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Michael W - The Dating Wizard: The Spell To Dating Success
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You Can Learn the Most Powerful, Closely Guarded Secrets For Attracting Women Anywhere, Anytime, No Matter How Beautiful! This article is a small part of the information contained in the ebook "The Dating Wizard: Secrets To Success With Women". You will learn how to reclaim your masculinity and show the confidence that you've seen in guys that are popular, and successful, with women. For samples and more information visit The Dating Wizard Website

Do you want to know the reason why a woman who is gorgeous seems "harder" to get?
The truth is, she's not.
She's just trying to avoid guys who are weak. And I'm not talking weak with not having big muscles.

It's funny how if you hear how women who are honest talk, they say things like "What girl wouldn't want find it sexy to be with a guy that is dominant." I love it when women are honest, but the crazy thing is that women tend to be honest only with the guys that already know it all. Because girls don't want to come across as slutty, politically incorrect, or as mean to guys that don't know this stuff.

Women who are hot will avoid men who are weak.

I'm talking weak emotionally. Most guys are so weak emotionally that the real reason they want a "hottie" is to serve as a "trophy" so the guy can feel he is worth something that way.

Let me tell you, no woman in her right mind, especially not an educated woman who has developed herself in many ways, would ever want to be reduced to being seen as someone else's trophy.

It's a huge insult. It makes her feel bad.

This is not to say that women aren't sexual, of course they are, they are massively sexual. It's not that they don't want to be seen as sexual.

But to be seen as nothing but a trophy, well that sucks. And the truth is, most guys do view women who are hot in that way. I remember growing up and hearing from most guys "Oh man, if she was my girl, I would walk around with her in front of my friends, my arm around her" blah blah blah. All about getting validation. And I still hear this stuff from guys, guys who are trying to show off.

I'm not talking about when you ask your friend how your weekend is and you talk about the girls you met. I'm talking about the seeking validation stuff, it's very different. I talk with my friends all the time about girls, but it's not a validation thing, it's about wanting good for each other.

But most guys, they act very immature about women, because they still take the "trophy" stance.

Me personally, I really don't give a damn what anyone thinks of a woman I'm with. I provide my own self-esteem, so all I care about is the sexual attraction and the emotional and intellectual connection that I feel. In fact, if anything, I'd be proud to show how I don't care what anyone else thinks, because I really think being self-validated is the most important thing in life.

This is why true inner game rather than just superficial "I am great" statements to yourself is so important. It's because a woman can sense your inner game because the very frequency and vibration of your voice, the very intonation, the very expression on your face, it all shows billions of messages that her subconscious can totally read. She can't tell if you are a great person or not, but she can tell if you are needy for her as a form of ego-propping for yourself.

And this is also one of the reasons women give men the "Shit Test".

Because if you get so uptight at something she said, it means you have a weak sense of self-esteem.

It means you are not centered, but rather still looking outside of yourself for validation.

And also, she knows that if she wasn't so hot, you wouldn't get so upset, so it's the hot factor that is pissing you off. As if you were deprived of your prize. And why should it bother you if you are self-centered and secure.

This is why laughing it off is so important, and really it should not be an act, it should be real. You can learn to develop this. It's just part of what I teach.

Again, don't get me wrong, as intimacy and kindness is an important part of any relationship, but first she needs to know she is dealing with a man. The hugs and kind words come later. But she needs to know first that she is with a man.

Not a boy who needs his trophy to stop whining. And also, not a guy who is never going to develop anything meaningful with her, because all he sees in her is a trophy for his weak self-concept.

A lot of the outer techniques, which I also teach, are really just some ways of showing your inner game. Which will get you results as well. But once you really have your inner game, you don't have to pretend at all.

Here's a recent letter that shows both inner game and outer game:

***Reader Success Story***

Let me share with you my experiences of this weekend.

For "social proof" I've been going out the past weeks with 3 girls, which are good friends of mine. You have no idea (well, I am sure you do, but anyway) what an impact this has on the rest of the people in the club. I recommend going out with female friends to all guys out there!!

So on Friday, we go out to our favorite club and half an hour after we entered, a group of three girls comes in. They go to the bar and one of them (the cutest and her name was Jacqueline) is standing right next to me. She takes the cigarette of her friend who is ordering drinks and lights her cigarette with it.

