DATING
TIP: Why Women Reject Men ... And What To Do About It
Visit the Double Your Dating website
www.doubleyourdating.com
I'd like to share a secret to success with women that I've been thinking
about and using for awhile now.
The interesting part of this particular secret that I'm going to share
with you is that it involves CONFLICT.
And it involves conflict on more than one level.
Because this particular issue involves such a touchy and emotional topic
(conflict), one which most people like to AVOID rather than talk about,
I have to ask you to read this email ALL THE WAY THROUGH before making
any judgments or decisions about how you're going to use what I'm going
to share...
Fair enough?
OK, so here's the concept in a nutshell:
WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION, SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO DO THINGS THAT SEEM
"MEAN" OR "INCONSIDERATE" ON THE SURFACE IN ORDER TO GIVE A WOMAN WHAT
SHE "REALLY" WANTS. IF YOU DON'T DO THESE THINGS, YOU WILL FAIL THE
TEST, AND ULTIMATELY FAIL WITH THE WOMAN.
By the way, I really struggled with the idea of writing this particular
newsletter. It's not always easy to explain things like this particular
idea, and I know that I will lose subscribers, have some women get upset
with me, and cause a little bit of commotion. But ultimately I do
believe in what I'm sharing, so I feel that I have to say it.
Onward.
As I've mentioned many times in these articles and in my products, women
aren't attracted to men who have lower STATUS than themselves. This is
one of the reasons why there is a lot of tension around the ideas of:
-A taller woman with a shorter guy
-A woman making more money than her spouse
-A man being "led around" by his female partner
...etc. etc. etc.
These are "naturally" sensitive issues, because these issues hint that
the man is "lower status", and somehow we all know that this is somehow
"not right".
Now I'd like to give you a situation that you may even have personally
experienced (in fact, there's a pretty good chance that you have), and
use it as an example to explain the principle I'm explaining.
Here's the situation:
You're going out on a date with a woman. You ask her where SHE'D like to
go for dinner. She doesn't give you an answer, and seems to be
indifferent.
So you ask her what her FAVORITE restaurant is.
She says "Well, I really like this one particular place, but it's up to
you".
You say "But I really want to take you wherever YOU want to go... you
decide".
You can hear in her voice that she's actually beginning to get annoyed.
This confuses you, since you're just trying to find out what she wants
so you can give it to her.
You finally decide to just take her to her favorite place, since...
well... DUH, it's her favorite place, so she's obviously going to enjoy
it.
As the evening goes on, you can sense that she's in a bad mood, but you
can't understand why or how this could be. The evening ends on a bad
note, even though you went out of your way to make it nice for her.
...OK, sound familiar?
Let's try another one:
You meet a woman, get her number, and meet her for a cup of tea. She's
unusually attractive and beautiful, and at the first meeting you realize
that she's also intelligent and successful. This woman is obviously
exceptional.
After the meeting you go home and think about her.
A LOT.
You decide that it would be good to call her to tell her that you had a
great time, and ask her out again. You pick up the phone and call her.
You tell her what a great time you had with her, and ask her if you can
see her again the next night. She agrees.
The next night, you have a wonderful dinner, and great conversation. At
the end of the evening, you start talking to her, and you tell her that
you can't believe how beautiful, intelligent, and sweet she is, and that
you are already beginning to have feelings for her.
She smiles and says "thank you", but doesn't offer any comments in
return.
The next day, you decide to call her and ask her out again. She doesn't
answer her phone, and doesn't return your call. You get an email from
her three days later saying "I'm sorry, I just need some time alone
right now. I really like you, but I think we should just be friends."
Even though it was obvious that you were both having a great time and
enjoying each other's company...
something went wrong. You somehow suspect that it had to do with the
fact that you shared how you felt with her, but you have no way of
knowing.
And how about a third scenario:
You meet a nice girl, get her email and number, and call her to make
plans to get together.
She flakes out on you, and doesn't show up for your first meeting.
You call her later that day and ask her what happened.
She explains that she got busy and wound up having to help her best
friend who was going through a crisis.
You say "Oh, that's OK. No problem. Can we meet tomorrow instead?"
She says "Sure, give me a call then and we'll talk about it".
The next day when you call, she's not home, and she doesn't return your
call.
You call her the following day, and she has another excuse for why she
wasn't around and why she didn't return your phone call.
You keep calling to ask her out, but she keeps being busy, and
eventually stops talking to you altogether.
Ever had THAT happen?
HERE'S THE KICKER...
In the first situation, the best thing to do would have been to just decide
where YOU wanted to go for dinner, then take her there.
