Michael W - The Dating Wizard: The Spell To Dating Success
Read more about The Dating Wizard here
- Go beyond rote line memorization and understand the difference of dating and of being "The Man" when it comes to seducing women.
Michael W: During the pickup women already know you're interested. So why can't you move past your opener and close the deal?
I'm sure you've heard of the idea that women "test" men. Maybe you've seen it or experienced it yourself. Have you ever felt the frustration of knowing that you just "failed" a woman's "test"? Where you tolerated bad behavior, or where you over-reacted to something, and thus somehow showed "weakness" and it only made her behavior WORSE.
Or maybe it was during a pickup, where a woman tested you, i.e. she said "do you do talk to all women in the mall?" and you melted and started acting apologetic, etc. and it just made her LESS interested, whereas if you had just not reacted it would have been far better for you.
Well, I have great news for you. There is a way to PREVENT a LOT of these tests.
The way to prevent women from testing you is to make it absolutely clear what you are all about from the GET-GO.
The only reason women test men is because they want to KNOW things about you. A woman will test a man when she is not clear about him, when she doesn't know him well, etc.
But the more CLEAR you are about who you are, the LESS a woman will need or even want to test you.
Most guys give women very UNCLEAR messages.
For example, in an approach, a guy will try to MASK the fact he is interested, so for example he will sit at the table next to a woman for a long time, and then try to find a "subtle" way to get near her, as if it was just coincidence and had nothing to do with his interest in her.
In these situations, a woman already KNOWS the guy is interested, so now she is wondering why is he hiding his interest? Is it because he's shy? Is it because he has something to hide? Is he married and trying to cheat?
Is he some player who thinks this is a cool "tactic"?
So now she is losing TRUST for him. And it's no surprise that she now starts to test him with all kinds of things to see if he is trustworthy and emotionally stable. She may try to see if he is a player by accusing him of being one and seeing his reaction. If he gets all defensive, then for sure he has something to hide (at least this is what she thinks.) If he treats that question too lightly if she is asking it with a genuine serious expression on her face, then again she may feel lack of trust.
If she thinks he is doing it because he is shy, she may then test him to see if he has any GUTS, or if he has GUTS plus the ability to smoothly DEAL with CONFLICT.
And yet, had he just approached her calmly and began a conversation about something that was interesting to HIM that she could also UNDERSTAND, she now ALREADY sees that this is a guy who is not shy, and who is not hiding things. And if what he is talking about is COMPELLING and reveals things about his own character, she now knows something about his PERSONALITY.
So, for example, in a card store, if a woman is buying a card for her father (which is obvious by the section called "Birthdays - Dad" and is looking at every single card and really trying to find the right one, and a guy sees this and approaches her straight up and tells her it looks like she is really trying to find the right one, and then she tells him how she is really trying to decide between two or three great choices, the guy might then say:
"It seems like you care a lot, and that's a great sign, as girls who have good relationships with their dad usually are great girls".
This would be an EXCELLENT way to give her a compliment that is MEANINGFUL.
And it's also a chance to find out if it's true, as she can then tell you if it's true, and if it is, your compliment has now shown something about YOURSELF as well, as you clearly VALUE these types of family relationships (even if you might not have had the luck of having a great family/parent relationship yourself) you are showing you are not just another CHEESE BALL "pick up artist".
I usually try to AVOID mentioning any actual specifics, because I know that some cheesy guys will just end up using this as some way to fake a real personality, but I make the occasional exception so that the point can be illustrated clearly.
By being direct, you show you have nothing to hide and that you believe in yourself. Then, by not only being direct but also having your OWN VALUES WORKED OUT CLEARLY IN YOUR OWN MIND, you have a lot to offer in terms of comments, for all kinds of situations, whether you see a woman at the book store, the club, the fair, the amusement park, the bank, the bus, or anywhere else.
Yes, women test men, but men test women as well, and the point is that if a woman is testing you ALL THE TIME, then either you are with a woman who has serious issues OR you are giving her MANY REASONS TO TEST YOU, and it's time to TAKE CARE of those reasons so that she does NOT have reasons to test you, on issues of trust, moral strength, masculinity, and great attitude, including a sense of humor.
Here's a list of some IMPORTANT things that you want to AVOID doing, as they will trigger a woman's need for TESTING.
