Michael W - The Dating Wizard: The Spell To Dating Success
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- Go beyond rote line memorization and understand the difference of dating and of being "The Man" when it comes to seducing women.
Michael W: One of the worst tortures that any man can go through on earth is being obsessed with one woman who doesn't seem to understand him, love him, or want him.
Not only is it torturous, but that very feeling destroys his sense of confidence, and robs him of his charisma and sense of humor, not only with her, but will ALL women, which makes his results even worse, which then makes him feel even worse, and so on.
So what I'd like to do today is help any man reading this to stop the insanity that he is doing to himself and to stop the pain and the suffering.
Meanwhile, the jerks always think they are great and that they are the prize, etc.
So, anytime you feel yourself obsessing over ONE woman, I want you to take notice of the following things:
1.
How much time have you REALLY spent with OTHER women lately?
2.
How much time have you been FANTASIZING about how GREAT and PERFECT things would be if you just had HER?
3.
How much ACTION have you actually took to meet OTHER women?
These three actions form a "perfect storm" of DISASTER to your emotions.
See, what happens is that rather than living in the REALITY of having to take ACTION to meet other women, it's much easier (even though it's also simultaneously PAINFUL) to fantasize about some dream concept with some woman who you aren't actually WITH.
See, the mind is a very interesting thing:
Given the choice to think about a perfect fantasy or having to pursue something in reality, it will ALWAYS choose fantasy, because no matter how awesome a REALITY is, it can NEVER match the fantasy that YOU YOURSELF have created in your OWN mind.
It's the perfect fantasy because you created it.
So let's say you are obsessed with one woman, whether it's a woman who you've had to divorce, a woman who you love who has never loved you back, or any other woman, 99 per cent of the time the PAIN comes from the CONTRAST of FANTASIZING about how AWESOME things "could" be, and then comparing that to your reality.
And of course, since you haven't been working on CHANGING that reality, that reality currently feels PARTICULARLY bad.
Presto- this creates the emotion known as NEEDINESS.
You now don't just LIKE a particular woman, you now NEED HER for dear life.
And it really makes me sick how so many of the BEST MEN ON EARTH are the ones who make themselves suffer so much, it's because they aren't arrogant and they allow themselves to give a little TOO MUCH credit to a woman who really hasn't earned it.
This to me, is not really nice, it's kind of a nice that comes from not KNOWING the reality of their own value and from distorting the value of someone else and inflating it.
So the key is to first become AWARE of what you are doing- you are comparing something that is not even REAL, something that exists only in your mind, i.e. how PERFECT things would be if you just HAD this woman, with what life would be like if you took action in real life with some other women.
The REAL LIFE can't match or compare. And the longer you allow yourself to stay obsessed, the MORE you brainwash yourself into thinking and FEELING that the things you've projected onto a woman are indeed TRUE and FACTUAL.
See, humans aren't very good at determining REALITY, they think that their EMOTIONS are always good indicators of TRUTH, and though sometimes they are, they also sometimes are TOTALLY WRONG.
So if you allow yourself to follow your emotions of pining or obsessing for some woman who hasn't done much to EARN that, you will brainwash yourself into thinking she HAS earned it, as if you are so low on the scale of value that she is so awesome in comparison, or you'll brainwash yourself of her value in some other way, you'll actually convince yourself that she really IS from a logical point of view "worth it", when in reality this is known as backwards rationalizing, or "cognitive dissonance".
By the way, almost EVERYONE brainwashes themselves, and it's almost never a good thing. For example, some women are emotionally irresponsible and they attribute the cause of their negative emotions to everyone except themselves.
If you want a quality woman in your life, you'd be best warned to watch out for a woman who sees herself as a victim of everything.
The reality is that while some human beings manage to barely walk away from an oven in a concentration camp as a child and still grow up emotionally stable, other people will cry like the world is ending because ten years ago their mom didn't buy them a CHOCOLATE CAKE for their birthday.
Other people will blame the fact that they weren't allowed to eat junk food as kid for why they need to cheat on their spouse or partner.
The bottom line is, it's not really your CIRCUMSTANCES, it's your ATTITUDE that determines the meaning of those circumstances.
