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Michael W - The Dating Wizard: The Spell To Dating Success
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 Welcome
to "The Dating
Wizard's: Spell To Dating Success" article series.
This series of articles (below and listed on the right) are a small
part of the information contained in "The Secrets To Success With
Women" ebook and "The Seduction Mastery Apprentice Program" on
CD/DVD.
Michael W. (The
Dating Wizard):
When it comes to being successful to picking up a woman,
it's REALLY important that you understand the BIG PICTURE of the
interaction. One of the biggest mistakes that guys make is that they
take a concept and either beat it to death, or use it at the wrong
TIME.
This occurs because the guy is too focused on a SPECIFIC detail or
tactic as opposed to the PURPOSE of the tactic. So, similar to
language, the point of learning the rules is to create MORE IMPACT.
That means that sometimes you can break a rule in order to create
the right EFFECT.
For example, being PLAYFUL is an excellent general concept to use
with women, it works because it says "hey, let's have some fun and
PLAY" - it gives a woman license to suspend her normal reality and
enjoy some play time.
It also allows her a license to be more sexual (of course, not crazy
sexual at first) because it is just "play".
The thing is, let's say you are doing this, and the woman LIKES you,
she's enjoying it, but she now wants to get to know MORE about you.
Meanwhile, let's say you keep on playing and playing and playing.
Like let's say you are being playful, and you jokingly respond to
all her questions, about who you are, your name, your job, etc.,
etc.
But you HAVE TO KNOW the difference whether she is asking you these
questions simply to "fill the void", (i.e. her socially conditioned
response to just blurt out boring programmed questions) or because
she is AUTHENTICALLY INTERESTED IN YOU.
So if a woman is asking you questions about yourself after you've
been chatting her up for 20 minutes, and you keep on avoiding any
serious answer, she'll just think you're slightly PSYCHO, or at
least a bit weird, and not in a very good way.
If a woman is already interested in you, and seriously showing you
that she is interested, and you keep playing the "smartass' type,
it's downright WEIRD.
Think of it this way:
Imagine a SUPER HOT girl came up to you, because for whatever reason
she knows or thinks you THE MAN, and you know you are THE MAN too.
She starts joking with you and seems pretty cool. After 20 minutes,
you ask her for her number. Then, she starts joking to you that
she's not that easy.
You laugh for a bit, but you don't really understand what the heck
she wants from your life, since after all, she came over to you.
Then, she CONTINUES to joke around with you.
You kind of laugh, because it's a bit funny, but at the same time,
you're wondering what she's all about.
So you ask her some questions, like if she goes to school around
here, what her name is, what her hobbies are, and to each question,
she just clowns around.
Now, you're probably thinking: hey, I'm THE MAN, I don't need this
weird Sh**.
Then, she asks YOU for your number, she suddenly gets "serious".
Now, you're thinking "I dunno, she's kind of WEIRD".
Well, that's exactly what chicks feel if you don't know when to act
normal.
This is just ONE example of paying ATTENTION to the situation- to
what she is thinking and feeling, and to what YOU are doing to cause
that effect.
This is why no technique exists in a vacuum.
Everything is part of a CONTEXT.
Here's another example:
After approaching many women, you might actually start to find that
you are so smooth, that women are instantly attracted to your
confidence, but also SUSPICIOUS of your smoothness.
The fact that you are funny, laid back, and able to go on and on
about hilarious stuff or interesting stuff can be TOO MUCH.
You'll notice that the women will be INSTANTLY attracted, they will
be making strong eye contact, touching you, laughing, and then they
might suddenly say something like "hey, are we on TV or something?
Are you part of some show? Is there a camera somewhere?"
All because they've never had someone so smooth relaxed and laid
back and having TOO MANY interesting things to say.
You might actually have to remember how to CHILL and slow it down.
There are SUBTLE things going on in every interaction, and you need
to be aware of them for maximum success. Don't get all nervous
thinking you should be overly ANALYTICAL while chatting to a woman,
just don't make the mistake that some guys do, where they are like a
robot talking without an off switch.