In the second situation, the best thing to do would have been to NOT call
her right after you met for coffee, NOT go out the next night, NOT share how
you "feel" so quickly, and actually LEAN BACK a little and give her space
and time to miss you and pursue YOU a bit.
In the third situation, the best thing to do would have been to NOT TOLERATE
the fact that she flaked out, and to actually CONFRONT her with her poor
behavior, then to NOT call her for awhile (if at all), and to make sure she
understood that it isn't acceptable to waste your time ever again.
SO WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?
And why is it that sometimes, when you're trying your very damn best to be
nice, considerate, honest, open, and respectful, women DIS you and run? Why
is it that doing things that seem inconsiderate are best in some situations?
Well, part of the answer is that ATTRACTION isn't like other areas of life.
Attraction isn't a CHOICE, for one thing. We don't go through a logical
decision-making process and carefully consider who we're going to be
attracted to.
NO WAY.
It just HAPPENS.
POW!
And attraction isn't triggered by being NICE.
In fact, as ironic as this sounds, some of the characters in movies and
romance novels that are considered to be the SEXIEST are mean, nasty, and
horrible! Go watch Marlon Brando in "A Streetcar Named Desire". Women will
tell you that he is a SEXY BITCH in that movie.
Oh, by the way, he also beats his wife and rapes his wife's sister in that
movie.
Attraction is NOT triggered by being nice and considerate.
Often, ATTRACTION is triggered by things that make no sense at all, and it's
destroyed by things that SHOULD make it stronger.
Now, I'm not saying that you should treat women badly. Of course that's not
a good idea.
I believe that you can take what I'm sharing and actually treat women VERY
well. But if you don't understand the psychology of the situation and the
psychology of ATTRACTION, and know how to handle situations like the ones
I've just mentioned, you will fail the tests, and ultimately not succeed
with women and dating most of the time.
To put this in plain, simple words, women aren't attracted to WUSSIES.
Women are ATTRACTED to men who DECIDE, who LEAD, who are in CONTROL. Women
feel that gut-level emotional attraction for men who have DIRECTION... men
who make decisions and then take action on those decisions... NO MATTER WHAT
ANYONE ELSE THINKS.
This is why you can ask a woman what she wants, take her to her favorite
restaurant, tell her how you feel about her, and have get ANNOYED at you.
It's because you made a BIGGER mistake while you were trying to be "nice".
When you asked her what SHE wanted to do, you put HER in CONTROL. This is
annoying to women. When you couldn't make up your mind where to take her,
and wound up taking her to her favorite restaurant, you demonstrated that
you can't LEAD. Again, by being "nice and considerate" in one way, you were
making a HUGE mistake on another level.
The reason why it's hard for me to express this thought and explain this
concept is because this isn't exactly great news about life.
It means that you have to deal with and accept the fact that you might have
to do something in a situation that seems "inconsiderate" in order to
actually "do the right thing".
I have one friend who is VERY good with women who says that if you can get
into an argument when you first meet a woman, she'll be far more likely to
sleep with you.
This really shook me up when I first heard it, because this isn't something
I wanted to hear. But then I thought about it and realized that "jerks"
often have the most beautiful women around them... and these hot women will
often endure all kinds of abuse just to be with the jerk.
So there it is.
Sometimes you have to do things that don't seem to "make sense" or be
"considerate" in order to make and keep a woman attracted to you... and
ultimately give a woman what she REALLY wants.
I've spent the last few years taking what I've learned about how to be
successful with women and dating, and distilled the process of ATTRACTION
down to a few keys. I've also done something that I'm very excited about...
I've figured out how to do the things that make women feel that powerful GUT
LEVEL ATTRACTION... but without any of the ABUSE that jerks use.
I now honestly believe that it's possible to treat women well, while being
interesting, challenging, ATTRACTIVE, and sexy at the same time.
But you have to know how.
It
all starts with understanding the basic principles like the one I've just
discussed, the origin and evolution of ATTRACTION, the beliefs and values of
"naturally" successful guys, and, of course, the specific techniques and
strategies to use in different situations to do things like approach women,
get numbers, get dates, and take things to a physical level...
And where is the best place to learn all of these things, from the
foundation to the specific techniques for how to be successful with women
and dating?
My original eBook "Double Your Dating", then you need to do that now. It's
the basic foundation for everything I teach in these newsletters, and it's
an absolute must-read. Read samples and download it here:
www.doubleyourdating.com
- just follow the 'ebook' link and download your copy. This book and the
three bonuses that come with it are the FOUNDATION for success with women.
Everything you read in these articles will make more sense once you have
read the book.
...and read it, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
David D.
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P.S. As you can probably imagine, I get a TON of email... So if you'd like
to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate
all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your
stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the
specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in
different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of
the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're
from.
5) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@doubleyourdating.com
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