Why Women Reject Men ... And What To Do About It
The interesting part of this particular secret that I'm going to share with you is that it involves CONFLICT.
And it involves conflict on more than one level.
Because this particular issue involves such a touchy and emotional topic (conflict), one which most people like to AVOID rather than talk about, I have to ask you to read this email ALL THE WAY THROUGH before making any judgments or decisions about how you're going to use what I'm going to share...
OK, so here's the concept in a nutshell
WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION, SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO DO THINGS THAT SEEM "MEAN" OR "INCONSIDERATE" ON THE SURFACE IN ORDER TO GIVE A WOMAN WHAT SHE "REALLY" WANTS. IF YOU DON'T DO THESE THINGS, YOU WILL FAIL THE TEST, AND ULTIMATELY FAIL WITH THE WOMAN.
By the way, I really struggled with the idea of writing this particular newsletter. It's not always easy to explain things like this particular idea, and I know that I will lose subscribers, have some women get upset with me, and cause a little bit of commotion. But ultimately I do believe in what I'm sharing, so I feel that I have to say it.
As I've mentioned many times in these articles and in my products, women
aren't attracted to men who have lower STATUS than themselves. This is
one of the reasons why there is a lot of tension around the ideas of:
-A taller woman with a shorter guy
-A woman making more money than her spouse
-A man being "led around" by his female partner
...etc. etc. etc.
These are "naturally" sensitive issues, because these issues hint that the man is "lower status", and somehow we all know that this is somehow "not right".
Now I'd like to give you a situation that you may even have personally experienced (in fact, there's a pretty good chance that you have), and use it as an example to explain the principle I'm explaining.
Here's the situation
You're going out on a date with a woman. You ask her where SHE'D like to
go for dinner. She doesn't give you an answer, and seems to be
So you ask her what her FAVORITE restaurant is. She says "Well, I really like this one particular place, but it's up to you".
You say "But I really want to take you wherever YOU want to go... you decide".
You can hear in her voice that she's actually beginning to get annoyed. This confuses you, since you're just trying to find out what she wants so you can give it to her.
You finally decide to just take her to her favorite place, since... well... DUH, it's her favorite place, so she's obviously going to enjoy it.
As the evening goes on, you can sense that she's in a bad mood, but you can't understand why or how this could be. The evening ends on a bad note, even though you went out of your way to make it nice for her.
...OK, sound familiar?
Let's try another one
You meet a woman, get her number, and meet her for a cup of tea. She's unusually attractive and beautiful, and at the first meeting you realize that she's also intelligent and successful. This woman is obviously exceptional. After the meeting you go home and think about her.
You decide that it would be good to call her to tell her that you had a great time, and ask her out again. You pick up the phone and call her. You tell her what a great time you had with her, and ask her if you can see her again the next night. She agrees.
The next night, you have a wonderful dinner, and great conversation. At the end of the evening, you start talking to her, and you tell her that you can't believe how beautiful, intelligent, and sweet she is, and that you are already beginning to have feelings for her.
She smiles and says "thank you", but doesn't offer any comments in return.
The next day, you decide to call her and ask her out again. She doesn't answer her phone, and doesn't return your call. You get an email from her three days later saying "I'm sorry, I just need some time alone right now. I really like you, but I think we should just be friends."
Even though it was obvious that you were both having a great time and
enjoying each other's company...
something went wrong. You somehow suspect that it had to do with the fact that you shared how you felt with her, but you have no way of knowing.
And how about a third scenario
You meet a nice girl, get her email and number, and call her to make
plans to get together.
She flakes out on you, and doesn't show up for your first meeting.
You call her later that day and ask her what happened.
She explains that she got busy and wound up having to help her best friend who was going through a crisis.
You say "Oh, that's OK. No problem. Can we meet tomorrow instead?"
She says "Sure, give me a call then and we'll talk about it".
The next day when you call, she's not home, and she doesn't return your call.
You call her the following day, and she has another excuse for why she wasn't around and why she didn't return your phone call.
You keep calling to ask her out, but she keeps being busy, and eventually stops talking to you altogether.
Ever had THAT happen?
HERE'S THE KICKER...
In the first situation, the best thing to do would have been to just decide where YOU wanted to go for dinner, then take her there.
