REASON #4: THEY PSYCH THEMSELVES OUT.
Smart guys do something that fascinates the hell out of me... They come up
with all the reasons why everything WON'T WORK when it comes to women and
dating. They actually figure out why what they would like to do will
probably fail...
They use their amazing creative imaginations to imagine all kinds of
horrible pictures and scenes... and then they use those imaginary outcomes
to create negative emotions... which ultimately stop them from having
success with women and dating.
THEY DON'T EVEN TRY.
Now, if you've thought something through and come up with a good reason why
it would fail, it makes sense to not do it, right? I mean, why would you
want to do things that are going to fail?
It's sound logic, but HORRIBLE thinking when it comes to the REAL WORLD...
and success with women. Because smart guys don't UNDERSTAND women, and they
don't UNDERSTAND what it takes to be successful with women, they are working
with bad figures. They're wrong before they even start figuring! Using your
mind to come up with all the reasons why things won't work in this area of
your life leads to ULTIMATE FAILURE.
You must learn to overcome this habit if you have it.
REASON #5: THEY SEEK ONLY "INFORMATIONAL SOLUTIONS"
What does a smart guy do when he runs into a problem... or he needs to
figure something out? He looks for INFORMATION to help him solve the
problem. MORE INFORMATION is always the answer. Information is the friend of
a smart guy. Got a strange virus on your computer? Just hop on the internet
and search for how to eliminate it. Don't know how to change the alternator
on your car? No prob. Just buy the manual and turn to page 147. Don't know
the definition of a word? Open up your dictionary.
MORE INFORMATION solves the problem. So what do smart guys do when it comes
to overcoming a problem with women?
They want MORE INFORMATION.
They think the answer lies in learning just ONE MORE TECHNIQUE... or one
more magic concept. Well what if there were a situation in life where the
"get more information" strategy actually made things WORSE? How would you
even know that it was making things worse?
Now, I don't want to suggest that learning more about how to be successful
with women is a bad thing. It's not. But if you have a problem that is
EMOTIONAL or PHYSICAL in nature, then reading five million theories on it
probably isn't going to help you very much. You need to get out in the real
world and try some stuff! You need to look at the REAL problem... the ROOT
of the problem.
When it comes to women and dating, there's a very good chance that you have
MORE than enough "information". Smart guys often use "more information" to
distract them from TAKING ACTION. I've heard this referred to as "Creative
Avoidance".
Nod silently if you've ever figured out a creative way to avoid facing
something in your life.
Good, thank you.
REASON #6: THEY FOCUS ON LOGIC INSTEAD OF EMOTION.
NEWS JUST IN: Women don't feel ATTRACTION for men who make them THINK. Women
feel ATTRACTION for men who make them FEEL. So what do most smart guys do
when they first meet a woman?
EXACTLY!
They get into a LOGICAL CONVERSATION. I'm shaking my head right now...
Smart men try to engage women in LOGICAL conversations and interactions
because that's where THEY feel comfortable... not knowing that they're
SHOOTING THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT by doing it!
Get this: A monkey sitting at a typewriter will type the collected works of
Shakespeare before you will make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you by engaging
her in logical conversation. When you start a logical conversation with a
woman you've just met, you are basically taking out a NEON SIGN that says "I
don't get it when it comes to women" and putting it on your head.
Typical "logical" conversations include talking about work, family, school,
and jobs... discussing politics, religion, weather... and anything that has
to do with math, science, or INTELLIGENCE.
On the other hand, if you start talking to a woman and you say "OK, so tell
me something... Why is it that all women say that they want sweet, nice
guys... but they all date sexy, selfish bad boys?" (and then make fun of any
answer she gives) you're having an EMOTIONAL conversation.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, keep reading. You need more help
than I thought.
REASON #7: THEY'RE NOT USED TO THE CHALLENGE OF THE MOMENT.
Smart people usually have time to THINK about things. If you're taking a
test, you can sit there and work out the answers. If you have a math
problem, you can work on it until you've figured it out. If you're trying to
fix something, you can keep working on it until it's fixed. Smart guys are
used to being able to take at least a LITTLE bit of time to prepare and show
off their "good sides" in most situations.
Not so with women...
If you don't know what to do at every step along the way, you'll be shut
down very quickly. Women have an AMAZING "He doesn't get it" radar system.
Women have all kinds of subtle and ingenious tests that they throw at men to
separate the "get its" from the "don't get its".
And if you don't get it, then you're going to fail one of these tests VERY
quickly. But the worst part is that you won't ever KNOW that you were being
tested... OR that you failed. Smart guys aren't used to dealing with complex
EMOTIONAL and COMMUNICATION challenges in the moment... and especially the
"women and dating" kind. One of they keys to becoming more successful with
women and dating is learning to handle all of the tests that women throw at
you effortlessly.
But before you can learn how to deal with the tests, you must first learn
how to communicate on an emotional level, how to demonstrate that you have
fundamental social skills, and how to keep your cool in the moment.
REASON #8: THEY THINK THAT DOING "NICE" THINGS IS THE "SMART WAY"
OK, let me ask you a trick question: If I told you that you were going to
have a date with the supermodel of your choice, which of the following would
you choose as a "smart" way of preparing:
1) Find out what her favorite type of flowers are, and show up with a dozen
of them so she would be "wowed".
2) Learn about her favorite travel destination so you could discuss it with
her.
3) Find out what her favorite type of food is so you could take her to
dinner... and she could see that you cared enough to choose something that
she enjoyed.
OK, time's up. Which did you choose?
