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Michael W - The Dating Wizard: The Spell To Dating Success
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Welcome to "The Dating
Wizard's: Spell To Dating Success" article series.
This series of articles (below and listed on the right) are a small
part of the information contained in "The Secrets To Success With
Women" ebook and "The Seduction Mastery Apprentice Program" on
CD/DVD.
Michael W. (The
Dating Wizard):
The
reality is that most girls are not going to "blow you off" and be
rude to you, they are just going to give you some resistance, which
is FINE. You can DEAL with that too, as you will learn to master the
art of finely calibrating your connection building skills and your
ability to comfortably escalate physically, and with help of the
insights in my programs, as well as the strategies you'll learn
there, you have the Wizard as your secret weapon.
***LETTER***
Hey Mike,
I am way behind in my studies right now, but I had such a great time
last night at a party, I feel as though I have to write you my
feedback right now to get it off my chest. I wanted to wait until I
closed a deal to write you, but, I had such a great time, I couldn't
wait. I purchased your
ebook
about 5 weeks ago, but I am hoping you'll share my breakthrough
with everyone in your newsletters.
His First Breakthrough
Though it took six weeks, it's finally coming together. After
gaining the insight, I did have an epiphany as you explained would
happen. I spent most of that time rearranging my mentality,
observing people, questioning them, building up courage, focusing on
my goals, and beginning openers. I also realized how miserable my
low self-esteem was making my life-especially when it came to women.
The more I realized how miserable I was though, the more focused I
was on breaking out of the terrible slump. I was such a nice guy. My
openers were horrible at first. It's very difficult to articulate,
but, though my
openers didn't necessarily get better, they became more natural
(and are becoming).
Anyways, so I'm at the party. I am talking with my friends, and I
see two girls at the laptop choosing music, but they were there for
quiet awhile. They walked away and this horrible song came on, so I
put another song on. I didn't know it at the time, but they had
spent about 20 minutes filtering through 500 songs to create their
own playlist and I had just deleted it. This girl who is gorgeous
walks up to me and says, "hey, you deleted our playlist." LOL, All I
was thinking to myself was, "I better effing say something, and it
better not be a damn apology or some gaping smile."
So I looked at her and said, "yah, I didn't like it, and don't
change my song" and walked away. Even though it wasn't my dream
opener, it was so natural-it's as if I didn't even really try to say
anything. LOL, you should have seen the expression on her face, like
"wow, this guy actually has a nut or two to stand up for himself."
And she didn't change the song. As the night went on, she would get
close to me, and I'd tease her, and she'd tease me. It was really a
fun time. I had so much fun, not with the teasing so much as her
rebuttals-I enjoyed the challenges she gave me, it was so
attractive-I wanted her more every time she came back with
something. Though my game was weak, there was some kind of
connection, and we kept it up most of the time.
Also, lol, I was teasing other girls as much as I could. It became
so easy. I fell into this zone where I didn't care what my friends
thought (mostly because they are so apologetic). I had difficulty
keeping focus because I was having so much fun with her and also the
party in general. It was her trying to make eye contact with
me--looking to see if I was looking.
For the first time in LONG TIME I was truly enjoying every minute
that passed. Everybody was celebrating, and no one was hurting each
other (I know, I know-I should be enjoying every minute anyhow, and
I work on that, but you know what I mean). Like I said, I didn't
seal the deal, but I didn't try to seal it for a reason; I wanted to
wake up early to study and get my chores done. What a great night.
When I see a girl now, I don't think, "Man, I hope this girl gives
me the time of day," but rather, I say to myself "I gottah give this
gurl a tease, I want her challenge, I want to see if she's worth the
time of day (I am only awake for about 16 of them). And yes, it has
only been one day. Thanks for the
newsletters. It's great to have those reminders.
I read the ebook mostly in one night. The next night, I finished it.
And I had the epiphany, and I couldn't sleep for two days. The
epiphany had more to do with how I see humans in general and my life
more than it had to do with women. It was truly a good piece, and it
made me think and challenge my thoughts. It was a very worthwhile
investment.
I am graduating in May (that's the plan anyways), and I have to drop
a lot of money on graduation. I will most likely purchase your
CD's in the future. I also have a lot more to work when it comes
to women. (Regarding the
ebook) I thought it had a very nice flow. It's obvious that you
carefully crafted your chapters. Great examples.
Craig T.
***MY RESPONSE***
Okay, first of all CONGRATS on making some SERIOUS progress. And
thanks for the genuine props on the eBook.
And CONGRATS on the EPIPHANY.
Get ready for the dominos to start falling, one after another, as
from this epiphany each realization leads to further massive
realizations. And if you think the
ebook is awesome, just wait till you get to the
CD set!!!!!
