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***Hi Dave,
I have had your book for many months... Anyways, I used to be a
super-wuss. Only got unpleasant fat chicks. Bought your book. Cleaned up
my hair, my clothes, my apartment. Took baby-steps to improve my
self-esteem and eliminate my insecurities. Now, even though I am not,
nor ever will be a GQ model, I walk around with my head held high and
walk slowly as if to say 'hey world, here I am!'. I practiced online and
met this girl who, after spending an afternoon just shooting pool (the
whole time I accused her of cheating) and throwing snowballs at her
(especially after she told me not to), tried to seduce me. Then I
started practicing on the girls at work. Just little baby-steps. 'Hi'
then 'what's your name', etc. And now I can go out in public and do that
with a complete stranger. And I do. Almost every day. And I keep a
journal of what I notice.
Anyways, here is my question. Since I can now talk to a beautiful woman
I've never met before like she's an average joe, I've noticed body
language, from the women, that I never used to see. It signals
nervousness to me. Examples are: looking at the floor instantly when I
say hi, nervous laughter after she tries to make a lame joke or just
some statement, fidgeting, running her fingers through her hair a lot.
It usually happens after a couple minutes of her meeting me, even when
they don't seem nervous at all at first. And I don't always bust on
them, but sometimes I do. I just try to stay myself. Upbeat but not
emotional. I give lots of eye contact and have even seen pupils dilate
right in front of me. So I'm confused. Is her being nervous around me a
good thing? Or am I doing something wrong? I figured since you spent
years at this, you were the man to ask. Even if you don't want to use my
email, your time in addressing this issue would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
W., Ohio
David D. >>>MY COMMENTS:
Thanks for your email, you've shared some really interesting points and
brought up some issues that I think a lot of guys can benefit from...
First of all, great job working on all of those little things that add
up to a big improvement. Most of us will never be GQ models, but we can
all do our best with what we have.
Too many guys take the attitude of "I'll never be a GQ model, and
therefore I shouldn't brush my teeth or comb my hair either"... which is
horrible.
Women are far less concerned with "physical beauty" than men, but the
ARE concerned with how a man takes care of what he has.
Also, good job practicing online and in the real world. The more you
practice, the better you'll be when the opportunities present themselves
in the real world.
And now, to address your question...
You are JUST STARTING to see things that have been happening all around
you, and now you need to start understanding what they mean.
When you begin to treat beautiful women like they're just another
person, and you start communicating with them in a way that says "Hi,
I'm a confident, sexually aware man... and I want to find out what
you're like as a person" it has ALL KINDS of interesting effects.
Some women will get nervous, some will get turned on. Some will even run
away because they're intimidated.
I'd like you to imagine something for a second.
Imagine that you're an attractive woman who walks around all day getting
approached by men, asked out, and generally treated like you're special.
Imagine that this is what you've become accustomed to, and that you have
a basic way of responding to all of these men: You smile politely and
say that you have a boyfriend, and if the man persists you act cold and
walk away.
Now, imagine that all of a sudden a man shows up that is OBVIOUSLY not
"taken off balance" by your looks, and who seems to be different. In
fact, you can't
tell what's going on because he's not acting like a needy Wuss who wants
to treat you special just because you happen to be physically beautiful.
Further, what if you actually started to feel a GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for
him while he was talking to you, and it surprised you.
HOW WOULD YOU ACT?
You'd probably start to get a little nervous, and feel a little
uncomfortable.
Right?
It's natural for humans to feel nervous when they're in the presence of
someone who's making them feel feelings that they don't often feel. But
just because a person is acting NERVOUS doesn't mean that they're not
ENJOYING it.
Now, with all that said, the only thing that really matters when you're
talking to a beautiful woman who you're interested in seeing again is
the RESULT.
In other words, it doesn't matter how you feel, how she feels, what is
said, etc. in the end. The only thing that matters after it's all said
and done is whether or not you see her AGAIN. So here's what I'd do if I
were you...
USE THE 3 MINUTE EMAIL/PHONE NUMBER TECHNIQUE WITH EVERY WOMAN YOU TALK
TO!
While you're still learning about subtle female body language and
attraction, you need to get the email and number to follow up with
later. ALWAYS. The more you do this, and then follow up later, the more
you'll begin to connect RESULTS with how a woman was acting when you
were FIRST talking to her.
Does
this make sense?
You'll even start to be able to tell what works and what doesn't based
purely on the EMAIL responses you get from women you've met. You're on
the right track, and you're figuring out things that most men won't even
KNOW EXIST in their entire lives... so stick with it.
And if
you haven't read my eBook "Double Your Dating", then you need to do that
NOW. It's my original manual for success with women and dating, and it's
the place to get started if you want to take your success with women to
the next level. You can download it at:
www.doubleyourdating.com
- just follow the 'ebook' link and download your copy.
This book and the
three bonuses that come with it are the FOUNDATION for success with women.
Everything you read in these articles will make more sense once you have
read the book.
...and read it, learn it, and use it.
Talk to you soon,
David D.
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P.S. As you can probably imagine, I get a TON of email... So if you'd like
to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate
all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your
stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the
specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in
different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of
the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're
from.
5) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@doubleyourdating.com
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