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Michael W - The Dating
Wizard: The Spell To Dating Success
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You Can Learn the Most Powerful, Closely
Guarded Secrets For Attracting Women Anywhere, Anytime, No Matter How
Beautiful! This article is a small part of the information contained in the
ebook "The Dating Wizard: Secrets To Success With Women". You will learn how
to reclaim your masculinity and show the confidence that you've seen in guys
that are popular, and successful, with women. For samples and more
information visit
The Dating Wizard Website
Harsh truths are not
always what people want to hear. People want to hear about a rose
colored reality, where everything is just dandy if you swallow the
right magic pill. Well, the reality is that you CAN have awesome
success with women, but ONLY after realizing the TRUTH about what is
going on.
My PRIMARY GOAL is to STICK TO THE TRUTH about women and dating,
including being aware of the BIG PICTURE and letting guys know every
excruciating detail. It is ONLY then that as guys we can work towards
a better reality for ourselves and ultimately for everyone.
I'd like to start off with a recent important letter:
***LETTER FROM A READER OF THE E-BOOK***
Michael,
You had said in your newsletter, one of the topics in your seminar is
the growing presence of "Bad Boys" and that the current environment is
breeding more of this type.
I think it is the capricious nature of women who cried and whined
about what bastards men were and that they wanted nice guys who would
treat them with respect. So the mothers and women teachers over the
last 20 to 30 years raised their boys to be good husbands, respecting
of women etc. being loyal, faithful etc.
It used to be that the "bad boy" experience was something women went
through in their youth, learned from, and later appreciated men who
treated them better. It was a process that through maturity and life
experience, they realized that "Bad Boys" make bad husbands and life
partners and a the decision to grow up and make a mature decision was
based on a standard that men were the bread-winners and if women
hooked up with "bad boys" too long, they would not have the financial
stability they need to have a home and family.
In truth these women spent their youth and their lean slim bodies on
jerks and left the good guys on the sidelines. Later when their boobs
and butts fell and they put on a few pounds and wanted some sucker to
pay for the babies they had with the "bad boys' or the additional ones
they wanted they pursued the decent guys. Men have wised up somewhat
but just go to a "Parents without Partners" and watch all the single
or divorced mothers looking for the gravy train. It is incredible.
A friend of mine who thought he could meet decent women at a church
singles group found out after a few meetings that these groups were
the first stop of this fallen women looking for a nice computer
programmer to put their little b***ards thru college.
Well, that is old news. As you probably know. Things have gone to the
next level. With financial independence and the lack of dependence on
men from a financial point of view, this maturation process has been
deferred or eliminated. Women, who now love to say "We Don't Need
Men", now want the "bad boys" even beyond their wild youth.
My friend says that he runs into women in their 30's and 40's who only
want to date rich famous men or movie rock star types. It is bizarre
but is having a not surprising effect. I read an article that the
number of women in their late 20's and early and late 30's that are in
therapy now is 3 times what it was 20 years ago.
The primary complaint of these women is "What is broken in me. I can't
find a man who wants to have a long term relationship or marry me..."
Gee I don't know, since the archetype women promoted by a feminized
society is a workaholic, promiscuous, cynic who acts more like a man
than a woman..
Well it is interesting but not surprising that men are starting to get
the hint. That women are giving their love, affection and bodies to
men who don't treat them well or care about them at all..in fact young
boys are starting to get the picture. That while women like nice guys
they love men who treat them badly..
This contradicts all
the info men have adopted concerning love, marriage etc. But it is
filtering down.Young boys are seeing that the "bad boys" get all the
girls so they are mimicking the behavior of Rap artists etc.
I have provided an
article from the Washington Post. It talks about some kids at a
High School in the Arlington, VA. which is about 3 miles outside of
Washington,DC..This is not an urban setting; it's not a poor blue
collar area. It's one of the most affluent areas in the USA. It has
gotten to kids that if they want girlfriends, they have to disrespect
them, cheat on them and not care about them...pretty eye opening..at
the end of the article it says that thesegirls will mature in college
because they are looking for husband material..this is nonsense.....it
is the next
stage of the endless pursuit of the Superior Male.