Now, I already mentioned that this was a TRICK question. The answer is NONE
OF THE ABOVE.
But WHY? These three options all seemed logical, right? I mean, why WOULDN'T
you want to show up with her favorite flowers? Why WOULDN'T you want to talk
about her favorite places to travel? Why WOULDN'T you want to take her to
eat her favorite foods so she enjoyed herself?
Go with me here...
Smart guys think that they're being CLEVER when they do things like buying a
woman her favorite flowers... and bringing them to the FIRST DATE.
Right?
In their minds, they're thinking "I'm going to be the guy who is thinking
ahead... and I'm going to show up with the flowers that I KNOW
she loves... and she's going to see them and like me more because of it".
Makes sense... good math, right? Well the one teensy-weensy mistake that
these "smart" guys make is not realizing that it doesn't actually take a
smart person to think like this!
In fact, ANY jackass can figure out how to kiss a woman's ass. And guess
what?
WOMEN KNOW THIS!
And guess what else? EVERY WUSSBAG DOES THIS STUFF.
An intelligent guy, in his proud arrogance, will think he's being such the
charmer by using this "thoughtful" approach...
...and the woman he is chasing will interpret it as just another Wussy who's
trying to MANIPULATE her.
Ouch. Another blow to intelligence.
MISTAKE #9: ALWAYS NEEDING TO BE THE EXPERT
Have you ever met a smart guy who always needed to be "right"? Have you ever
met someone who would actually argue with you about something they knew
nothing about... and make a fool of themselves because they just couldn't
shut their "smart mouths"? Over the last few years helping guys improve
their success with women, I see this one pattern over and over again...
Smart guys don't like to be "beginners" at ANYTHING. They don't like the
idea of screwing up... especially if others are watching. They want to
maintain this "smart guy" image of themselves... so they try to always be
"The Expert" at whatever they do.
Instead of saying "Hey, you know what? I'm a beginner at this... how do I do
it? What should I do first? What next?"... and instead of being totally OK
with screwing up, making mistakes, and making a fool of themselves in front
of others in order to LEARN...
...they won't risk embarrassment, failure, or others thinking that they're
beginners... so they wind up ultimately FAILING.
MORE NEWS JUST IN: It's OK to be a beginner.
MISTAKE #10: THEY CAN'T DEAL WITH FEAR AND OTHER EMOTIONS
A smart guy's STRENGTH is his MIND. His WEAKNESS is often his EMOTIONS.
Smart guys are often IMMOBILIZED by FEAR. Totally stopped.
FROZEN.
And since many smart guys aren't comfortable dealing with things they're not
good at, they just repress or RUN away from fear. Many men would rather DIE
in lonely isolation than admit that they don't know how to deal with their
emotions... or, GODFORBID, ask for help! Hey, I went for YEARS like this.
I know what it's like. But the reality is that any guy can learn to handle
and even MASTER his emotions (even fear)... if he just takes the time and
effort to learn HOW to do it. If this is you, then do yourself a big
favor... take the time. Take the effort.
Don't worry about what anyone else thinks of you... it doesn't matter. What
matters is you doing the things that YOU need to do FOR YOU.
...I think the reason why I'm so fascinated with "The Genius Failure
Paradox" is because I have had to struggle with all of these issues for a
lot of years of my life. Now, I'm not saying that I'm the smartest guy on
the planet...
But I don't think mamma raised no fool.
And it always bothered the hell out of me that even though I was so good at
figuring things out, I couldn't figure WOMEN out. Something tells me that
you know what I'm talking about. Well, after beating my head against the
wall for a few years... trying all kinds of crazy "logical" stuff... I
finally got the "bright" idea to start studying guys who were "naturally"
good with women.
Of course, I found out that you could be both NOT SMART, and VERY SUCCESSFUL
WITH WOMEN at the same time. I also learned that you can be SMART and VERY
SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN too.
By carefully studying what the "naturals" did with women... and learning how
they "thought" about the topic, I began to realize that success with women
wasn't entirely LOGICAL. Much of what I learned was very tough for me to
accept... because my logical brain just didn't want to buy into it.
One thing I saw was guys pushing women away from them... and having the
women then chase them in response.
Made no sense at all.
I saw guys tease beautiful women and make jokes about them to their faces...
and then watched those women become "little girls" in
response... unable to maintain their composure, and therefore unable to
maintain their manipulative power...
It took me quite a long time, but I continued to learn, test, and refine
what I was learning until I personally figured out how to approach women in
any situation... get any woman's number I wanted anytime I wanted... date
any type of woman I wanted...
...and most importantly, GET RID of that "empty" feeling that I carried
around my whole life because I didn't know how to attract women.
And once I got this area of my own life together, I decided to help other
guys get this area of THEIR lives together.
And if you haven't downloaded my online eBook "Double Your Dating", then you
need to go and do that now. You can download it and be reading it within a
few minutes from right now. You can download it here:
www.doubleyourdating.com
- just follow the 'ebook' link and download your copy.
You'll even learn 'The
Kiss Test',
when and how to get the first kiss with the woman you're with.
...and read it, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
David D.
P.S. As you can probably imagine, I get a TON of email... So if you'd like
to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate
all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your
stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the
specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in
different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of
the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're
from.
5) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@doubleyourdating.com
(c) 2007 David DeAngelo, All Rights Reserved. By
accepting and reading this article you agree that: You understand this to be an opinion and not professional
advice, it is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes, you are solely responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold David DeAngelo harmless. http://www.doubleyourdating.com
500+ Dating Service Reviews 
