Michael W - The Dating Wizard: The Spell To Dating Success
Read more about The Dating Wizard here
- Go beyond rote line memorization and understand the difference of dating
and of being "The Man" when it comes to seducing women.
Michael W: Learn the one thing you can do to become a pickup expert and still being true to yourself!
I'd like to give you some practical tips on how to be successful with women, from pick up to dating to relationships.
A lot of guys think that nice guys finish last.
The problem is that YES, if a guy is "nice" from a place of WEAKNESS, he will finish last. And so many guys DO behave in a submissive way with women, so they DO finish last.
The thing is, as guys, we have been BRAINWASHED by so many forces in our culture to actually think that putting women on a pedestal is the right thing to do, no matter what. We're told by our moms that women love a guy who is all into them, who will never take them for granted, etc etc. We're told by movies, it seems that women love the good guy, etc.
Well, the problem is that this is simply unbalanced information. Women of course DO want to be treated well, but it has to be by someone who is a STRONG man. I don't mean with huge muscles, although working out is always nice, I mean that he is STRONG in the sense of not NEEDING her, in the sense of having a SECURE identity, in the sense of him having a secure sense of humor, and in the sense of LEADING the show in the interaction.
And since so many guys are NOT this way, the JERKS often win by DEFAULT simply because jerks have no apology, they lead the show, go for what they want, and don't seem needy at all, and have a life of their own.
Yet none of these things are jerky--it's only the ABUSE that's wrong, it's not the JERKY stuff they do that's attractive, it's the MANLY stuff they do that's attractive, and you can do that AND be a good guy and do better with women than any jerk.
So let's say you are taking a walk and reach a stoplight and the light is red and there is a woman you'd like to talk to standing there near you.
The longer you WAIT to say something the WEAKER you seem because it becomes obvious after 30 seconds of silence that you were THINKING of the perfect opener, and that means you were making a BIG DEAL about the fact she is there. Why is she such a big deal relative to who YOU ARE?
Making a big deal about a woman might SEEM to be nice, but it's not, what it really is doing is making YOU seem to be LESS than her, so what is so nice about telling a woman she should be with a guy who is LESS worthy than SHE is???
Wouldn't it be NICER to be the guy who is JUST as desirable if not MORE, who is STILL interested in her? Wouldn't that make her feel BETTER, THAT SHE IS GETTING SOMETHING out of this too?
So, by starting the conversation RIGHT AWAY, you are showing MORE VALUE about yourself, more confidence in yourself, and this makes HER feel better, as everyone wants MORE value in their life, not less. You don't want a woman to be NICE to you, you want her to WANT you.
You don't want her to have SYMPATHY, you want her to feel ATTRACTION. So by relying on being "nice" and submissive and coming across as unworthy, you are relying on her SYMPATHY. When you are coming across as VALUABLE, you are triggering ATTRACTION.
So let's go through some common ways of showing MORE value:
THE WAY TO BE PLAYFUL
So let's go back to the example of the woman at the traffic light standing beside you.
You already know that you have to say something right away, right?
And you know that kissing up is not cool either.
And you know that showing an awesome state of mind is very cool.
So whatever the situation is, there is a way to respond that is very cool.
Let's say it's raining LIGHTLY, and you have an umbrella and she doesn't. You could in a PLAYFUL way say to her "poor you, I feel so bad for you, but not THAT bad to give you my umbrella!".
THE RIGHT INTENT IN YOUR VOICE
If this is said with the right INTENT in your voice, she will LAUGH because it's funny, but she will also see that you are a cool guy that is not NEEDING her so badly like every OTHER guy. This is a sign of STRENGTH, it's simply ATTRACTIVE.
This doesn't mean that later on when dating her that you should not show her that you like her- that's where a lot of guys make mistakes, they don't realize that getting to know a woman and the way you interact with her is an evolving thing, it's not always the same thing. And rewarding good behavior is not the same as kissing up.
Let's say it's not raining, but you are both waiting for the light. You can tease her that she is JINXING the light to stay red and not turn and that it must be her fault because you are always at that light and it never takes this long.
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION BY USING HER OWN RESPONSE AS THE FUEL FOR YOUR RESPONSE!
And no matter what she says back to you, you USE what she says as FUEL for responding BACK to her, like a ping-pong game. So if she says "How could I be jinxing the light?? Why would I do that?"
You can then playfully respond with:
"Oh of course, the cover-up, you're an
EXPERT at this, with an alibi and totally
looking innocent and everything!"
INCORPORATE PLAYFUL ROLE PLAYING
She might then say something like "haha" and then you use THAT by saying "Don't think that laughing will get you off the hook! You're like a super villain here, using your psychic powers or whatever to control the traffic lights!"
SHIFT INTO A "REAL" CONVERSATION
Another thing is that you have to know when to SHIFT GEARS. Too often, if a guy GETS to the point that the girl is laughing and having a good time, he doesn't want to STOP doing the playful stuff, but it's important to MOVE the interaction AHEAD into the zone of actually having a conversation where you both share real opinions, perspectives, etc.
Otherwise, she will feel she never got to know you at all, and that you are ONLY playful, and perhaps don't have a "deeper" side to you.
So, again using this example, as the light changes, and you are both crossing the street, you can shift gears into more rapport and you can playfully transition by asking her if she works in the area and makes a ton of money so she can take you out to fancy places, etc.
She can then tell you a bit about what she does, whether she is in school and what she's studying, or whether she works and what she does or wants to do in the future as her job.