In the second situation, the best thing to do would have been to NOT call her right after you met for coffee, NOT go out the next night, NOT share how you "feel" so quickly, and actually LEAN BACK a little and give her space and time to miss you and pursue YOU a bit.
In the third situation, the best thing to do would have been to NOT TOLERATE the fact that she flaked out, and to actually CONFRONT her with her poor behavior, then to NOT call her for awhile (if at all), and to make sure she understood that it isn't acceptable to waste your time ever again.
SO WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?
And why is it that sometimes, when you're trying your very damn best to be nice, considerate, honest, open, and respectful, women DIS you and run? Why is it that doing things that seem inconsiderate are best in some situations?
Well, part of the answer is that ATTRACTION isn't like other areas of life.
Attraction isn't a CHOICE, for one thing. We don't go through a logical decision-making process and carefully consider who we're going to be attracted to.
It just HAPPENS.
And attraction isn't triggered by being NICE.
In fact, as ironic as this sounds, some of the characters in movies and
romance novels that are considered to be the SEXIEST are mean, nasty, and
horrible! Go watch Marlon Brando in "A Streetcar Named Desire". Women will
tell you that he is a SEXY BITCH in that movie.
Oh, by the way, he also beats his wife and rapes his wife's sister in that movie.
Attraction is NOT triggered by being nice and considerate.
Often, ATTRACTION is triggered by things that make no sense at all, and it's destroyed by things that SHOULD make it stronger.
Now, I'm not saying that you should treat women badly. Of course that's not a good idea.
I believe that you can take what I'm sharing and actually treat women VERY well. But if you don't understand the psychology of the situation and the psychology of ATTRACTION, and know how to handle situations like the ones I've just mentioned, you will fail the tests, and ultimately not succeed with women and dating most of the time.
To put this in plain, simple words, women aren't attracted to WUSSIES.
Women are ATTRACTED to men who DECIDE, who LEAD, who are in CONTROL. Women feel that gut-level emotional attraction for men who have DIRECTION... men who make decisions and then take action on those decisions... NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS.
This is why you can ask a woman what she wants, take her to her favorite restaurant, tell her how you feel about her, and have get ANNOYED at you.
It's because you made a BIGGER mistake while you were trying to be "nice". When you asked her what SHE wanted to do, you put HER in CONTROL. This is annoying to women. When you couldn't make up your mind where to take her, and wound up taking her to her favorite restaurant, you demonstrated that you can't LEAD. Again, by being "nice and considerate" in one way, you were making a HUGE mistake on another level.
The reason why it's hard for me to express this thought and explain this concept is because this isn't exactly great news about life.
It means that you have to deal with and accept the fact that you might have to do something in a situation that seems "inconsiderate" in order to actually "do the right thing".
I have one friend who is VERY good with women who says that if you can get into an argument when you first meet a woman, she'll be far more likely to sleep with you.
This really shook me up when I first heard it, because this isn't something I wanted to hear. But then I thought about it and realized that "jerks" often have the most beautiful women around them... and these hot women will often endure all kinds of abuse just to be with the jerk.
So there it is.
Sometimes you have to do things that don't seem to "make sense" or be "considerate" in order to make and keep a woman attracted to you... and ultimately give a woman what she REALLY wants.
I've spent the last few years taking what I've learned about how to be successful with women and dating, and distilled the process of ATTRACTION down to a few keys. I've also done something that I'm very excited about... I've figured out how to do the things that make women feel that powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION... but without any of the ABUSE that jerks use.
I now honestly believe that it's possible to treat women well, while being
interesting, challenging, ATTRACTIVE, and sexy at the same time.
But you have to know how.
It all starts with understanding the basic principles like the one I've just discussed, the origin and evolution of ATTRACTION, the beliefs and values of "naturally" successful guys, and, of course, the specific techniques and strategies to use in different situations to do things like approach women, get numbers, get dates, and take things to a physical level...
And where is the best place to learn all of these things, from the foundation to the specific techniques for how to be successful with women and dating?
My original eBook "Double Your Dating", then you need to do that now. It's the basic foundation for everything I teach in these newsletters, and it's an absolute must-read. Read samples and find out more.
Everything you read in these articles will make more sense once you have read the book.
...and watch it in action, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
(c) Robert Lee, aLoveLinksPlus.com and David DeAngelo Inc. All Rights Reserved.