Name Withheld
***MY COMMENTS***
There's a lot I want to say in response to this letter. Before anyone
starts to shout "chauvinist" and all that stuff, I'm going to say that
I am perfectly aware that there are probably many women who do not fit
the stereotype portrayed here. And I'm aware that there are many guys
who are just as "bad" and who mistreat decent women who do appreciate
a good guy. However, I do believe there is a dangerous trend that any
honest guy can recognize, and it is a growing trend:
Women who are attractive date jerks, get abused, eventually date
ANOTHER jerk, get abused again, etc. And more than any time in
history, "players" and bad boys are portrayed as sexy in rap videos,
movies, etc.
Most guys just aren't like this in general. Most guys really DO
appreciate a good woman, and the irony is that by SHOWING their
appreciation, they provide FULL validation and hence bore the woman to
death. There's a lot more of course, that these guy are doing wrong,
but that's one major part of it. So the woman moves on to a jerk who
is challenging and exciting and provides the opportunity for a greater
thrill when she finally "CONQUERS" him, (or so she thinks, anway).
Is there any hope for the guy who is not a gangster or rap artist or
jerk-off?
The answer is YES, there absolutely IS.
But in order to succeed, what guys have to do is NOT TRY TO CONFRONT
WOMEN ON THIS ON A LOGICAL LEVEL.
Instead, the way to SOLVE the problem is to forget logic and instead
learn to ATTRACT a woman on an emotional level so that they CAN'T HELP
but feel the attraction. How does a guy do that?
When it comes to attraction, the most important thing to realize is
that it's all about creating PERSPECTIVE. Think Einstein and the
"Theory of Relativity". Attraction is not a static thing at all.
It's all relative to the perspective a person has. So as guys we can
either surrender to the forces of chaos (i.e. submit to the idea that
"women don't need men, etc) and let THAT dictate the perspective that
both women and we ourselves have about how attractive we are, or we
can TAKE CHARGE and CREATE the perspective. The most powerful thing
you can do to skyrocket your attraction is to CHALLENGE all YOUR
limiting BELIEFS and all WOMEN'S limiting beliefs about you by taking
REAL ACTION in the REAL WORLD with REAL WOMEN.
Now, don't just take IGNORANT action. Definitely, get the knowledge.
Learn HOW to create the right perspectives. I give you the tools, in
my book and in my seminars, to create powerful emotions in women. Just
like a painter uses the tools of brushes, canvas, and paint to inspire
emotions, you can use the tools I discuss to inspire ATTRACTION. But
you must USE those tools! The point is to USE your knowledge in the
real world so that your new behaviors become INSTINCTIVE.
When you see the RESULTS of this action, i.e. women responding well to
you, you will PROVE to yourself that your old limiting beliefs were
indeed false and you will never go back to those old repulsive
behaviors. You will strengthen your internal state, which will
NATURALLY manifest itself with you behaving in ways that convey that
you are THE MAN. i.e. your body language, the expressions on your
face, your actions, your comments, your tonality, etc.
These manifestations of your internal state convey sexy VITALITY and
POWER.
Ever notice how people who are confident SOUND confident with clear
vocal projection, they are not afraid to take up space with the way
they stand or sit, they relax and LOOK relaxed when they are sitting
standing talking or walking?
Ever notice how some people ENHANCE your emotions just by being around
them, they instill CONFIDENCE and HOPE and SAFETY and others are
always full of doom and gloom and DETRACT from your positive state of
mind?
When you KNOW that your old limiting beliefs are FALSE, you are
finally FREE to be the REAL YOU. The REAL you is the guy who is not
held back by FALLACIES. Isn't it crazy how the things that hold back
guys from success are just LIES????
At this point, I want to POUND home the following point:
You must CONDITION YOURSELF TO WITHSTAND THE ASSAULT ON YOUR EMOTIONS
THAT COMES FROM ALL THE DYNAMICS INVOLVED IN LEARNING TO TRIGGER
ATTRACTION, from pickup to getting physical.