If you are listening well, you can then tell what she is passionate about, i.e. teaching children, and if you share any of her passions, or anything related, i.e. let's say you work with children, or let's say you respect great teachers, you can then have a meaningful conversation, plus you can chat about your passions, etc.
DON'T SHOW OFF
So many guys though make the mistake of talking about themselves in a way that shows they are VERY insecure. For example, as soon as the woman asks what the guy does, the guy goes on a whole serious long answer about his job in a way where he thinks he is being subtle about how cool or rich or prestigious or smart he is, and it's obvious what he's doing, and it looks insecure.
Instead, it's better to talk about the REASONS you love what you do. And if you don't love what you do, then focus your convo on something else. Also, it's always a fun and playful and cool thing to first answer the question to what do you do with something outrageous, simply because it shows you are not a slave to that question and that you don't take yourself so seriously.
So your first answer to what you do could be something like "I jump out of cakes at birthday parties" or "you work at Disneyland as the big bad wolf" etc.
Once you are having a real conversation and you are in rapport with her, from THERE, you can take her number or email or sometimes even go straight for the INSTANT date right then and there if there is a coffee shop, just tell her this is a good convo and that you should both continue it over a coffee! It's all up to YOU, it's YOUR JOB as the MAN and she EXPECTS you to do your job, and the worst is that she declines, perhaps because she is really busy and late for work, and in that case you can still take her number or email and contact her later.
THE RIGHT INTENT
The key is for you to be having the right INTENT, and that is that you are not being a jerk, you are simply being a MAN who is in FULL control of his emotions around a woman who is attractive and you are not about to hand over your dignity and life and emotional stability over to a woman just because she is there.
FOCUS ON THE MOMENT RATHER THAN THE OUTCOME
Rather, you ENJOY the fact she is there, and you ENJOY the moment with her, but you are not WORRYING about her response- that's NOT up to you, and you have learned not to fear WOMEN'S reactions.
You must not be outcome dependent- rather you must focus on how to enjoy that MOMENT.
It's not about showing her "who's boss" and it's not about kissing up to her, it's about you CONVEYING to her that you are in a great state. And since most guys are in a terrible state since she is so beautiful that it makes them uncomfortable, it's PARTICULARLY cool if you show her that not only are you in a great state, but also that you aren't NEEDY for her, and yet you still may LIKE her all at the same time.
CONTROLLING THE FRAME
Sometimes a woman will try to SHUT DOWN your pick-up. This doesn't mean she hates you or is mean or anything. Some women simply feel it's their job to be a "good girl" by trying to make it hard for you to get with her.
Embrace this fact, don't get pissed off about it, but don't ACCEPT her frame either.
So on one hand, don't get pissed since getting pissed off about it is EXACTLY the reaction she has been told is the kind of guy that just wants to take advantage of her. So she will feel that you are fitting the stereotype of a jerk, and feel that she did the right thing.
She expects you to UNDERSTAND that she needs to act hard to get to be considered a good girl, good woman, etc.
But at the same time, you can't accept what she says either or you won't get anywhere, so if she says something to you during the chat like "I'm really busy with work, school, etc, I don't have time to meet guys" don't say "ok".
Instead, PLAYFULLY REFRAME her statement as a reason for why she SHOULD be chatting with you.
Tell her "Well then since you're so busy, clearly you need a HEALTHY BREAK to be even MORE productive. And what can be better than chatting to a super cool guy like myself?"
Not only are you controlling the frame of the situation, but you are also getting her laughing by this, changing her internal state to make her even more receptive to you.
If she says "My friends would kill me if they found out I gave number to a guy on the bus/streetcar/intersection (or whatever else)!"
You can then say "Well, then, all the more reason to do it! You get to be the NAUGHTY one who does whatever she wants, and it will be our seeeecret shhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
And so by starting the conversation RIGHT AWAY, by looking for the playful angle, by not kissing up, by not being outcome dependent, and following all the OTHER tips above, you are massively increasing the odds that you are going to GET the girl.
If you notice, NOTHING mentioned above has ANYTHING to do with being A JERK.
It has to do with CONVEYING WHO YOU ARE, and what you are conveying with these tips is that you are secure, you are strong, you are fun to be with, you are witty, you are not needy, and that you are masculine.
NONE of these things are jerky or "fake".
However, we don't always FEEL all those cool things, and we don't always know the best way to CONVEY those things about ourselves.
But what if there was a way to understand ourselves, to understand the STRUCTURE of all emotions, and to understand WOMEN and the PHASES of the pick-up, so that you could CONSISTENTLY be READY to take advantage of all the opportunities to meet women all around you?
What if there was also a way to know what to do BEYOND the pick-up, to KEEP a woman attracted?
Well now there is a way, and it's called THE SEDUCTION MASTERY APPRENTICESHIP PROGRAM.
This program is the most COMPREHENSIVE and ADVANCED program out there on the topic of attraction, pick-up, and dating. And it's organized into ten CDs as well as a special workbook included to help you review and make your progress.
It's here.
And if you haven't downloaded my special eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, then do that now here.
Till next time,
Michael
"The Dating Wizard's: Spell To Dating Success" article series. When you are able to accept that a woman might potentially not like you, you are then able to let go of being overly concerned with this fear.
This series of articles (listed here) are a
small part of the information contained in "The Secrets To Success With
Women (more info)" ebook and "The Seduction Mastery Apprentice Program
(more info)" on CD/DVD.