This is why I say to try to NOT memorize any more material than you
feel you absolutely have to. Guys that memorize stuff too much tend
to have that problem of just spitting out endless stuff because they
don't feel comfortable TRULY ping-ponging the energy back and forth
with some real dialogue with her.
But that kind of real vibing is essential.
Sometimes you'll notice that a woman is ALREADY interested in you,
she might tell you something like "Would you like to go for a walk?"
and if a guy doesn't realize she is already interested, he might
RUIN everything by making jokes like "hehehe.no way, I'm not that
easy!! once she in fact has already moved into SERIOUS mode.
Now she is getting a feeling of REJECTION, of ridicule, of fearing
you are just playing with her.
My point here is to help you become AWARE of the subtleties.
I recently received a great email that illustrates a SUBTLE yet
powerful action:
***LETTER***
Michael,
You really got this one down. What you said about validation is very
true. I am sure you have several stories about this concept but here
are two more.
I am about 23 years at the time. I am in this bar in Wash DC. This
southern mouth-watering babe (you know the type) who is a regular at
the bar is flirting and teasing a bunch of idiots.
You can tell she is playing them to the max getting them to buy her
drinks etc. My buddy is over by the bar telling her how beautiful
she is and asking her for a date. She is laughing at him, not with
him. She is in her glory. The intoxication you talk about in a bar
scene.
I am appalled at how she is playing him for a sucker and probably a
little pissed. I have been using techniques like yours for years but
not to the level of sophistication you have designed. I was lucky to
have an older brother show me the ropes.
I am Italian/Sicilian and we are not known for kissing up to women.
Anyway. My brother had shown me the "Lookup" which is where you look
some girl up and down and watch her reaction. You can really work
that validation stand with this, because she is expecting you to
approve of her and the way she looks.
This is very powerful because you have her at a disadvantage. You
are now the judge. It is like you said. She is so used to approval
that disapproval or no approval can knock her off her pedestal.
Well anyway, I was a little pissed the way she was making my friend
look like a fool, so I strut up to her, give her the "lookup" and
laughed and shook my head and walked away. She expected me to fall
on my knees and when I didn't, she flipped.
She immediately grabbed my arm and pulled me in front of her and
asked my what my name was. She smiled and showed all kinds of
smiling, warm behavior to get me to like her.
I acted nonchalant and acted like she was just another girl and
teased her to the max as I was leaving the bar. She ran over and
stuffed her number in my pocket and made me promise to call her.
Short story long.... we closed the deal at the next date.
Story two...This happened in my office, I am in sales and the office
manager hired this unbelievably hot babe as a receptionist. She was
a beauty contest winner and liked to talk about how she would enter
these competitions and win all the time. She was hot. Well all the
guys, single and married, were all over her.
I wanted to get up with her but, I knew I had to do something
different. I at first, ignored her a little, but then introduced
myself, threw a little charm and humor her way, and after 5 minutes
told her I had to get back to work.
She was surprised that I would not try to hang around her all day,
because when I told her I was going back to work, she had this
shocked look on her face. Well I started a pattern of ignoring then
paying attention to her around the office. When I ignored her, she
would get in front of me and say something like "Hi ____, and start
chatting with me. Sometimes I would engage her sometime not.
Once, when chatting, I did the "lookup" up and down her body, with
no response (that was difficult) and just continued talking. I would
sometime, give her a "smile, wink and a wave" a technique my brother
taught me. When you see a babe across the room and you don't want to
go up to her like all the other chumps, you just smile, wink and
wave. It makes her think you are being friendly but are too busy to
talk to her. It drove her crazy. It got so intense overtime that she
would pass me and touch me in some way.
Sometimes she would grab my hand. Or touch my shoulder and one time,
real aggressive. I was friendly, but acted not that interested. She
could not handle it. I would enter my office and she would be there
in my chair or sitting seductively on my desk. She would bend over
in front of me or flip her hair.
