The quest for beauty,
age defiance and physical enhancement are at an all time high. The beauty
industry, comprised of simple salons to mega-corporate giants, pulls in
billions of dollars annually. People are obsessed with making themselves
beautiful and more attractive for their own personal satisfaction and so
others can see them they want to be seen. Not only do people search for ways
to enhance themselves, but they also seek beauty and attraction in other
things, most notably a dating partner.
Some people might conclude that canvassing the importance of beauty in the
dating world is a bit gratuitous. We all know its out there and it can even
be considered nature's cruelest form of sexual selection. You either have it
or you don't. However, I think it is a poignant topic of consideration
whether you are just now entering the dating realm or you have been in it
for years and whether you are male or female. Today's society places heavy
weight on good looks in the work place and in social scenes. You can't
escape it and you can not deny it. Amidst growing liberties, democracy, the
abolition of racial and religious oppression and the rising demand for an
open mind one would naturally assume that our advanced culture would not
treat certain individuals better simply because of advantageous genetic
facial features. But we all know that this is the furthest from the truth.
We see it every day.
Doctor Nancy Etcoff, a faculty member of Harvard University and a
psychologist at Massachusetts General Hospital, has beautifully illustrated
the ageless hunt for beauty in her book Survival of the Prettiest. I was
enthralled with the hundreds of references throughout history Dr. Etcoff
found and adapted to the importance of beauty. One of the most interesting
ones involved Eleanor Roosevelt. When asked if she had any regrets she
remarked that she only wished she had been prettier. To hear a statement
such as this coming from a heroine to women everywhere, it makes one want to
examine why and how being beautiful or handsome plays such a dubious role in
our every day lives. As Dr. Etcoff examines this very thought further in her
book, I think it would be best if we just accept our idealistic qualities
and move on to facing them.
When it
comes down to selecting new single men and women we choose to date,
our very first assessment of the potential mate is based on looks.
Most people will say that they are looking for more profound
qualities such as character, motivation, sensitivity, a commonality
in activities, beliefs and a sense of humor and that looks, although
important, are not at the top of the list. Of course everyone wants
to feel as if he or she had more noble intents in mind. And although
this may be true, nature tends to sway our first choice.
Psychological tests upon tests show that we all gravitate towards
the more attractive person at first. This is not something that we
can readily help, nor can we consider it malevolent behavior. It is
simply programmed into us from commercials, magazine ads,
celebrities and more. It is a learned responsive behavior. While not
everyone looks like Naomi Campbell or Brad Pitt and there are only a
few genetic anomalies in this world who apparently represent what we
all should look like, we can all take steps and measures to improve
the way we look and how we appear to others. It is the very first
rule in dating!
The first person you need to impress is yourself. When you look good
you feel good. Take advantage of what modern science has created in
the field of beauty. From getting the basic proper shampoo and
conditioner for you hair to hair regrowth products and surgery, from
makeup to enhance your features to elective surgery for more
dramatic effects. Your wardrobe should be a priority issue as well.
If you are still showing up at the door to pick up your date in
those same ripped jeans you have had since the 1980's, think about a
complete wardrobe overhaul. Getting in shape is an absolute must.
Not only does it show that you care about your body, it is essential
for your health and it will help you to feel great physically and
emotionally. The better you feel about yourself, the more confident
you will appear. And confidence is a very sexy and appealing part of
your overall appearance.
In her book Dr. Etcoff assumes that people, mostly men, are more
attracted to beautiful people for short term relationships while
beauty is less important when seeking a committed relationship.
However, it is that attractive quality of sex appeal which will get
you in the door. When you are just getting to know people for dating
purposes such as with the use of online dating resources, your
appearance is going to be one of the most compelling forces in
attracting dates. Everyone wants someone to fall in love with them
for the right reasons, but you can't change basic human instinct and
the natural affinity for beauty. You don't have to be the most
beautiful or most handsome person in the room, but you can take the
time and effort to look the best you possibly can.
Resources:
Natural Beauty Advice. Discover tips and advice about enhancing your own natural beauty. Tips on skin care, fashion and makeup application.
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