I had studied quite hard your materials for the past weeks, so immediately when I saw that, I touched her arm and said "Don't you have enough money to buy a decent lighter?"
Jackpot! I busted her balls some more, till 2 minutes later her friends took her to the bathroom and she said "I will be right back".

Of course I was not going to wait for her like a dog, so I started to walk around in the club and quite quickly I was talking to another girl (Samantha) I had met the week before. After some time, I saw that the other girls (including Jacqueline) were back from the bathroom and instead of going back to their original spot, they were standing very close to me.

I said goodbye to Samantha and went back to my friends, while completely ignoring Claudia (on purpose of course). Paradoxically, not one minute later she is standing right behind me making some pretty hot dance moves. Of course this type of good behaviour had to be rewarded and after some dancing with her, we talked for some time and bottom line is that next week Tuesday we'll meet again!!! How being the man and, at the right time, playing hard to get, can have a serious impact!

So on to Saturday! Again with my three girlfriends and now also two other friends. Thanks to your eBook, I have become quite "picky" in terms of women (I now know what I want) so the first two hours there wasn't that much action going on, at least not in terms of approaching women. I just had a lot of fun with my friends.

But then, one of the most beautiful of women I have ever seen enters the club. When I saw her, to be honest, my old habits wanted to enter my head again: "man, she is too hot for my league". But then one of my female friends said that I just had to go for it. And thinking about your stuff again, I indeed just did. She was wearing some nice high heel shoes, and it had a special design so you could see her big toe. So I went to her and said "There were sales the whole month of January, and you didn't buy any new shoes? Look at those holes in your shoes. I can see your big toes!" Again Jackpot!

On top of her beauty, she happened to be German, so apart from my English, I could practice my German too. We had a very nice conversation, till after about ten minutes I decided to go back to my friends. I asked her if I could have her phone number so we could go have a drink next week.

Here, I made a mistake, because I asked it without a good reason to meet again and I asked it not subtle enough. So, not surprisingly she said "no". I looked at her, smiled, said "It was nice meeting you" and left, while leaving her a little shocked. A couple of minutes later though, I went back to her and said "Young lady, normally I don't do this, but I'll give you one more chance. Next week Sunday, we are going to an art exhibition (she liked modern art) and I don't take no for an answer." She looked at me, smiled and said "yes". I asked her again for her number, but she still said "No, you give me yours".

I replied that I also do not give my number to ladies that I just met (to which she laughed again) and instead we exchanged email addresses. Lastly I said that I appreciated that she did not give her number to guys that fast, because that was the type of girl I was looking for. A little lame maybe, but on the other hand I think it also showed her that I have standards.

Anyway, I am 110% sure that I would have never ever been able to approach her, let alone talk to her AND passing her s**t tests without having read your eBook and listened to your CD's. Your stuff is so pure gold!!!

I just have one question after those experiences:
How did you handle in the beginning the adrenaline and feeling of power after successfully talking to the cutest of girls? I mean, I have a very busy life during the week (and weekend) which has mostly nothing to do with meeting women, but because of the successes of the past weekend, I hardly can't wait to go out again!

How did you temper yourself to keep on focusing and developing yourself to become fully the man, while at the same time enjoying the memories you had of your recent successes?

Thanks again for your support!!!!
Bill C.

***Michael W.'s Reply***

Awesome Stuff! Keep it up, man, as your learning curve will keep getting better and faster as you keep up the momentum. By applying what you are learning non-stop, you are actually learning other things as well, and building up powerful things internally on levels you don't even realize, hey are happening.

From reading your letter, I can see that you are going through some of the last of the early phases, where your success is partly based on outer stuff still, but that's okay, because I can also see that you are transitioning to a place where your success will eventually come from within. This is part of the process for many guys.

The external stuff you are doing such as the social proof, and the "teasing" are all great, but what is happening really is that these things are also changing the way you feel internally and getting you used to a different reality. So much so that with time, you will be able to say almost anything and do anything (because your vibe exudes dominance, upbeat feelings, playfulness, sexuality, class, etc.) and get even better results.

Some guys think this means that there is nothing to learn - but on the contrary, to get to the point where you can do anything and it's internalized is the result of learning so much. And practicing.

So good stuff and keep it up.

