|
Whether you are
actively dating or just getting back into dating, it is a world full
of possibilities. However, most of us are creatures of habit and our
patterns keep us in a dating box, searching for and dating the same
types over and over.
Making contact online, you first have to find people that interest
you by searching the dating website’s membership. Online the dating
box is literal, as you have to fill in web forms to find potential
dates. Most dating sites give you two ways to search – quick or
advanced. Quick searches are just that – they’re small web forms
that let you search based on just a few criteria, like location or
age. Advanced searches are larger web forms that let you search
using lots of more specific criteria, like hair color, eye color,
education, body type and more.
Just remember that the more criteria that you use for your searches,
the fewer results you’ll get. Searches are unforgiving – they’ll
return exactly what you ask for. We call them “harsh numbers”. When
you choose an age range of, let’s say, 30-39, the person who just
turned 40 will not show up in the search results. If you want to
find someone with light brown hair, those great dark brown haired
people…like me…will be cast aside.
Also, many sites let you use keywords as part of the search
criteria. This allows a search for words in a member’s profile that
match your areas of interest. You can search specifically for words
like “tennis”, “skiing”, or something else. This lets you be
super-specific if you wish.
Although you want to find someone that attracts you and that you
share things in common, don’t limit yourself to what you think is
“your type”. After all, the “type” that you have gone for in the
past might have not worked out. Think “outside your box”. What we
often think is “our type” is the same person we have been chasing
unsuccessfully, through one bad relationship after another, our
whole life. Even if your type was a successful relationship in the
past, you cannot repeat a relationship you once had with someone
new. Unless you date outside your box you will never know if maybe
someone different just might be your “type.”
When going over your
wants, there is the numbers trap that we need to watch out for as well.
Offline we often use the expression, “numbers don’t lie.” However the
new culture of online dating, numbers often do lie.
For instance the harsh numbers of weight, height and age when in black
and white may make a person appear unattractive to you online, who you
would find very attractive offline. |
Devlyn Steele ("America's
Leading Life-Coach")
ToolsToLife.com
|
|
When we meet people in person we don’t say,
How old are you?
How much do you weigh?
How tall are you?
How much money do you make?
In person someone may carry his or her height, weight or age off in a
very attractive manner. But when you look at the numbers online you
think too old, too heavy, too short, too tall etc and that simply may
not be the case. You have the right to want what you want, but I tell
you this so that you can allow yourself to look past the numbers and be
more open.
If you’re not finding people that fit, try expanding your horizons. You
are not making any long-term commitment when meeting people, so be open
and meet more people and who you fall for might surprise you. So get out
of your dating box and don’t restrict yourself. Allow the incredible
opportunity of online dating to work for you. Contact and meet a lot of
people and leave yourself open to the possibilities…
About The Author - As a life & relationship coach, Devlyn has
made helping people find ways to improve their lives his personal
mission and passion. He is a public consultant, a private counselor, an
author and creator of Tools To Life. He has hosted his own radio shows
called "Tools To Life" and "Love beat" and has been a guest on over 150
various shows. You can read his articles and advice all over the
Internet. Devlyn has often been referred to as "America's Leading
Life-Coach." For Free E-books and more information visit
DevlynSteele.com
Send Questions To: CoachSteele@ToolsToLife.com
This work is copyrighted by the author. No
unauthorized duplication or presentation allowed. Copyright © 2005 Devlyn Steele All Rights Reserved Reprinted With Permission
More Featured
Articles Here To submit your
own article, please email it as a text attachment to: alovelinksplus.com
We do not compensate authors for being published at aLoveLinksPlus.com but we
will provide a link back to your website and you will maintain the copyright
to your submitted article. Email us for further details. Not all submissions
will be published. |
Dating Tips For Men
Get a Great Girl »
Today's Question
Popular Dating Ebooks