Let's first go over what you did RIGHT in your interaction at the
party:
1. You GOT your butt OUT of the HOUSE.
Seriously, this IS a huge thing. If you're used to NOT taking
action, it can take huge inertia to draw up the wherewithal to
overcome all the negative voices in your mind telling you to
continue to do nothing so that you avoid any potential emotional
pain.
(Even though of course, not taking action leads to more emotional
pain, but the brain has a funny way of not thinking long term and
wanting to just avoid the short term pain, so this is why I say
congrats on overcoming
that.)
2. You TOOK the ball and RAN with it IMMEDIATELY, rather than
waiting for the "PERFECT LINE".
You trusted your TRAINING to come up with the RIGHT stuff.
When she came to you and essentially OPENED YOU UP, (which by the
way could be an interesting strategy of opening up girls at a party
if they ever choose a song) you didn't freak out but rather SAW
OPPORTUNITY and showed DOMINANCE and VALUE in a way that wasn't mean
but was just COOL and made sense.
3. NOT SEEKING APPROVAL
Your THOUGHT PROCESS was good, when you said to yourself:
"I better effing say something, and it better not be a damn apology
or some gaping smile."
Let's take a quick look at what you said to her when she said that
you deleted her playlist:
"yah, I didn't like it, and don't change my song"
Where most guys would KISS UP and RUIN all the sexual tension and
challenge, you give her what she REALLY WANTS- that feeling known as
CHEMISTRY.
Most guys are so needy for approval from any woman that is
attractive, that it's GROSS! It's as if the guys have no value of
their own. And of course this ruins attraction.
Because attraction is all about what I call:
"Superior INTRINSIC Value"
And because you didn't think too much about it but rather relied on
your new instincts from the training and insights you have gained,
it felt natural.
And you mention her expression, like "wow, this guy actually has a
nut or two to stand up for himself."
And you mention how she kept coming back to you all night. You were
THE MAN!
4. MORE TEASING
More good stuff when you teased her
and built up the FUN vibes AND the tension (not giving into her,
keeping things challenging but in a fun way), (although let us know
next time the exact teases you gave!)
5. You ENJOYED and EMBRACED HER CHALLENGE
You didn't get offended or insecure, you "GOT IT" as they say. You
have developed to the point that you are internally strong enough to
ENJOY this. Good stuff, and a very attractive trait to the women who
"get it" as well.
6.THERE'S MORE TO GOING OUT THAN PICKING UP CHICKS
You enjoyed the party in general.
You were doing what you SHOULD be doing at a party- having fun by
being in the right state.
If he is ONLY there desperately looking for chicks, it's far from
the best vibe. It's like the guy has no sense of FUN, it's also like
he is a pure taker. He is not adding to the vibe, he just is all too
serious looking for chicks.
Okay, now, here's where you could IMPROVE besides the more
playful POSITIVE style teasing mentioned earlier above:
1. DON'T RELY ON WOMEN OPENING YOU UP.
Even though you did a good job of running with the ball when it was
presented to you, you don't want to RELY on women opening YOU up for
ANY reason.
Yes, women sometimes open up guys for various reasons, and there are
things you can do to help increase the chances of that like wearing
certain crazy types of clothing and accessories as conversation
pieces, but you want to be a man of ACTION and not RELY on that.
I'm not saying you would rely on that, but I want to make SURE you
don't develop a weakness in APPROACHING by looking for ways out of
it where women will approach you instead.
The reasons for this are not only practical in the sense of
increasing your options of women to choose from, but also internally
as well, you don't want to send the message to your brain that you
are passive. So take action.
Okay, the next thing to improve:
2. IMPROVE CALIBRATION OF TEASES/PLAYFULNESS/DOMINANCE
You mention that you enjoyed her rebuttals even more than your
teasing. The thing to realize about the teasing stuff is that the
playful stuff needs to be MIXED with the dominance. Once you get
used to that, you'll find that the teasing becomes very good-natured
and feels instinctive.
When not mixed with the playful stuff, the teasing can come across
as not natural, and sometimes even come across as nasty.
This is because your brain actually will produce words and vocal
tonalities that reflect how you really FEEL, so this is why getting
into the right playful and positive STATE is crucial for you
actually ENJOYING it and also for you actually coming up with the
perfect funny/playful/dominant things to say and do.
The sooner you get the playful vibe CONGRUENT to your personality,
the better. Out with the chips on our shoulders, chips do nothing
for us or women. Use the past as useful lessons, not as misery fuel.
Dominance should be MIXED with playfulness and also mixed with the
right amount of sensitivity to issues of TRUST.
More on the trust stuff below, but for now let's stick to the
playful/dominance mix:
This PROPER calibration is so key.
Maybe you actually incorporated this when you did your teases, but
I'm mentioning it here for the benefit of readers anyway.
