How to answer the big questions

You are asked to search your soul for who would be a great match, sometimes you’re asked a series of questions that will help ‘them’ find a great date/mate for you. But if you can’t decide in advance what you want for dinner how can you possibly select ‘a la carte’ the type of person that would be a great match?

Ultimately it comes down to what you see and read to get your attention and attraction and interest.

So what makes a good personal ad? Follow the example and advice below.

1) Describe yourself.
- Sometimes polite, sometimes rash, I enjoy planning as well as spur of the moment styles. If you ask any of my friends they will say that I am quiet, funny and separately serious and comedic. You’ll see the best of me on our first date and the weirdest of me after I meet your family. LOL
- My favorite color is blue and my favorite place to vacation is Mexico. I prefer quiet to crowds and friends to acquaintances You can call me a regular guy and I wouldn’t complain about it, too much.
(it’s ok to be descriptive without giving too much away about yourself. Think of how you’d describe yourself over the phone to an old school pal)

2) Your likes/dislikes.
- Everyone has likes and dislikes, but is it fair to let you decide based on what I write here whether we might be compatible or not? I don’t think so. My answer is: I like you, I dislike this question.
(I honestly hate this type of question and I suggest that you work your way around this question without being too specific, biased, racist, fascist or other, Seriously.)

3) Describe the type of person you’re looking for.
- I am searching for someone that can be a good friend, not a shoulder to cry on, not someone to instantly bare my soul with but someone to share a mutual understanding of life and all the rewards. You will be hard working and soft spoken, strict and caring, an individual that shares. If I were to describe it one word the person I seek it would be “confident” because when you are secure in yourself you can be open with others.
(This is the hardest question to answer, even though many people just write down what they feel ‘at the moment’ which is usually a little insecure and a little more challenged to not offend any potential match. I suggest being direct and also allow your answer to be open to interpretation.)

The most important and relevant advice is I can give you is to be honest and be yourself.
Also, don’t answer anything that makes you uncomfortable.

And enjoy your adventure with online dating!

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“Hi, I find it interesting that you like *** and have to ask what type of twisted freak actually goes for that sort of thing in this day and age. My Gawd, you have a computer so you can’t be as much of a bottom dweller as your profile leads me to believe… But there are some good interesting things there that we share. I do like shopping for fresh fish in the local market, haggling for the lowest price always gives me a rush, and strolls in the park hassling bums for change is something I do already on my own, it might be nice to pair up a couple of times (I don’t split what I get!), it could be fun.
Email me back, let’s setup a trip to the park soon.”

Well, maybe not that type of reply, right?

Remember, the person you’re writing to hasn’t met you yet but in all likelihood they have, or will very soon, take a look at what your own profile has revealed about yourself and within a few sentences decide if they’ll reply to you.

So, what you really want to reply with is this:

“I found your profile and what really caught my eye is how you are so unassuming but, I think, full of life. I would like to spend more time chatting with you. Can we meet up or would you rather just trade a few more emails to trade thoughts about things?

No pressure. Keep in mind that if he’s in your local area, you need to set up a coffee date by the third email, or two weeks have gone by with a steady stream of messages and replies, you need to meet him.

Be sure you keep to all the rules of the coffee date and keeping your friends aware of what you’re doing, if they can’t be there hiding, in the background, to watch for trouble.

Guys, read the first date rules here.

I hope that you did, but we won’t be doing that again, for a little while at least.

After all, what fun is online dating if you have to seriously think about it, right?
*chuckle*

Don’t worry, I know that dating, any kind of dating, is serious business and I wouldn’t want you to treat it any other way!

And to show how serious we are, for today let’s change our online dating headline to:
“When you know me better you’ll understand”.

How’s that for serious?

Have a great day!

People have had their disappointments with the Friday and Saturday bar/dinner crowd and now are looking for some real interaction with a real person. (HINT: this real person is YOU!)

So our headline for today is:
I am a real person. And I am ready for more than friendship!

This will attract the people that have so far missed your online profile.

“What color are your eyes? Mine are…”

Blue, and they become steely grey when I am watching you!

Or something to that effect. Have fun with your answer to that profile headline question.

You don’t have to talk about day-to-day life events, that’s boring enough for most of us. But you should have some high points over the past week that you can use to add some interesting topics to your profile that will help others find a “likable soul” in what they read.
Local news, entertainment, really almost any subject can be great fodder for your profile and subsequent email messages you exchange.

Life isn’t always a box of chocolate, but you can certainly write that it is!

And, if this isn’t news then what is?

Online dating is growing at a faster pace than recent years because it’s cheaper to spend $30.00 a month at an online dating service, meet some nice people, then try out a date, with less risk than pre-blowout-economy times, then it is to hang out at a neighborhood drinking palace, spend cash (or credit card!) on a few drinks and go home without any phone numbers or email addresses.

Online dating, once the foray of geeks and kids is now mainline and growing in popularity.

And you don’t have to trust me. Visit www.match.com, www.jdate.com, and even www.largefriends.ca and see for yourself how many people you can find, single and willing to trade messages in place of a first date, that live close to you.

More news on this topic:
http://marketplace.publicradio.org

http://www.allbusiness.com

I guess that you have to watch who you give ANY personal information to, if you’re dating, or just looking for some “fun”.

View the CRA internal report here: http://www.vancouversun.com/pdf/cradate.pdf