This "assault" involves everything from the fears of approaching a
woman, the fears of being made into a mockery by a woman, etc, etc,
and eventually all this stuff becomes a JOKE when you RID yourself of
your belief in the power of these fears. It was YOU who believed in
their power, and now it must be you who ERADICATES your belief in
their power.
Nothing happens to you if a woman "rejects" you. Nothing. In fact,
most guys make a bigger deal in their IMAGINATION about it than what
really happens. In other words, women don't go around yelling at guys
who try to chat with them, they don't go around laughing etc etc.
And what's critical to realize is that eventually you get DESENSITIZED
to what women's reactions are ANYWAY, if you just do it often enough.
And THAT type of thick skin makes you even MORE attractive. Hey, you
want a reason to believe in your potential? Let me give you a reason:
Everything boils down to PERSPECTIVES! Look, cigarettes, which KILL
and cause DISEASE and DEATH, are marketed and sold as being
REFRESHING, COOL, and for young people.
As being SEXY.
Which reality is superior?
SEXY or DISEASE-INDUCING?
All depends on how you look at it. For millions of teenagers, it's
SEXY. Is there any guy out there who feels he is LESS cool, LESS
worthy, LESS sexy, and has LESS going for him in terms of image than a
disease-causing and smelly substance that has somehow been branded as
sexy and cool?
If cigarettes can be perceived as sexy, than ANY guy can be turned
into something sexy. Just depends on your skill at presenting YOUR
reality as superior.
One of the main differences between a "master" and a novice in this
area of having no internal negative reaction to women's reactions is
that a novice has no thick skin, while a master has put himself in
rough emotional situations regarding picking up women and dealing with
their tests, THOUSANDS of times.
So many times in fact, that he has CONDITIONED his emotions to such
strength, that women and other jealous guys' efforts at sabotaging him
simply cannot affect his SUPER RESOURCEFUL state of mind and inner
belief that he IS THE MAN.
This is very much like working out:
At first, you simply cannot lift a certain weight. It's too much. But
then, with repeated exposure to the stress, your muscles become
stronger and stronger and weights that once seemed impossible now seem
EASY.
But if you take a lay-off, suddenly, not only have you lost some
strength physically, but even EMOTIONALLY, you can get PSYCHED out by
looking at that now-intimidating 400 pound squat. It looks like INSANE
weight. Because you haven't done it in a while, and you're lacking
CONFIDENCE just as much as strength.
By the way, WOMEN are masters of reframing their reality as being the
superior one because they practice so much. They have been "working
out" their DOMINANT state of mind a lot. Yup, isn't it ironic that
it's WOMEN for the most part who dominate most men.
Women tend to INITIATE their encounters with men with unspoken yet
CLEAR demands - "Well, I only go with guys who have xyz job, height,
car, and who take me to xyz restaurant, vacation, and blah blah blah"
and most guys try to MATCH what women want instead of BLOWING THAT
ENTIRE FRAME TO BITS and telling women "whoa whoa.this is what **I**
WANT- xyz..
As soon as you even THINK along the terms of trying to BE what women
want, you are already a goner! Women will NEVER be attracted to a guy
who is trying to be what SHE tells him to be, verbally or
non-verbally. Plus, it's not only WOMEN'S frames you have to
challenge, but your OWN limiting frames!
A while ago, I was in a situation I have not been in for a while. In
general, if I am going to a club, I tend to go with friends. Well, it
so happened that my friends couldn't make it one night, so I figured I
would just "chill out" at home that night.
But I felt something wasn't right. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to
"chill out", or if I was just too uncomfortable to go out myself. I
didn't want to let my mental state weaken, I didn't want to give in to
the PRESSURE to stay home.
So I got out of the house, and went to a local uptown club, a small
place. Nothing much happening there, too quiet. I even decided to
check out a 24 hour drugstore nearby in the event there might be some
awesome girls there. No luck. So I bit the bullet, and started the
drive downtown. Man, it felt weird.
None of the usual laughing and joking around in the car with my
buddies, just pretty quiet and weird. It didn't feel good. It felt
UNCOMFORTABLE.