But if you let your emotions RULE YOU rather than YOU ruling your EMOTIONS, your emotions will pretend they are your friend, and they will make you think that indeed everything else in life is what is bringing you down, but that it's not your responsibility at all.
If you are looking for a great woman, then be on the lookout for how consistent she is in being in a positive frame of mind, and also be on the lookout to see how consistent she is with maintaining a sense of moral fairness, i.e. does she bump ahead of other people in line? Does she jump to conclusions about things? Is the rational or is she usually basing her decisions on whatever emotion she's feeling in the moment?
Does she insist on using condoms?
Or does she go base things on a "feeling"???
Does she work hard or does she "feel" no work is inspiring or worth doing?
So, don't think that it's just you who must do this battle to conquer emotions when they can cloud your thinking, it's everyone, but if you want to get rid of NEEDINESS, then just start to notice how the needy feeling you have for a woman is always accompanied by a tendency to NOT STAY IN THE REAL WORLD, and to instead fantasize about some made up concept of how awesome life would be if you "just" had this woman.
This type of thinking will actually prevent you from ever GETTING a great woman, because a great woman has got her emotions under control and would expect that you as a MAN should FOR SURE have his.
Mind you, great men and great women are EXTREMELY RARE.
But once you develop yourself to get into that category, you suddenly start to find them very easily, because you know how to immediately detect one when you've found one. The difference between her and other women and in fact between her and most other PEOPLE, is MASSIVE.
Getting control over your neediness is so important, that if you don't, you won't notice the very REAL things that a woman will be doing to you including things that are not cool at all. So for example, a woman who you've allowed yourself to feel too much emotion for and she hasn't earned it, you will become BLIND to the fact she is not 100% faithful, i.e. she is too flirty with all kinds of guys be it on facebook, twitter, or anywhere else, or the fact she is actually a hypocrite, i.e. many women love to talk about peace and love and not judging others, but the moment you happen to do something that is not her way, she will absolutely judge you, and she won't understand you.
But NEEDINESS in your soul will find A MILLION EXCUSES for it.
This is the thing, as a great man, you have to have the POTENTIAL WARMTH to unleash in a woman who DESERVES it, but you also have to have the potential COLDNESS of a "jerk" to shut off your emotions so that you don't become weak and make the wrong decisions to pursue the wrong woman or to tolerate LOW STANDARDS OF BEHAVIOR.
The moment you find yourself getting EMOTIONALLY WEAK, go jump in a COLD SHOWER for an instant!
It will WAKE YOU UP OUT OF THE SPELL!
So the lesson for today is to become AWARE of the FALLACY of creating fantasies in your mind based on zero evidence, and becoming AWARE of how this FICTION then robs you of the desire to actually take action in the REAL WORLD, which is less than perfect, but still pretty damn AWESOME, because it's actually REAL.
A real woman, beautiful and with a great personality but who is not perfect, is much better than the DISTORTED concept of PERFECTION that you've created in your mind of some particular woman.
Take that FIRST STEP today by actually CHALLENGING your emotions for EVIDENCE.
So, if you are feeling NEEDY for a woman, demand REAL EVIDENCE for why she is so great. And make sure you are calm when you are doing this, because if you do it when needy, you'll CREATE LIES that you will believe to back up your emotions.
Also, if you are feeling FEAR of approaching a woman, DEMAND REAL EVIDENCE.
You know that FEAR is just:
F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal
Getting your inner game is MASSIVELY IMPORTANT. Don't wake up after ten years to find out you've been allowing your emotions to brainwash you and hold you back with women and with life.
If you want to take your INNER GAME and confidence as well as your insights about how to approach women, get dates, get physical, and have a fantastic relationship, then you need to download my book here.
And I'll see you again soon.
Sincerely,
Michael
"The Dating Wizard's: Spell To Dating Success" article series. When you are able to accept that a woman might potentially not like you, you are then able to let go of being overly concerned with this fear.
This series of articles (listed here) are a small part of the information contained in "The Secrets To Success With Women (more info)" ebook and "The Seduction Mastery Apprentice Program (more info)" on CD/DVD.