-Acting fidgety while talking
-Not looking her in the eyes
-Not going right up to her (spending time LOOKING at her, then pacing around, then looking again, rather than just going right UP to her)
-Talking about SHOCK topics that are vulgar, crude, too sexual, just because you know they will get attention (this looks like you don't have anything ELSE to your personality so you had to resort to shock topics to get her attention)
-Talking too fast (this looks as if you are afraid she's going to leave any second, so you are trying to get all your words in NOW, and this obviously looks as if you have no real value)
-Touching her too much (This applies especially when you are not in a club. If you are trying to do a pick-up in a coffee shop, there's no need to turn it into a touchy-feely tasty thing. Keep any contact EXTREMELY light and playful and don't worry about going heavy "kino" kinesthetic there- it will totally ruin your interaction.)
-Staying LOCKED on your initial conversation opener forever, as if you have nothing else to talk about. A lot of times, a guy will start a conversation about something, and if it goes well, he sticks to it for dear life because he doesn't want to "mess up" with something else, when in reality it would be good to talk about a few things, if time permits, as it shows you have lots to your personality.
-Showing off (this shows insecurity or just plain old jerkiness, so of course a woman will test a guy to see how secure he is then, and then as guys we wonder why women seem to be trying to "press our buttons" when in reality we INVITED it!)
And there are tons of other things as well, but those are some of the BIG ones.
Two more major area are the fundamental points of:
Would YOU trust YOURSELF to be faithful if you were faced with "temptation"? Do you even think in terms of "temptation" or do you think in terms of INTEGRITY that VAPORIZES the whole IDEA of "temptation"?
Are you a good guy because you are AFRAID of being a "bad guy" or are you a good guy because it's what you TRULY BELIEVE IN YOUR BONES?
Sometimes, guys think that THEY are unworthy. So they feel a need to create masks in the form of lies about themselves, yet women always end up seeing through these thing and it just turns them off. So it's important to work on these issues if you are facing them yourself.
It's important to truly BE a man of integrity, not just be a man who can FAKE it, a la cheesy pick up artists who women see RIGHT through.
So the point is, women don't HAVE to be testing us, but we tend to MAKE women test us. And the great news is that you can DO SOMETHING about it so that women have very little NEED to test you in the FIRST place! Just DON'T DO the things that CLEARLY give women a REASON to test you!
The list above will HELP you accomplish this.
Now, I also want to let you know that you have to take this knowledge out into the REAL WORLD for it to have an EFFECT.
Success with women is about KNOWLEDGE plus APPLICATION. This is one reason taking my BOOTCAMP will FORCE you to have BOTH the KNOWLEDGE plus the APPLICATION together.
And you have to apply it REGULARLY, over and over again. Otherwise, it's like going to the gym to lift weights, but only lifting once every two weeks. If you were to go to the gym and lift weights, but not do it consistently, you'd ALWAYS wake up the next morning feeling IN PAIN and you'd have a negative association to working out.
In order to get to the point that you ENJOY it and you don't feel in pain, you have to go regularly so that you condition your body. Similarly, when it comes to getting the skills and emotional strength for being GREAT with attracting and picking up the women of your choice, you have to practice REGULARLY or you will never get into "condition". It will actually put you in a WORSE state as you will only have negative experiences to associate with and that's going to make you HATE the whole idea of interacting with women.
Listen, the reality is that nobody is going to force you to learn these skills. You can go a whole life and no one else will give a hoot.
It's up to YOU.
Wishing you success with women,
Michael
If you'd like to get the full picture on attraction, from the walk-up to a woman all the way to getting her home with you, to being able to spot a woman who would be a fantastic girlfriend, to building a fantastic connection with her, you owe it to yourself to get my SMAP- Seduction Mastery Apprenticeship Program.
This program will take you into greater depth on every area of attraction than anything else out there on the planet. For example, just on dominance alone you will find over an HOUR'S worth of pure gold, and on CD 8, tracks 5-10, you will find exactly how to open a conversation using dominance and how to continue it this way. And much, much more. It's here.
And if you haven't yet downloaded my eBook- The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, then do that now. It's got dozens of ideas you can start using to meet women tonight. It's here.
"The Dating Wizard's: Spell To Dating Success" article series. When you are able to accept that a woman might potentially not like you, you are then able to let go of being overly concerned with this fear.
This series of articles (listed here) are a small part of the information contained in "The Secrets To Success With Women (more info)" ebook and "The Seduction Mastery Apprentice Program (more info)" on CD/DVD.