I felt a PRESSURE to just say heck with it and go home. After all, I
didn't NEED to go out. I had girls I could call. But I knew that there
was a WEAKNESS in my mental state that I wanted to correct. If I had
issues about going myself, then that needed to be fixed.
So I started to literally go over all the things I preach and talk
about. I actually visualized myself going to the club and having a
great time, and even thinking to myself "those poor chicks are
probably bored out of their mind just waiting for a fun dude like me
to come by and liven things up", and picturing the expressions on
their face as they laughed and had a great time, etc etc. It was
helping a bit, not completely, but the important thing is NOT GIVING
IN to the fear.
Have you ever been in this type of situation? Who hasn't?
Well, traffic was busy, finding parking was hell, all would have been
perfect excuses to just say "forget it, I'll go back home when my
buddies are available" etc. But then a gnawing thought crept in my
mind:
How about the fact that NICE GUYS finish LAST?
How about the fact that women have NO MERCY on the nice guy?
How about the fact that your SKILL is all you have to survive in the
world of women?
So I banished those weak thoughts and marched on. And I kept thinking
to myself, don't get negative, don't get negative. Anger, bitterness,
are the dark side of the force.
These girls are just girls like sisters and nieces and cousins and
moms, and they are just human beings who like to have a good time and
of course who love being around a guy who is THE MAN.
I enter the club and something comes over me:
I came here to HAVE A GOOD TIME, not to hurt anybody. I am going to
ADD VALUE to everyone's experience. I OWN this joint. A smile came
over me and all my negative thoughts evaporated. At that moment, I
knew it was ON. It was like all the adrenaline and anticipation now
transformed into pure calm energy.
I felt UNSTOPPABLE.
I started chatting up a group of girls the second I walked in, teasing
one on her hairdo and her friend for hanging out with her. Nice warm
up.
I'm not even thinking of "emails and telephone numbers"- I'm just
thinking of SOCIALIZING in a fun way. I start teasing some girl who
looks like Madonna, teasing her friend for talking with her hands too
much. She gives me that playful look like "you son of a" and punches
me in the shoulder. I tease her some more on her accent and she hits
me again, so I playfully make like I'm gonna fight and tell her "do
you want to take this outside/" and she bursts out laughing because we
are on a patio and ALREADY outside.
By this point, we are comfortable and already in a real conversation.
This stuff CHANGES your internal state. You MESH in and you just take
that energy with you to the next set of girls you chat up. Of course,
other girls see that other women are having a great time with you, and
suddenly your market value increases further. I walk away from the
evening having made several contacts and one group of girls even comes
with me for food after closing. I don't consider myself a magician or
guru. It's just practice. Anyone can do this.
The relevant point though is that had I not gone out, I would have
been one degree weaker emotionally. I would have felt too WEIRD to go
out alone. By confronting the fear and doing it anyway, I now have a
POSITIVE feeling associated with going out alone.
The crazy thing is that I came into learning all this stuff because
all I wanted was a solid relationship with a quality woman. I never
sought out to be dating tons of women at once. I never thought I would
even ENTER a club. I just wanted a good solid meaningful relationship
with a fun spunky girl that I could trust.
I avoided clubs and all that stuff because in general the atmosphere
is not consistent with the values necessary for a relationship. But
after being burned several times in relationships I realized that most
girls are avid club goers and they just lie to their new boyfriends
and tell the boyfriends that they are serious and not into clubs in
order to get their BOYFRIEND tamed while the girls continue to have
their "fun" .
Girls get away with it because they CAN. Because naïve guys don't
suspect the truth.
Women tend to get "serious" only when biological clocks start ticking.
Again, not ALL women are like this.
I repeat, not ALL.
Onward:
Anyway, I decided I had better not be a sucker. If I couldn't have a
quality relationship, I would at least not be a sucker. I'm about to
give an analogy that is going to sound extreme, but just hang on,
because it all boils down to power. And power/superiority is the
essence of all attraction.
In many ways, learning these skills puts you at the level of nuclear
parity that the superpowers had during the cold war. Both countries
knew that they could destroy each other, something called MUTUALLY
ASSURED DESTRUCTION. This was called MAD for short.