One thing I want to mention is that as soon as you saw the chick who was really hot, and you for a second thought she was out of your league, you kind of "lost" a lot of power. The internal wirings were already getting loose as soon as you thought that. Now I know it's just a matter of practice before this goes away, but I wanted to remind you of how important it is to not even think that way.

However, you did a valiant effort at "damage control" and also you hit a good rapport point because of the commonality of the art stuff.

The thing is, you want to really have a better flowing conversation to begin with so that more topics would arise that you could naturally use for rapport instead of having to think about it and then come back.

But it's pretty cool to see that even with the coming back, it still had value because you did it with dominance.

You were not seeking her approval. But, there was still a bit of the trophy stuff going on here, and as that goes away, you will totally be "The Man".

Just one other thing though to remind you:
Try to avoid any comments to a girl of "this is your last chance" as it almost always comes across as desperate.

Because, why would you care so much to give her a last chance?

There are exceptions to this rule, i.e. once you already are both in a relationship, and you really mean it as her last chance, because then it's clear that you both have something invested in it, but in a pick-up situation, it's best to avoid this "last chance" stuff.

And even in a relationship, this should be a last resort, not something you do every day.

In a pick up situation, saying "this is your last chance" comes across more as it meaning it's your last chance, rather than meaning it's her last chance, but at least you did it with the right body language so it helped. In other words, you sounded like you meant it.

To answer your other question, the truth is that in the beginning, yes, this adrenaline rush did keep me up all night and then the next day kind of thing, it was insane.

It's really crazy when you suddenly realize how much of a blast you could have and that it's all up to you if you are willing to step up to what your potential is. I know exactly what you're talking about.

The best thing regarding how to make sure you continue to develop yourself in the other areas of your life is to at first just get yourself physically doing the other stuff in your life, and you will pick up momentum there internally as well, because everything is simply a matter of focus, and what you focus on, you will feel.

So at first, because you are focused on the hotties at the club, etc, you want to continue that, but then if you just turn your focus to your other parts of your life, you will soon find that that becomes the focus.

Remember, as I have said before:
"You are what you think and do". So simply start doing whatever it is you know is important, and you will soon feel like doing it as well

Keep up the great progress!
And now, our next letter:

***Question From A Reader***

Hey Michael,
It's Peter, I completed your Bootcamp a couple of months back, and I just wanted to say that you've changed my entire life around with women.

A year ago, I was lonely, depressed, and wondering if I would ever meet a girl that I actually liked and who reciprocated.

Well, you destroyed my old wuss needy frames that got me into those states, those states were part of the whole problem, and you really opened my eyes to how the dating reality works with women, from making that first opening of the conversation to getting physical, and dealing with the (now) predictable tests.

I thank you for that.

Not only do I not think in those ways that lead to the negative "abyss" as you described it, but by also obliterating that inner wuss, I learned to dominate my interactions with women and I can't believe how women love this!!! I have three women that I'm dating who are all fighting for the chance to be with me today on Valentine's Day, which is a bit of a problem, but the kind of problem that I'm happy to have!!!!

I just have one question for you:
I try to stay on top of my game by always learning more, and I read from some guy that says it's important to feed the conversation to keep it going. This doesn't seem to ring true from my experience, as I don't try to feed anything at all, you taught me to just go with the flow and to realize that the conversation is yours before you even start.

What's your take on "keeping the conversation going"?

***Michael W.`s Reply***

Very often in this field, my stuff gets
taken by certain other supposed "dating gurus"
who then bastardize it with their ignorance.

This is one of those examples.

The reality, as you have experienced in my Bootcamp and certainly now in your own life, is that attraction is not about "keeping the conversation going" or "persuading her to keep it going", or persuading her to do anything.

You do have to have an understanding of attraction, rapport, emotion, and building a connection, but it's definitely not about "trying to keep the conversation going". That is like a car that is already out of gas and trying to keep it going. Rather, it's more about steering the conversation, not about keeping it going. If a guy is in "keeping it going" mentality, he is already out.

All that "hey here's some stuff to keep it going" is reminiscent of the shady used-car salesman mentality. (Not that there aren't also good people in that profession, I'm just using it as an example). It's covering up the real problem.

The reality is that 99% of the time, when you start an interaction with a woman, it either hits or it doesn't.