So, for example, when she kept coming up to you, you could give her
a sly smile and do a playful role reversal of how women are always
coming up with lame excuses for chatting to you, and how you just
want to be appreciated for your mind! And that you wish a woman
would just want to make love to your mind!
Good times.
You'll enjoy going over the CRUCIAL section on "The Man's Way Of
Communicating" in my eBook and also there is a MASSIVE and ADVANCED
look at this whole topic in the
CD set that will take your skills here to a whole new level.
3. ONCE YOU HAVE SPIKED THE ENERGY OF THE INTERACTION, STOP THE
TEASING FOR A WHILE AND PROGRESS TO "GETTING TO KNOW YOU" STAGE.
Another thing, ironically enough after all that was explained above,
is to STOP the teasing earlier in the interaction.
Even though it's GREAT to get to that point where you "get" how to
be a master at playfully teasing and you're enjoying that vibe, you
have to TAKE THINGS TO THE NEXT LEVEL by getting "real" as they say.
A lot of guys are so thrilled with the fact they are getting a
positive reaction with the teasing stuff, that they don't realize
that there are also OTHER crucial aspects to a successful
interaction.
If you are going to ever proceed to getting physical, you have to
develop some TRUST and more solid CONNECTION. A woman can't open up
PHYSICALLY usually until she feels there is a much more solid
"getting to know you"
going on.
This is what comes AFTER teasing. And by the way, teasing is not the
ONLY way to establish vibe, but at parties it is usually the best
way to go, since the vibe is fun.
The key is to make emotional impact, and fun teasing vibes are very
sexual and also fun is very close to pleasure, and that's all close
to sex, so it makes sense. But just to prevent any confusion, I want
to make it clear that teasing is not the only way to open girls up,
what counts is being EMOTIONALLY COMPELLING to her. But that's a
whole other story, and I deal with that as well as a TON of other
important topics in my CD Mastery Apprenticeship Program.
And by the way, knowing how to keep the element of challenge and
tension and fun AND trust while in a RELATIONSHIP is a much more
elaborate issue that is beyond the scope of this newsletter, but
again I seriously suggest guys get my CD Set for a thorough
understanding of how all these elements must work together
harmoniously.
Now, the next thing regarding your interaction, to IMPROVE on:
4.FOCUS.
You mention you "had difficulty keeping focus because I was having
so much fun with her and also the party in general. It was her
trying to make eye contact" etc, etc.
Man, you HAVE to focus.
What happened is NORMAL when you start. There is so much stimulation
happening, from the music, to the interaction with the girl, to the
lights, to your friends, etc.
It's a lot of adrenaline.
But you MUST focus, this focusing is skill that is ESSENTIAL if you
want to GET THE GIRL.
When chatting to the girl, imagine that only you and her exist and
that everything else is just a HOLOGRAM with sound effects!
Do not pay attention to anything else, just totally focus on the
interaction, and she will follow your lead.
This leads me to:
5. ALWAYS TAKE YOUR INTERACTION AS FAR AS YOU CAN.
It's easy to fall under the spell of our own egos. So that boosted
sense of ego when a woman is giving you a positive reaction can also
be your prison if you are a slave to ego.
So guys don't want to lose that sense of "I'm a cool dude" with a
"disappointment" in case he TRIES to progress to the next level and
he somehow gets resistance from her.
Add to that, he's thinking of how hard it will be even if he does
try, since he knows it's going to be tough to focus with all the
loud music and all the racing thoughts in his head.
When that is combined with the thought of not wanting to "LOSE" that
sense of "I'm a guy who can get girls", he feels like it's not worth
losing what he's got:
A girl that is giving him POSITIVE responses, which makes him feel
GOOD.
He's concerned if he pushes that, he will have might get some
feedback from her that is telling him he is NOT a "guy who gets
girls".
Ego is so crazy.
So, what you have to do is REALIZE that success can ONLY be yours if
you DO keep progressing FORWARD.
A guy can't "lose the girl" by progressing the interaction, because
without progressing, he never NEVER HAD HER IN THE FIRST PLACE!
It's interesting, because if you think about it, what happens is
that most guys would rather keep their ego and lose the girl than
possibly risk their ego and GET the girl!
Of course, you must progress the interaction WISELY, SMOOTHLY, but
it will never GET smooth and perfect until you first GET IN THERE
and do it NOT perfectly a few times.
DON'T GET IT PERFECT.
JUST GET IN THERE and WORK IT.
Work it to work it.
The reality is that most girls are not going to "blow you off" and
be rude to you, they are just going to give you some resistance,
which is FINE. You can DEAL with that too, as you will learn to
master the art of finely calibrating your connection building skills
and your ability to comfortably escalate physically, and with help
of the insights in my programs, as well as the strategies you'll
learn there, you have the Wizard as your secret weapon.