Because both both the USA and the USSR knew that the other side had
the power to destroy them, both sides refrained from attacking the
other. No one could win a nuclear war. Both sides would be assured
destruction. But you see, for most women, THESE DAYS, women know that
with most guys they actually CAN win a "nuclear war".
There is no MAD between men and women. Women have the power.
It is only a TINY percentage of men who have the M.A.D. deterrent with
women. Think of each guy that a woman can get at a club or anywhere as
a woman's nuclear arsenal. She has many missiles.
Take your average guy, and he has NO arsenal. She constantly uses the
subtle threat that OTHER guys will replace him if he does not kiss her
ass.
And of course, the more he kisses up, the less attracted she becomes.
But if a woman knows that the GUY has his own "nuclear arsenal", i.e.
that he can easily meet and attract TONS of other women just as she
can attract men, she will think TWICE before releasing her emotional
arsenal and trying to make him jealous etc. In other words, she knows
that any attempt to engage in an attack will result in M.A.D.
This is why I believe it is so important that every good guy on earth
learn the skills so that there can be at least a balance of power.
Do you think that I am kidding?
Ever hear of Patty Hearst?
She was from a rich family and kidnapped. Her kidnappers got her to
help them rob and do crime.
Guess what?
She fell in LOVE with her kidnappers. She was declared INNOCENT by the
courts. It was deemed that her emotions were based on her need for
SURVIVAL.
POWER, my friends, is what it's all about. It triggers SURVIVAL
instincts, it triggers ATTRACTION to that power. And remember, it's
not the ACTUAL power that counts, it's the PERCEPTION of it. That's
why there's a lot of dudes women find sexier than Bill Gates. And if
perception of power is what attraction is all about, then you can
understand why giving in to a woman who is mistreating you, or why
seeking a woman's approval, only results in RUINING her attraction.
It also explains why a guy who seems to be trying too hard to pick up
a girl seems needy and therefore unsexy.
I am not into overdoing it either. I am not saying to use the
principles I discuss to turn women into being obsessed with you. But I
am saying to help turn to tide toward BALANCE.
Honestly, most "good guys" have no idea what women are doing to them
behind their back.
They will tell a nice guy that they are so grateful to have him as a
"friend", they will pretend to be nuns and immaculate, meanwhile they
will be having the wildest times with bad boys all over town.
By the way, I actually RECOMMEND going out to clubs alone if you are
starting out, because it strips you of all excuses. You can't blame
anyone for screwing up. You can't blame your 'wingman' for screwing
you up, you can't blame him for giving you bad energy, etc.
TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN SUCCESS is CRUCIAL.
Don't expect to have a fan club at your side. Many people will even
make fun of you for attempting to do something that they themselves
are too scared to try. They'd rather just blame everyone else for why
their life sucks.
I also want to mention that for a long time, all I wanted was just to
meet one good woman for a serious relationship. And it was only after
getting screwed over time and again that I put the old b.s. notions of
what works into the incinerator.
The reason I mention this is because it's only when you develop a
super tough INTERNAL FRAME do you suddenly become ATTRACTIVE. You
exude an aura that says "I don't need your approval". Now, at
this point, now that I know what is really going on, and also now that
I have the power to make choices, I view the world of women very
differently. I still would like to find a great woman for a
relationship, but my self-esteem is not on hold till that day comes.
It's much easier to have a higher self esteem when you know you have
choices.
The best way to develop the DEEP ROOTED BELIEF THAT YOU ARE THE MAN,
THAT YOU ARE THE PRIZE, THAT YOU ARE DESIRABLE, is to put yourself
over and over again into situations that once freaked you out until
you become DESENSITIZED to them.
When women see that you are INSANELY COMFORTABLE, INSANELY CONGRUENT
WITH THE BELIEF THAT YOU ARE THE PRIZE, even when they throw TESTS in
your face, then you will see that women CANNOT HELP BUT BE SUPER
ATTRACTED TO YOU.
It's just TOO MUCH for them to believe anything EXCEPT that you are
THE PRIZE if you act so CONGRUENT to that picture.