She either feels attraction, because you the guy did it right, or she doesn't, because the guy did it wrong, or possibly because the logistics were ridiculous, i.e. she can't hear him, or there is too much interference from human traffic, or she is seriously in a rush, etc.

The point though is that it's immediate. She can't help it. If she feels it, she can't help but feel it immediately.

And if the guy started the interaction wrong, then she won't feel anything for him. And it's usually too late to turn the ship around at that point. Especially for a beginner, he would be way better off to just start anew with a different woman.

It's really sad how so many "experts" don't know what the F***K they are talking about. They end up confusing guys and putting them further back rather than ahead.

While we're on that topic, let me clear up more stuff that the "experts" never seem to get to:
"Logistics" are way more important than most people realize.

One of the reasons it's easier to meet women at clubs is because the women are not about to jump off anywhere, and because they are in fact there to get picked up, whether they say it or not. Not all the women, but many women are there solely to get picked up, or at least partially to get picked up.

So you have a lot of women who are there to get picked up, who have the time to get picked up, and there is a place to sit, chat, relax, etc.

I mean, really, the logistics are great. Not all clubs have great logistics, but many, many, do.

Now, if the logistics are not messed up, and she's not in a happy relationship already, then your pick-up will work if you know what you are doing.

You will see her open up almost immediately to your pick-up. She will be smiling, attentive, and after just a little bit of your chat, she will contribute, she will help you along!

If you need to persuade her, if you need to feed her lots of conversation, it's a sign that either the logistics are screwed or the guy's game is screwed.

More "ways to continue the conversation" won't help.

The early part of your interaction is the engine for the rest. Without a great solid early interaction, where you smoothly open, pass through any shit tests, etc, no amount of "how to continue the conversation" will help at all.

The whole beginning of the interaction happens quickly when done right. Usually you should be getting to rapport rather soon - and rapport is something she should be contributing to a lot as well, so it's not like you need to feed her lots of rapport stuff, but rather it should be a give and take- like ping pong),

She will help you along at that point. So it's not about "feeding the conversation" at all. It's about how you come across immediately and then keeping that vibe up.

Like I said, when you've been doing this stuff for as long as I have, for real, testing it on all kinds of women, in all kinds of venues, in all sorts of times, in all sorts of logistics from freezing winters and meeting women on the sidewalk that way to subway trains to malls to clubs to groups of girls to girls alone to party girl to academic girls, it's so obvious to me when a guru doesn't know what the F*** he is talking about.

Again, 99 percent of the time, if the interaction goes well in the beginning, it will continue to go well, because she will then be seeking rapport with you. In fact, if you have to still be feeding the conversation and keeping it going, you are clearly coming across as trying too hard and that will only drive her farther away.

Oh yes, and for total accuracy, I'll even add how it will drive her away and what type of comment she will say.

Especially if she is really hot. It will end up with the girl rather quickly saying nicely with a smile "see ya!". As I told you, women who are beautiful tend to not be mean. So they will say "see ya" with a smile.

Here's another thing that the McDonalds dumbed down philosophy of attraction never mentions:
For example, although the order of the interaction never changes too much, i.e. attract, building rapport, etc, is the same pretty much in all situations, the fact is meeting a girl who is a true 9 or 10 requires a slightly different game than A 7, 6, or even 8.

And again, logistics are an issue. For example, meeting a woman who you just saw get on the train, who is gorgeous, but on the other side of the train, and then you get there, and she gets off, and you have a second to catch her before she leaves into her place of work, the fact is her mind is engaged on where she is going, and the mere fact you had to physically rush to get there works against you, it makes you look needy, and most importantly, her state of mind is pretty blocked at the moment to pick up because of work. And the fact is, many times in life you will actually spot gorgeous women during the daytime, but the logistics are sometimes very tough.

If she's a 6, it might still work even if your inner game is sucky. If she is an 8, your game has to be tighter.

Another thing:
Women who are attractive who are out at daytime venues may be more likely to authentically not be single compared to women who are out at dance clubs! After all, clubs tend to attract singles.

If a chick tells you she's got a boyfriend but is out there shaking her *** at the club, that can be a total joke. But if she is on her way home from university and tells you this, it may very well be true.

Let's get real here and talk turkey.

