So how can you tell if a woman is doing something that says "I like you"?
Well, it's VERY important to remember that women are far more "subtle" than
men (most of the time, that is). If a man is interested in a woman, you can
see it all over his face. It's usually very obvious.
But women are different. Women do SMALL things. A little touch. A sly smile.
Sometimes a comment like "You're so cute" (as in your example above).
But then IT'S GONE.
Women always seem to act like they're not quite sure. They don't send
consistent signals that most men can "read". And when they DO send signals
that are easy to see, most guys respond in a way that makes those signals
stop... which makes things even MORE confusing. Again, women aren't as
CONSISTENT as men. A woman can seem like she's interested one minute, then
stand-offish the next.
So rule #1 is:
JUST BECAUSE SHE'S DOING SOMETHING THAT SAYS "I LIKE YOU", DON'T THINK THAT
IT MEANS "I LIKE YOU NO MATTER WHAT".
Much better to interpret subtle "I like you" cues as "I like you for a
second, but if you start acting like a Wuss Bag or Dumb Ass, it will all be
over in an instant".
Unfortunately for most guys, they take "I like you" signals to mean "You've
won my approval, now you can do whatever you want". And what do they do? Of
course... They turn into dorks, say or do a few stupid things, and destroy
it all. Oh, how many times I've watched guys (myself included) screw up
perfectly good situations because they just didn't get this concept.
Let me give you an example.
Let's say that you're out with a woman, and you've been teasing her, and she
smiles and says "I like you". A typical "male" response is for a guy to
think to himself "OK, I'm in... she digs me" and to get that rush in the
head and chest. Next thing you know, he's acting different. He's talking
about different things. He's giving compliments.
He's being "nicer".
And what's the woman thinking while this is all going on? Of course... she's
thinking "Uh oh, his cool, calm, interesting personality was just a cover
for the secret inner-Wuss that was hiding out, waiting for a little bit of
approval from me... AHHHHHH!"
Women KNOW that they're in control of the situation. Or at least MOST of the
time they are... and they THINK that they are even during the times when
they're not. They're constantly using different kinds of communication to
test and "feel out" the situation. Remember, MOST of the time when you're
saying something that you think is nice, charming, and original, it's
something that a woman has heard about 47 times that week from other guys.
Us guys act VERY predictably most of the time.
And women know how to tell if you're just another loser who's pretending to
be cool... who will turn into an average Wuss at the first sign of
attraction from a cute woman.
Think about what I just said.
This is hard for a lot of guys to swallow... but it's the reality of the
situation. There's something that women call "Sexual Tension". It's also
known as "Chemistry" or "Attraction" as well. But only WOMEN know it this
way. When you tease a woman, make her laugh, play hard to get with her, act
unpredictably, etc. in the right way, you will create this tension. This is
what usually leads to a woman saying something like "You're cute" or "I like
you".
It's the TENSION that makes her FEEL it and SAY it.
THE TENSION!
In these very special moments, you need to turn the tension UP. Dial it up.
AMPLIFY it. Don't diffuse it all by saying "You're cute yourself" or "I like
you, too". Or by smiling like a jackass wussy dork who has just seen his
first rainbow. This kind of thing RELEASES the tension, and it usually takes
that wonderful electric attraction feeling that the woman is feeling and
INSTANTLY kills it.
Does this make logical sense?
Hell no.
But it's what happens.
OK, so let's talk about the RIGHT way to handle this type of situation.
Remember when I said that it's the TENSION that makes a woman feel the
feelings and make the comments? And that you need to AMPLIFY it when you're
getting a positive response?
Nice.
Once upon a time, there was a scene in a movie that illustrated this concept
PERFECTLY. In fact, it might be the all-time greatest example of this
principle that has ever been recorded on film. Remember the end of "The
Empire Strikes Back" when they were about to put Han Solo into the deep
freeze?
Remember when Leia said "I love you"...?
Remember what Han said?
Right, he said... "I know".
Perfect.
All of the sexual tension that built up in Star Wars and Empire culminated
in Leia confessing her love. And Han says "I know".
Awesome!
Imagine being Leia. What could be going through her mind at this point? An
answer like this isn't easy to understand. It has all kinds of implications.
It's confusing.
It says "I know you love me, because it's been obvious for a long time...".
But it doesn't let HER know how he feels exactly. It requires consideration.
It dials up the tension. It's amazing. By the way, I read that when they
were filming that scene Han was supposed to answer "I love you too", but the
director didn't like it. They tried all kinds of things, and in the end
Harrison Ford made up that line on the spot in one of the takes... and they
kept it. Nice. By the way, one of the BIG reasons why the newer movies in
the Star Wars series suck is because there is no
character like Han... think about it. It's all boring, predictable stuff.
There's no sexy, arrogant, funny, wildcard personality messing things up.
Like I pointed out after I saw "Attack Of The Clones", Anakin had to kill an
ENTIRE VILLAGE of Sand People just to convince Princess A. that he wasn't a
complete and total Wuss. Would have been so much easier and more
entertaining if he would have just had a PERSONALITY.
Whatever.
Now where was I...?
Oh, yea... amplifying the sexual tension...
If you're out with a woman, and you tease her because she's wearing four
inch heels by saying "What's the deal, are you four feet tall without those
one?", and she opens her mouth with the classic "Oh no you didn't" look
(smiling of course, with that surprised smile)... and you dial it up to the
next level with "Oh, I'm sorry... Four foot three?"... and she hits you on
the arm...
...and then she stops, puts her hand on your arm, and says "You know, you're
funny"...
...what do you do?
YOU SAY "YEA, I KNOW" – in a serious tone.
Or "Don't try to use compliments to make me like you. It won't work. Go buy
me a drink or something... I prefer gifts and money." Or look down at her
hand on your arm, lean back slightly, turn your head, and put your eyebrows
together as if to say "Just WHAT do you think you're doing touching me?!".
TURN IT UP, my friend!
You TURN UP the tension.
AMPLIFY it.
Keep it going.
If you keep amplifying the tension and attraction at each of these wonderful
moments, good things will happen.
Good stuff.
OK, I have a question.
Want more killer ideas like this one? What if I told you that there was a
place you could go and download an eBook that contained literally DOZENS and
DOZENS of great ideas like this one?
Well, there is. Of course, it's my eBook "Double Your Dating". Inside,
you'll learn about all of my personal favorite techniques for dealing with
all kinds of situations with women.
This might sound a little strange, but I actually read my own book to brush
up on concepts, and remind myself of how to handle different situations. It
took me a few years to learn, test, refine, and organize all of the awesome
techniques that are included, and you'll understand why I speak so highly of
it when you go and get a copy.
It's here... you can download it and be reading it in a few minutes:
www.doubleyourdating.com
- just follow the 'ebook' link and download your copy.
...and read it, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
David D.
P.S. As you can probably imagine, I get a TON of email... So if you'd like
to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate
all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your
stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the
specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in
different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of
the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're
from.
5) Send it to me at:
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