This means that you actually DO have to approach women. If it means
screwing up, you should be PROUD of screwing up. Most guys are too
scared to screw up. Trust me, for a lot of women, they will reward a
guy just for having GUTS and not being spineless, even if what he says
doesn't so brilliant or funny.
There is no one magic key to attraction. once you have overcome the
fear, you will already be a huge step forward. From that point, you
will then be mastering your ability to gauge situations and decide if
you need to i.e. be more or less challenging, more open, etc,
depending on the woman in front of you.
Also, when your internal frame is super strong, suddenly you will
notice that women often (not always) respond to you POWERFULLY, and
QUICKLY.
This in itself is an education, because when you start to get awesome
treatment from women, you will look BACK at your past as if it were
right before your eyes. Like looking at a star millions of miles away,
you are seeing it NOW, yet you are actually seeing it the way it
appeared long long ago since light takes so many years to travel from
that star to the earth.
You will be able to objectively look at things that happened to you in
your past and only now will it all makes sense. You will suddenly
recognize how much b.s. you USED to tolerate from some women because
you USED to figured it was "just how life is with women". You will
KNOW it was b.s. because suddenly now women are able to treat you like
a KING, which means that the only reason in the past they DIDN'T treat
you well was not because they COULDN'T, or because they "didn't know
what they were doing" but because they CHOSE to take advantage of you.
When you have women treating you FANTASTICALLY, you will never again
accept b.s. because you will KNOW you deserve better and that you can
get better, and your total CONGRUENCE with this will actually make
women less likely to mistreat you ever. If a woman does happen to
mistreat you, you will only become stronger by immediately dumping her
and finding a better woman, thus further enhancing your INNER STATE
and congruence with being THE MAN. Which makes you even sexier to all
women.
Something else happens when you start having many options with women:
Suddenly, you start to become interested in tons of women than you may
NOT have had the slightest interest in before:
The reason for this is the same reason when you are at the checkout
counter the salesperson asks you "anything else" or "is that all"?
"Would you like fries with that?" lol.
The reason they are taught to ask you this question is because you are
ALREADY IN THE EMOTIONAL FRAME OF "WANTING TO GET STUFF".
Likewise, when you suddenly have tons of women that you can now "get",
and you start "getting" them, you can easily fall into the
psychological frame of "getting", and you will keep on wanting more
and more women, including women you have not previously even been
interested in. Similar to how when you go on a buying spree, you
sometimes buy all kinds of stuff that you later can't believe you
bought, but at the moment you bought that stuff it all seemed great.
Welcome to the reality of many women:
Put a woman in a club, and she has "buying" power, and when one guy
gets her interested, she is now in "wanting to buy/get guys" MODE, and
now suddenly TONS of guys that normally she would NOT be interested in
become DESIRABLE because she is in the FRAME of wanting to GET guys.
HER frame is more important than the guy in front of her.
This is one way some guys who know nothing about the "game" are able
to get "lucky"- they bumped into a woman who was already in the buying
frame because of some other dude who did have game or because she
simply was in the frame for another reason. Of course, she might
regret "buying" this guy by the next day, but by then it's often too
late.
By the way, women KNOW that these things often happen to them, where
they regret their decisions, which is why they try to PREVENT it from
happening, i.e. the day after going to a club, totally disregarding
any guy who tries to contact them who they met at the club the night
before.
 Women know that they can't TRUST their own decisions that they made
while in that high buying temperature atmosphere known as the
marketplace or the club. Which is why guys who know all of this make
sure to not seem like typical club guys who just go to make out with
women in the club, because the women will often regret this and try to
prevent future contact. Instead, they will NOT get too physical with
girls at first, so that the woman will later think "hmmm, he could be
trusted, since he didn't try to take advantage of my emotional state".
And if you haven't yet downloaded my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets
to Success with Women, then do that immediately. This book lays the
roadmap that you need for taking things all the way from how to meet
women to getting physical and relationships. This book is where it all
begins, your foundation to your incredible future with women.
Download it now at:
The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women book page
Till next time,
Michael W.
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