Another issue that needs to be discussed is the truth on where to find women who are beautiful who are not party girls. You can be the most cool person in the world, but if you don't know where to find the women that you are interested in, you're not going to get results.

So you have to experiment, you have to experiment with locations, and not only locations, but also time of day at those locations. You will have to try those locations morning, night, afternoon, and in between.

Yes, this takes some effort, but the question is, do you want success or not?

Also, shit tests, this is really one of the biggest things that guys need to truly master with women.

One of the other reasons why women say things like "I want a guy who is good looking, tall, blah blah" is because if nothing else, then they want this.

But the thing is, even if you had "everything" that they ask for, I swear to you that women would still shit test you, they would find things to say that were not good enough about you, simply to make you feel that they are hard to get, or sometimes it's simply because they are insecure and need to try to make you feel like you are not that great.

In any case, the way to win at all of this stuff is to never take any of it seriously.

What matters is the girl you end up getting, not the masks she shows you at the beginning.

And just about every girl will give you some kind of shit test in the beginning, whether it's for good reasons or for reasons of her own insecurity.

And it doesn't matter, because it all gets vaporized once you pass through these shit tests.

I'm not a huge fan of online dating, but I don't even look at what the chick's requirements are, because most of the time it's meaningless.

But if you take her "requirements" seriously, you will always lose, because if you try to satisfy those requirements, you will only be showing her that you are inferior, you will also ruin your own inner game, and also most likely you will get pissed off and start an argument rather than simply keep up the vibes that lead to sexual attraction.

A girl likes the fact that she says she wants A B and C, but you come along and don't give a damn about it.

It says you are a man and that you know your value is greater than any of those things.

The mere fact you defy her requirements is more attractive than if you did have the "requirements" and tried to impress her with them! The trying to impress her with them is nothing but insecurity, and that is an attraction destroyer.

Now, if you want to learn the complete picture on how to get results with women, then there's nothing like learning from someone who knows this stuff and has the experience.

The first thing is to get my revolutionary Seduction Mastery CD Series immediately. This program is the real deal. It's the most powerful, comprehensive and portable resource on the planet for getting good with women, and it's at:
www.thedatingwizard.com/seductionmastery.htm

Beyond that, to take yourself to the next level, the most powerful method is learning in person. I'll first monitor your game thoroughly so I can find out exactly what it is that you need. I will customize your coaching so that it's most efficient for you.

I'll effectively teach you everything you need to learn, so that you get the skills.

I'll find out exactly what your specific sticking points are and obliterate them. I'll assess your body language and tonality and FIX it. I'll feel out your inner game and find out what toxic stuff is going on emotionally and in regards to your beliefs and I will you get rid of it.

I'll give you the best insights on women and then show you how it applies in the field as we pick up women together.

I'll teach you the structure of humor, and more importantly, I will get your humor and confidence reflexes up to par, and I'll develop and hone your skills in reframing anything she says so that no matter what tests she throws your way, it only ends up making you even better.

You will learn from observing me, and you will learn from being coached as you wing with me.

When you finish this program, you will be good with women, not just want to be good. To learn in person, go to my bootcamps page at:
www.thedatingwizard.com/bootcamp.htm

And if you haven't yet got my eBook, then do that first, it's one hell of a powerful book that will change the way you interact with women forever. It's stood the test of time, as opposed to being some kind of 7th million product- everything I do is about quality and not about churning out endless products. It's one great book and it's at:
www.thedatingwizard.com/ebook.htm

To find out about all my services, go to:
The Dating Wizard Website

Till next time,
Michael

New articles every week!

Michael W, better known as The Dating Wizard, is a dating and relationship consultant for men, as well as a frequent guest on radio and television talk shows. Michael has spent over four years studying the specific male behaviors that trigger attraction in women. His findings are based on both his real life observations of men who are successful with women, as well as his research on evolutionary psychology and its applications to sexual attraction.

His advice to men? Forget everything you’ve ever been taught about women since you were a kid. "Women don’t want a politically correct man, they want a real man. You have to unlearn all the myths and behaviors that are holding you back from success with women." To find out all about Michael, his book, and his consultation services, check out The Dating Wizard Website or call 416 630 9966.

This work is copyrighted by the author. No unauthorized duplication or presentation allowed. Copyright © 2003-2007 The Dating Wizard All Rights Reserved