What do you do with a moose?

Luckily for you I am here and so are you, we will work together, you and I, to share some great news stories from the past week that you can read and talk with the people you find yourself with in the days and hours to come.

After all, if you have nothing interesting to say then you are boring! And we don’t want to be boring, right?

Ok then, now that all that is settled, here are this week’s most interesting topics for you as selected by me:

- 10 stupid things you shouldn’t do with a camera around. I think the article title says it all (with photos, sfw).

- Meet the computer that can meet your mind. It was only a matter of time, right?

- War hero get’s reprimanded for managing the battle that he received a Silver Star of bravery for. This is when bad things get a lot worse for all people in uniform.

- Is latest Prius driver acceleration victim faking for a big payday? This background info casts a very big shadow on the whole episode. And is he really running a shadow life involving swinging and mysterious thefts?

- Sony introduces new PS3 motion controller. This really isn’t news, it’s a product press release. But it showed up in so many places that I am starting to wonder what really is news these days… here and here. Why did I even bother with this one? Good question.

- What do you do when you have a dead moose in your yard? First thing, get your puppy away from it. Second thing: Open up the Yellow Pages and find a “moose carcass removal service”. Sounds easy, right?

Have a great weekend!

Tell me something funny!

It’s snowing again here… I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, as I am sure you read earlier this week about where I live and how long winter actually lasts here.

But even still all I can think about is somewhere far away, warm, sandy beaches and without a barking dog within 5 miles of me.

And how will you spend your time away from work, or will it be another “stay-cation” this year?

Never mind all that, let’s get through this weekend first, right?

And to help you get through this weekend let’s start with a full inbox of wonderfully funny messages from wonderfully beautiful people.

This is the headline you post to get the party started:
“Tell me something funny or forever let me go.”

Have a great day!

This is the guy that will help you change your life!

If you give me a minute I can explain everything. First, guys should click here (women should click here instead) because this is how it all starts.

Life is a crazy route that seems to happen all on it’s own, doesn’t it?

But this isn’t the truth, not by a long shot. If you clicked one of the links above you would have been exposed to one of life’s simpler lessons, that you don’t know everything but you can learn.

The first steps to being successful at dating has now been shared with you. You will never again be able to say that no one reached out to help you.

Another way i will help you is to write for you a great personal ad headline, so that while you try to meet a special someone on Match.com or eharmony, that you can catch their eye with your headline as a starting point for all the great things about to happen.

Honest.

So post this as your headline today:
“I am not a game player, I know this is real life for the both of us.”

Have a great day!

A movie watcher

Congrats… I don’t know why I say this every Friday but we made it again, the weekend is soon to be upon us!

With a full two days off ahead of you I have several tasks I want you to do:
1) Have fun Friday night. Blow off some steam and have fun;
2) On Saturday finish all of your household and shopping chores as quickly as possible. No lolly-gagging around, there’s more important things to do;
3) Post a great new headline for your online personal ad

I suggest a headline like this:
“I like movies, what else do we have in common?”

Have a great day and weekend!

Vancouver Winter Olympics 2010

Glorious Friday…. Even though I have to work today (and maybe you too) I will be thinking of not working, but of sitting my lazy ass in front of the television and watching the Vancouver Winter Olympics.

That will be my Friday and quite possibly the rest of the month too… broken up by just a little bit of work, here and there, but mostly watching the hockey, bob sledding, mogul-jumping and whatever other sport they will have available to watch.

So now that you know where I will be, where will you be?

Overly intoxicated by Olympic fever? Or something else.

If it is something else, today and this weekend, I suggest that you look at eharmony.com and check out the current “Free Communication Weekend” that ends on Sunday February 15, 2010. Go, join for free and exchange messages with your eharmony match.

And my headline suggestion for you today, whether you use it at eharmony or not, is this:
“Do you have Olympic fever? Let’s share a sport or two together!”

Have a great day!

Important conversations

I hope you have nig plans for tonight… it is Superbowl weekend after all, a lot of what happens tonight will determine where and with whom you see the game with on Sunday.

And to get that invite, that “game date” you need to be an interesting person with great conversation skills (remember, the best conversationalist listens more than talks!).

Here are some topics from this week’s past events to talk about and start your conversations easily with anyone you meet this weekend.

1. Has Michael Jackson’s doctor been arrested? This news blog seems to indicate so, or does it?

2. Haiti earthquake survivor get’s dinged on replacement iPhone. After surviving a fourth floor ride to the ground during the earthquake, survivor loses out on recently activated, and now crushed, iPhone until complaints get heard higher up.

3. Facebook launches games dashboard – as if that’s all we do, socialize while trying to get a bigger farm in Farmville or beating a high score in Bejeweled Blitz…LOL

4. Terrorists and subversives must register in South Carolina – under penalty of fine, imprisonment, or both. WTF?

5. Lender forecloses on homeless shelter – 700 homeless men are… homeless.

You just can’t make this stuff up!

Scary Days

I don’t know why but today is full of apprehension for me… what I could be worried about I have no idea, but there is a growing concern in the back of my mind.

It’s not Friday the 13th, so I just cannot explain this weirdness. Have you ever gone through a day (that wasn’t a Monday) that just had you nervous, frightened even, for no reason? Is it someone in the future walking on my grave?

I just don’t know.

But for you today is special.

You are going to spend the next 30 minutes or so joining a new dating service, completing your profile, and making contact with some awesome matches. Free for this weekend only, the “contact your match free” ends on Sunday.

You are going to do this on this dating service (the destination is a secret, you have to click to see it).

And when you join this dating service you’ll need a fun headline to attract that special someone, so post this there:
“My mother always said I’d find a special person, maybe it’s you?”

Have a great day!

Put on a smile

Here we are again, the end of the work week and the cusp of the weekend… whoowee!!

Let the celebrations begin… with you receiving an email form a very hot person.

This is how life will take a heady turn for a lot for you that are reading this very post. Select a dating service to join, post a profile with a witty headline and stay up late every night for a couple of weeks answering all the emails you’ve attracted.

It’s all very real, it’s life in the 00’s. It’s your future. Destiny. It all starts witha witty headline, like this one I suggest you post today:
“I can’t see if you’re smiling, but I am!”

Have a great day!

Are you a dog lover?

Today’s dating profile headline of the day will not find love for you… but it will give you a great head start over the losers that pace such things as this as their headlines or in their profiles:
- I like walks on the beach
- A romantic night for me starts with a glass of wine
- I am easy going
- I love dogs (or cats)

Like, come on people, cliche city or what?!? We can do so much better, right? Right!

For your headline today post this:
“This the first thing we have ever shared!”

Have a great day and Date Great!

Cute as a bunny

I want you to think about how you use online dating and what your expectations are.

Are you being realistic? Is it possible that love is just a click or two away?

I hope you’re being realistic and that, yes, you can find love online. It might even be hiding behind the next dating service banner.

So let’s hope for some magic and post an awesome profile that will bring the love of your life, or of next weekend, your way. So post this:
“Yes, I have always been cute!”

Have a great day!