So, do your BEST to take your interaction as far as possible. For
most guys when starting out, this might not be very far at all.
You mention even that right away, you walked away after your first
comment. That wasn't necessary, but it was cool enough of a comment
to keep her coming back.
More importantly though, you said you didn't finish the interaction
because of chores, etc.
DON'T GIVE IN TO EXCUSES!
Will it be perfect the first time?
No. But it doesn't matter, it's a PROCESS, it's progressive
never-ending IMPROVEMENT.
Do NOT abandon ship so fast. A lot of times, guys will eject out of
an interaction that was actually going FINE, simply because they
weren't sure what was the perfect thing to do NEXT. This is NOT a
good excuse, it's just a form of EGO-PRESERVATION.
And this can become a HABIT, born out of the desire to avoid
emotional pain.
Once you realize though that there is no pain in it, and that
self-esteem comes from living in accordance with your values, you
will feel better about taking action no matter what happens.
So your self-esteem will come from taking the appropriate action,
rather than from worrying about what SHE does.
You mention you had chores and studies, and I believe you, but
something tells me that if you knew you could have that fine chicka
with you even if it would just be for one hour, you would do it that
night. (I'm not saying that sleeping with a girl the first night you
meet her is always a smart thing to do, again various reasons for
this beyond the scope of this newsletter, but I just want to make
sure you weren't giving yourself excuses.)
And the adrenaline rush would be so awesome that you'd have tons of
energy for your chores even with less sleep, and then the next night
you'd sleep like a baby. Of course, I could be wrong, and also, I
DEFINITELY am against any kind of DRIVING when fatigued. So if you
were going to have to drive and you would be fatigued, then I
totally am with ya there in calling it quits for the night.
I have to point this stuff out because otherwise it's too easy to
rationalize to ourselves out of taking full action. I'm giving you
the tough love, yo. Because I wanna see you GET the girl next time.
But again, overall, congrats, you are a man of ACTION, especially
when you are in an environment of friends who DON'T take action, it
takes extra OOMPH to go against the tide.
And if you are reading this right now and want to take your success
with women to the NEXT LEVEL, let me assure you that what you have
read is just the TIP of the ICEBERG.
If you want to be taken to a level of mastery that will BLOW your
mind, then you owe it to yourself to take advantage of the three
YEARS of blood, sweat and tears I poured into my MOST ADVANCED CD
SERIES:
THE SEDUCTION MASTERY APPRENTICESHIP PROGRAM
This program is the most advanced resource around, PERIOD, on how to
pick up ANY woman, how to approach, how to generate ALL the emotions
required from first seeing her all the way to getting under the
covers, and much MUCH more. It will REDEFINE the very way you THINK
about attraction.
It's at:
www.thedatingwizard.com/seductionmastery.htm
And if you haven't yet downloaded my eBook, The Dating Wizard:
Secrets to Success with Women, then do that IMMEDIATELY.
It's at:
www.thedatingwizard.com/ebook.htm
The guy right here in this email got the first epiphany after
completing the book in two nights. It's real, the kind of thing that
charges you up so massively, you can't SLEEP for a couple of nights.
Yup, sorry, but that's how powerful it is. In 6 weeks, he was
already "getting it" and clearly women who are HOTTIES are seriously
INTERESTED in him.
We're talking changing around an entirely wrong way of BEING and
thinking that was entrenched into him over his entire LIFE, and yet
in 6 weeks, major positive change has already occurred.
Now, he just has to learn exactly how to PUSH it farther to the next
stage to SEAL THE DEAL. And if it's cool with him, he'll let us know
how he's doing soon and let us know his next stage of progress.
This eBook forms the FOUNDATION before moving on to my Seduction
Mastery program.
Download it NOW at:
www.thedatingwizard.com/ebook.htm
Till next time,
Michael
PS. If you want more
information before purchasing any of my products (they come with the
best personal guarantee of any ebook and CD material available
online!) visit my website here:
www.thedatingwizard.com
Michael W, better known as The Dating Wizard, is a dating and
relationship consultant for men, as well as a frequent guest on radio
and television talk shows. Michael has spent over four years studying
the specific male behaviors that trigger attraction in women. His
findings are based on both his real life observations of men who are
successful with women, as well as his research on evolutionary
psychology and its applications to sexual attraction.
His advice to men? Forget everything you’ve ever been taught about women
since you were a kid. "Women don’t want a politically correct man, they
want a real man. You have to unlearn all the myths and behaviors that
are holding you back from success with women." To find out all about Michael, his book, and his consultation services,
check out
The Dating Wizard Website or call 416 630 9966.
This work is copyrighted by the author. No
unauthorized duplication or presentation allowed. Copyright © 2003-2008 The
Dating Wizard All Rights Reserved
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