Christmas Wishes from Santa!

They clicked to go here and they clicked to go there, they knew St. Nick would still be coming with gifts for their care.

The boys searched for girls and the girls searched for boys, the men searched for women and the women, well, the women waited for the men to be found.

Chatlines were logged into and bookmarked with care, and friends shared their bookmarks listed in “Google Docs with share”.

When suddenly in a forum their arose a great clamor, webcams jumped to life and men were showing their “personal power”.

There were shrieks and there were moans and then suddenly there were stones. Good old St. Nick had entered the room and had seen the naughty men, rocks of coal St. Nick let fly, knocking the men’s “personal power” back into their desks.

“Oh Danner, oh Blitzen” cried good old St. Nick, “Dial 911 and Dateline and make these men pay for their perverted trick!”

With a shout of “Let’s go!” old Nick jumped on his sleigh, he whipped back the reins and told the reindeer “Let’s get out of here!”

“We have childrens toys to deliver and must make good time this eve, let those men find Perverted Justice and that guy on TV!”

And with a mighty roar St. Nick was in the air, reminding to others to always beware!

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Ganna A by Met-Art

Yes, I watch the stock market and at this time of the year there is often a few weird selling patterns that appear consisting of the everyday man-woman-investor cashing in to pay the anticipated bills of the season.

I’m not talking just cash for gift buying. Business people need cash (liquidity) for the new calendar year, parents need to pay the bills for the upcoming school semester. Hell, maybe a guy plans for a very special Valentine’s Day to be pre-paid after the big marriage proposal surprise on Christmas Eve (I did that one).

Sadly, the world markets are out of control, real investor values are all over the board and that doesn’t include the run on the stock market still to come, knocking of hundreds from the stock market indexes in what are normally slow, almost no ripple trading sessions until after the new year.

And all of this leads up to the stories you need to know about so you have some awesome current events to share at the dreaded office party or that lonely corner bar stool tonight. Read and enjoy, here we go!

- Too sexy for that veggie. An Islamic cleric living in Europe reportedly has warned Muslim women not to get too close to bananas, cucumbers or other produce — to avoid having “sexual thoughts.” Hahahahaha ho. Gotta wonder which “western video” sent this cleric holy man onto this particular line of thought. I know it’s not the same guy that said women shouldn’t drive because it may affect their virginity.

- “I never intended to break the rules.” For a final payout of $12.1 million dollars I wouldn’t know too much about my bankrupt company either. Just saying….

- This is the guy in the running for Last Place Criminal Dufus of the yYear. There’s a video, below, too. But essentially dude snoops on his girlfriend’s teen daughter’s phone, found a nude pick of her and sexted the picture to almost 40 of her contacts to “teach her a lesson”. I can only guess that a couple of the kids might say the photo is old news but this guy has a fun time in store for the holidays and I hope he remembers his “soap on a rope”.

- Where would we be without a heart-fely gift shopping story? Right here is the answer. Dude with a .322 blood alcohol level is arrested for trying to steal 2 big screen TVs from Wal-Mart while he’s wearing the same coat he stole two days earlier from said store. They never said if it was the booze or the greed that gave him away. Too bad, one of those TVs was supposed to be my holiday gift!

- This will not be abused because it’s lobbyists and politicians making gift giving rules for lobbyists and politicians to receive gifts from one and another in time to give and receive this holiday season. Albeit belatedly because the new rules start January 1, 2012. State lawmakers and city council members can accept expensive gifts from lobbyists without disclosure if they are dating, and can receive meals and lodging in lobbyists’ homes without telling the public, under rules approved Thursday by the state ethics agency.

I told you it was a special time of year.

Note: Photo of Ganna A. by Antonio Clemens at Met-Art.

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I’ve offered you the “Failure to prepare” quote before and I try to only repeat myself on special occasions. This isn’t one of them.

On this day I hope you’ve succeeded in your ability to plan your day and to handle your responsibilities as only you know how they need to maintained for you to succeed.

Life can be good and I am certain that since you’ve come this far that you are aware of how much farther you need to go to reach your own goals and be cable to help with the goals for those of your family and friends that you take responsibility of.

Here is a short exercise to help define your life by distance.

Step 1: Go to Google Maps and pick as the first destination your work address (if it’s the same as your home address skip the next step). Save each of the destinations asked for in this and the following steps. On a list right down the last date (if more than one) of each map marker.

Step 2: Enter your home address. (Save it.)

Step 3: Enter the address you went on your last date, an approximation is fine if the date has been so long ago the address is a foggy memory. (Save it.)

Step 4: Enter the address of the last family member (of your own family) you went to visit. (Save it.)

Step 5: Continuing doing this until the last 6 months of your life have been marked by place markers on the map, with the dates as accurate as possible, there won’t be a test after this one so don’t worry too much about a week here or there.

Step 6: Print out the map with detail enough to see the markers you’ve placed on the map.

This map is the “History of the world (insert your name here) style”.

You have been and went, come and gone. Some places more often than others and some places not enough. And I will leave this with two final tasks.

Task 1: Tape your newly printed map and printed list together on your fridge, on your bedroom wall or somewhere easily seen but not overly noticeable that every person will ask you what it is for, how it is to be used.

Task 2: On return to each marked by a place marker draw a circle around it.

Over the next six months pay attention to how the circles grow on the map. They are telling you a secret. That secret will be revealed to you on request.

For your profile ad headline today I suggest this:
“I have my life under control except for one more surprise – you!”

Have a great day!

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None the less, I offer you these top news stories to read and allow you to be prepared for a conversation with a new friend that will go beyond the usual exchange of a few niceties and then awkward silence. Let’s begin shall we:

- Mom Sells Baby for $15K Disney Trip: Cops – A new mom is in hot water after selling her newborn son for $15,000 so she could take her other two sons on a trip to Disney World, according to court documents. In late September, police got another tip that led them to the place where Wismer and Gavaghan met to finalize the deal… Well, this would usually be classified as “weird news” but…

- ‘I’ve become so good at the dating game I’m addicted to it’: Meet the matchmaking expert who cannot hold down a boyfriend. Hayley Quinn, who has helped teach 100,000 men how to seduce women cannot find a boyfriend for a reason that would have scandalised high society Georgians: she is addicted to casual flings…

- Self-reported drunk driving is down. (AP) The decline may be due to the down economy: Other research suggests people are still drinking as heavily as in years past, so some may just be finding cheaper ways of imbibing than by going to bars, night clubs and restaurants…

- Hacker Group Anonymous Threatens to Attack Stock Exchange. The FBI is investigating threats purportedly from the hacking collective that calls itself Anonymous to bring down the New York Stock Exchange on Monday by hacking into its computer system. Members of the notorious hacker group appear to be threatening to bring the Occupy Wall Street protests in New York to a dangerous new level, sounding a call to “declare war on the New York Stock Exchange” on Monday by “erasing” it from the Internet…

- Slutwalking into History. There seems to be a lot of slutwalking going on these days. According to news reports like this one, the protests that began in Toronto last month have gone global. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, the slutwalk protests aim both to reclaim the word “slut” from those who use it to try to shame women for being openly sexual creatures and to redirect that shame to where it belongs: aimed squarely at men who feel justified in sexually abusing women. The message is something like, “Fine, I’m a slut. Now, buzz off!” Fair enough, I’d say.

The Friday night conversation is alive and well, as long as you’re prepared. Have a great weekend!

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