Tips From "The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating and Sex"

Here’s the worst-case dating scenarios:

How to determine if your date is married:
• Examine the left ring finger.
• Ask for their home phone number.
• Insist on holding hands when walking in public.
• Search your date's car.
• Ask to meet some of their friends.
• Invite them to spend the night.
• Make plans to spend a weekend together.
• Ask to meet their children.

Be Aware
• Be suspicious of a lover who never writes you letters or sends you emails, and signs greeting cards with only a nickname, an initial, or a term of endearment.
• Also be wary of a date who always pays cash.

How to deal with a date that moves too fast:
• Watch for the signs of "relationship acceleration": When your date starts talking about moving in, getting married or having children early in the relationship.
• Tell your date to slow down.
• Do not agree to more than one date a week.
• Talk about past relationships.
• Postpone any conversations about the future of your relationship.
• Beware of flattery.

How to deal with bad breath:
• Chew gum or mints.
• Chew on any of the following items: parsley, mint sprig, cinnamon stick, aniseed, cloves, egg shells, orange or lemon peel.
• Order a salad or some fresh carrots.
• Floss.
• Sweep the tongue.
• Brush with mouthwash.
• Avoid onions and garlic during dinner.

How to prevent a hangover:
• Don't drink.
• Eat before you begin to drink, or snack while drinking.
• If you don't eat, coat your stomach with a full glass of milk.
• Pace yourself and drink water between drinks.
• Drink clear liquors.
• Sip champagne and mixed drinks made with carbonated sodas slowly.
• Know your limits.
• Do not mix your liquor.
• Before going to bed, have a snack of a banana or cheese and crackers.
• Keep water beside your bed and drink it if you awaken during the night.

How to deal with a bad kisser:
• Slow them down.
• Slowly draw away from the kiss.
• Gently hold their face.
• Tilt their head.
• Touch your lips to theirs, saying "I love it like this."
• Repeat as necessary.

How to end a relationship:
• Get out immediately.
• Decide on a mode of communication depending on the length of the relationship.
• Be kind.
• Be decisive and state your position simply. Leave no room for doubt or negotiation.
• Keep the focus on yourself.
• Do not belabor the point.
• Do not try to take away the pain.
• Never say, "I'll call you," or "I'd like for us to still be friends," unless you mean it.