If you were hiring a bodyguard, would you want one that said "Yea, I can be
a bodyguard. Just give me some time to learn..." or would you want one that
already KNEW how to kick ass anytime, anywhere without having to learn?
Duh.
Well same goes with women. They don't WANT a guy that they have to train. If
you don't already have the UNIVERSAL FOUNDATION of what attracts women, then
no amount of changing and improving things like your communication and
sensitivity is going to help you.
WHAT IS A REAL MAN?
Lately I've been thinking a lot about the idea of a "Real Man". You hear
both women and men using the term. But what does it actually MEAN? And is it
important?
Well, after thinking about this particular topic for a long time, I've come
to the conclusion that it is a VERY important topic. At this point, I
believe that a REAL MAN is this "ideal" that women imagine when they're
saying "I want a guy who is sensitive". They're thinking of the REAL MAN,
and then they're imagining him ALSO being sensitive. There are a lot of
aspects to this REAL MAN. Here are a few that are important:
-Status
-Lack of Insecurities
-Standards
-Experience
-Humor
-Unpredictability
-Leadership
-Challenge
...and the list goes on.
It's actually not easy to describe a REAL MAN in a few sentences... but I'll
tell you what... a woman can recognize one INSTANTLY.
THE MISTAKE MEN MAKE
Now, a common mistake that men make is taking something that a woman SAYS
that she wants, and doing it TOO MUCH, thinking that if "A little bit is
good, then more must be better". For instance, a woman SAYS that she likes
guys who are "thoughtful". So you go out and buy her a bunch of gifts, and
give her cute cards every time you see her, and call her all the time to
tell her that you miss her.
What happens? She leaves you for her jerk ex-boyfriend.
Huh?
This would be kind of like a woman saying "My favorite food is chocolate"
and then you thinking it would be good to feed her chocolate for every meal
just because it's her favorite... or adding chocolate to every single dish
you make for her from now on... and forgetting that 97% of what she eats
still needs to be OTHER FOODS.
Let me land the plane for you.
Women don't MEAN what you THINK they mean when they talk about what they
want in a man. And if you take the things women say too literally, you're
going to wind up shooting yourself in the foot.
WHAT WOMEN REALLY MEAN...
So let me "decode" what women "really" mean when they say common things.
Consider this your own personal "female language translator". Refer to it
often.
WHEN A WOMAN SAYS...
"I want a guy who is sensitive."
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS...
"I want a guy who is busy doing his own thing in life, who has goals and
objectives... who has passion for things. If we're out together, he always
keeps me on my toes, and I'm always wondering what's going to happen next.
He's challenging, interesting, and funny. I would really like it if he was
also sensitive enough to know when I need a hug, or to be held, or when I
want him to make love to me." Does this make sense?
Again, she's not imagining a picture of a boring, predictable, Wussy who is
sharing his hurt feelings because he's so "sensitive". Big difference.
WHEN A WOMAN SAYS...
"I want a guy who is in touch with his feelings."
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS...
"I want a guy who is strong-willed, and who doesn't get upset about petty
things... a guy who can deal with the fact that I freak out emotionally
sometimes... and who knows how to be cool when things are tough. But I also
want him to be in touch with his feelings so that:
1) He doesn't repress his emotions and then eventually kill 10 people in his
workplace, and
2) When he's intimate with me, and he feels a passionate rush... he'll grab
me and make love to me like a beast!"
What she's NOT doing is making a picture of a meek, afraid guy who calls all
the time to ask "Do you like me? Because I sure like you".
WHEN A WOMAN SAYS:
"I want a guy who's a good communicator."
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS...
"I want a guy who doesn't talk all the time, because he knows how to let me
know what's on his mind without using words. I want the kind of guy that can
touch me in a certain way and I feel tingles all over my body. And I want
the kind of guy that can say things in a way that I understand... not
crudely and man-like."
WHAT ABOUT "SEXY"?
You'll often hear women saying that they what a "Sexy Man". Now, I USED to
think that they meant that they wanted a PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE man when they
said this. Sometimes this is exactly what they mean when they use the term
"sexy". But I've found that, most of the time, women mean something TOTALLY
different when they use the term "sexy".
You see, a woman generally bases more of her life around what she FEELS than
a man does. And the concept of "sexy" is usually used to describe the way a
man makes a woman FEEL than it is used to describe how HE LOOKS. Think about
women's romance novels for a moment. Women's romance novels account for
about a fifth of ALL BOOKS SOLD.
What do these books contain?
WORDS. Words that DESCRIBE things. Descriptions that make women FEEL things.
My point: If you want to learn how to be a "sexy man", then the way you LOOK
isn't the most IMPORTANT thing.
I'll tell you something, too. Learning the secrets of being a "sexy man" can
be a very rewarding experience. A lot of guys out there, including me, know
EXACTLY what it's like to be either on a date with, or in a relationship
with a woman who has NO INTENTION of being with you "physically". In other
words, she's just not feeling that powerful "sexual" ATTRACTION for you. And
you don't know how to MAKE her feel it. Well, let me tell you...
Just like all the other things that a woman "says" that she wants in a
man... that most men don't ever "get", being SEXY is one of the BIG ONES. If
you understand the secrets of being SEXY, you will notice that women start
to behave VERY differently around you.
For more specific techniques and step-by-step systems for becoming all of
these things that I've mentioned above, INCLUDING "sexy", then I recommend
that you check out my online eBook, and my Advanced Dating Techniques
program.
My eBook "Double Your Dating" comes with three FREE bonus reports. One of
these reports is called "Sex Secrets", and it teaches you how to take things
from one step to the next when it comes to "getting physical" with a woman.
If you do these things, you will INSTANTLY make a woman realize and remember
that you are a SEXY man. I absolutely guarantee it.
You can read some great free samples, and download it here right now:
www.doubleyourdating.com
- just follow the 'ebook' link and download your copy.
...and read it, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
David D.
P.S. As you can probably imagine, I get a TON of email... So if you'd like
to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate
all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your
stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the
specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in
different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of
the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're
from.
5) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@doubleyourdating.com
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