Well, eventually I though it was time to close the deal and one day
she asked me to lunch, we went and then, when we left the
restaurant, she asked if I wanted to play hooky and not go back to
work. I said OK, so we called our bosses and spent the rest of the
afternoon in a nearby park.... you can guess the rest.
Note here I am not a good looking guy, at best, average height,
average looks and in decent shape. This was not hard to do, if you
know the rules and follow them. I was always pretty good at this.
But, your books have helped me get even better at this because you
really understand the psychology of how women think and react.
I have read a lot of dating books like yours and they have good
pointers, but you are closer to the unvarnished truth then any of
the others. Keep up the good work.
Name Withheld
***MY COMMENTS***
First off, thanks for the props for my eBook.
And thanks for sharing "the lookup" - it's GOLD.
Your two experiences help show that you obviously understand how the
game works, and the stories also demonstrate to guys how to use the
principles. The "lookup" and your stories illustrate the power of
holding back full VALIDATION.
And finally, props to your brother, for being a cool brother who
helps his brother.
I also want to point out to readers that there is no ABUSE going on
here. Being THE MAN is not about being some PSYCHO or being abusive
in any way. It's a special combination of GIVING GREAT EMOTIONS
while NOT kissing up, and about withholding just the RIGHT amount of
validation so that a woman ENJOYS EARNING that validation from you!
Yes, women ENJOY it.
So it really is a sum-sum situation.
Everybody wins.
I remember doing something similar to the "lookup" several times
without being CONSCIOUS of it. I had met this damn fine woman a
while ago, and on our first meeting, as she stood up from the coffee
table, I sat back relaxed, and was looking her slowly up and down,
just sizing her up, not making an actual visible judgment from my
expression. Weeks later, she told me she saw me sizing her up on
that first meeting, and that it turned her on BIG TIME.
What I also like about your letter is that you GET it - that this
stuff is not about being MEAN.
Guys need to understand that there are DEFINITELY times when it's
OKAY to do stuff like "smile, wink and wave" if the OVERALL message
is that you are still TOTALLY feeling confident and totally in
control.
But for so many guys, they have been ONLY doing the smiling thing
toward women from a point of submissiveness and NOT from a position
of strength.
I'll say it again, it's not about being MEAN. It's about keeping
things FUN and a little edgy, so that there is that simmering sexual
tension keeps getting hotter and hotter until it explodes at the
RIGHT time.
The PRINCIPLE:
You are not withholding ALL validation permanently, you are just
withholding the RIGHT amount for the particular situation you are
in, with the particular woman you are dealing with.
You want to be incorporating lots of actions that embody this
principle. Of course, you HAVE to deliver a pay-off once in a while,
you have to give SOME validation or the tension will be too much and
it will backfire- and then she'll run.
What you do then is then create NEW fun tension at just the right
amount.
That's the TRUTH.
If you enjoy learning the TRUTH about how to pick up for REAL, and
how to KEEP that attraction going, then I seriously suggest you get
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And if you haven't
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with Women, then do that now. It's the FOUNDATION for everything
else I teach, it's got ROCK-SOLID, easy to understand tips and
strategies for approaching women, taking things to a physical level,
and important concepts for keeping a woman attracted to you. And it
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Download it right now at:
www.thedatingwizard.com/ebook.htm
Till next time,
Michael
PS. If you want more
information before purchasing any of my products (they come with the
best personal guarantee of any ebook and CD material available
online!) visit my website here:
www.thedatingwizard.com
Michael W, better known as The Dating Wizard, is a dating and
relationship consultant for men, as well as a frequent guest on radio
and television talk shows. Michael has spent over four years studying
the specific male behaviors that trigger attraction in women. His
findings are based on both his real life observations of men who are
successful with women, as well as his research on evolutionary
psychology and its applications to sexual attraction.
This work is copyrighted by the author. No
unauthorized duplication or presentation allowed. Copyright © 2003-2008 The
Dating Wizard All Rights Reserved
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