might mean walking to find
a quieter area where you can sit down and
chat. If none of this is possible, you might
have to just get her number and continue
the green light journey to the next level
LATER.
But the thing is, a lot of guys simply EJECT
for no good reason, even though there was
a green light. They either feel self-conscious,
or don’t know what to say, etc. If you feel
self-conscious or don’t know what to say,
there is nothing wrong with actually having
some prepared fun stuff to chat about.
Again, this is a huge topic in itself, the point
here though is to realize that this is a STAGE.
If a guy does not proceed to escalate when the
green light was there, if the guy leaves, he
may never see the woman again. Plus, she
won’t be too impressed unless it was clear
he left because he WANTED to leave.
Now, as the journey continues to each successive
level, it becomes even MORE important to escalate to
the next level, to proceed while the green light is ON
before it turns to RED.
So for example, if you ejected at the club
at the first green light of i.e. as you were
first chatting with her but then somehow
felt you ran out of things to say, she might still
see you later and give you a cue like a smile
to let you know you should not be a dork
and that you should chat her up some more.
This is if no one else came by who caught
her attention and did not eject on her.
But if you eject at the NEXT stage, when
the green light was on, let’s say the next
stage for is that you took her to a quieter area
of the club to chat, and then you EJECTED
while she was still receptive, a la she was
smiling and touching you, and thus gave
you the green light to go the NEXT level,
but you didn’t take advantage of it, she will
be more upset and disappointed than if you
had ejected at the far earlier stages and
green lights.
This is because she psychologically invested
more in the interaction and journey and now
she wants to get to her destination. Like if you
traveled halfway or more to your desired destination,
you would seriously want to GET there already.
THIS is the answer to the mystery of why
you might see a chick who you chatted
up a lot and was getting along with GREAT,
and if you for some reason left, some
other guys swoops in and takes off RIGHT
where you left things without doing an
ounce of work for it. And she seems to
be REALLY into him!
See, she wants to GET what she feels
she EARNED with you so badly and
anticipated would feel so good.
SHE IS ALREADY ON THAT STREET
CALLED “I WANT TO GET TO KNOW
YOU A LITTLE MORE THAN JUST
CHAT STREET”.
It’s all to do with what she was getting ready
psychologically to enjoy- she was getting ready
to enjoy the NEXT STEP, and you didn’t give
it to her. So now, she is going to GET the next step
if it’s the last thing on earth she will do!!!
You see, at the moment this occurs, HER
STATE OF MIND is far more important
than WHO she is with.
In fact, if you think about it, when you
meet a woman and make her feel attraction,
what you have really done is gotten her
into a certain STATE that feels damn good.
This is similar to how if you are at the
store to buy some stuff and you are in
a certain good mood, you will sometimes
buy all kinds of other stuff that the clerk
shows you because all your mind can
think now is BUYING IS GOOD.
It’s just the PSYCHOLOGICAL FRAME
you are in of wanting or needing things.
That’s why the cashier asks you “anything else”?
That’s because the owners know that you might
already be in the RIGHT STATE OF MIND, you
are already in the mood, and it doesn’t matter so
much WHAT the product is anymore!!!!!!!!
By the time you realize you didn’t want it,
it’s often too late, just like by the time
the girl finds out the guy was a dumbass,
it’s often too late! He already got what
he wanted!
This is how some morons get far with women
by the way, they just happen to accidentally take
advantage of other guys’ mistakes. Basically,
they fall upon a woman who is already
psychologically at an advanced stage of
the seduction.
Now, the bottom line is that if you DON’T see
any signs of the green light, you simply DON’T
escalate. There are many ways to see if the light
is green. For example, let’s say I am at “stage
two” with a woman, chatting her up at a coffee
place or in a quieter area of the club. I might
come in playfully, closer, WITHOUT kissing
her and judging by her facial expression, her
eyes, her breathing, her relaxed state, I already
know I can kiss her.
There are MANY ways to test to see if the light
is green or not, by the way. The above is just
ONE example.
If the light is NOT green, you simply DON’T
escalate until it IS.
If you DO try to escalate when it’s red, you can
create resistance and creepy vibes.
If you DON’T escalate when the light is green,
she thinks you’re playing games with her or she
just gets PLAIN OLD FRUSTRATED.
This is REALLY TRUE at the FINAL STAGES,
or “Final Traffic Lights” stages.
In other words, if a woman REALLY
REALLY WANTS SEX and you
DON’T GIVE IT TO HER, she will
get ANGRY.
Can’t really blame a woman for that either,
can you? All she wants is sex now, and
here the guy is yapping away - he might as
well be singing nursery rhymes –
“London Bridge is falling down, falling down,
falling down la-de-da.” It’s that absurd.
There’s a time when chatting is definitely over-rated.
With some women, you will notice that
the lights go from one green to the
next pretty damn fast. If you haven’t
witnessed this before, you might feel
the PRESSURE to take advantage of it.
But the fact of the matter is that you
don’t HAVE to do anything!
As THE MAN, you also reserve the right to
NOT have sex with a woman, and what is
interesting is that sometimes although this
will make a woman angry, she might end up
being even more attracted to you.
It all depends on the FRAME you have set,
the AURA you are exuding.
Is it clear that you are not having sex because
you don’t feel she has EARNED it, or because
you are CLUELESS as to how things work?
One way demonstrates superior value, the
other demonstrates inferior value.
But if you ARE interested in taking things
to a physical level, you MUST realize
that it is going to be YOU who leads
or NOTHING WILL HAPPEN.
Many nice guys simply don’t get this.
They don’t want to do something
“disrespectful” by escalating. In fact,
women find it REPULSIVE if you
DON’T know how to escalate.
Again, remember how this ties in to both
the female socially induced guilt complex,
and also the fact that it is sexy and masculine
when the guy is LEADING, okay?
So if you REALLY don’t want to offend a woman,
and if you REALLY want to attract her, then
START LEADING HER, INTELLIGENTLY,
because NOT DOING SO is what offends
her the MOST.
 I explain all of this stuff in detail in my book, The Dating Wizard:
Secrets to Success with Women. it’s jam packed not only with the specifics
of what to do to approach women and bridge into getting physical, but also
with how to get into the right mind frame and keep your mind that way.
Remember, the greatest gift you can give a woman is the feeling of POWER
that you will resonate as THE MAN. And that’s all in the brain, so watch
what you feed it.
You can download the book right now and be reading it in just a few
minutes.
Go to:
The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women book page
Till next time,
Michael W.
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