Ending a relationship is never easy. When you feel
you must end a relationship most people find it challenging as they have
feelings towards their partner and do not wish to hurt them.
More often than not, breaking up is as hard on the person ending the
relationship as it is on the person being broken up with. Realize that a
person is breaking up has nothing to do with caring about another person.
Caring about somebody and wanting a relationship are not the same.
The majority of people on this planet do not like to hurt others, especially
somebody they have been close to. Guilt has been used more often than not to
keep relationships together. Fight this urge and believe in yourself.! When
you allow guilt as a way to stop a break up you not only cheat yourself out
of having a good and true relationship, you’ll foster resentment towards the
other person which could lead to greater pain and heart ache in the future.
Why would you want to be with somebody who makes you feel bad by allowing
you to feel guilty? Respect yourself!!.
A man should exit gracefully by planning the break up, to minimize the grief
caused to his partner
Don’t just ignore her hoping she will notice and go away. You might have
learned a little bit about push /pull as a term we use in seduction. That
only tends to bring somebody in closer. Which is the exact opposite of what
you want.
. The I think you're a great girl and I don't deserve you line will seem ok
to her at first, but later on she will start to resent that. She could also
go into how you DO deserve her and try to convince you.
Honesty really is the best policy. Treating the relationship, and the
person, with respect and dignity helps soften the blow.
When you break up, Do it in person. Show some integrity and sincerity to
tell her that the relationship isn't’t going anywhere. In our workshops we
teach how verbal communication is only 7% of the total communication between
people. If she also sees closed off body language it will be easier for
closure for her eventually.
Telling somebody you are breaking up in person is never easy, but you owe it
to her to break the news to her personally. This means not on the phone,
definitely not over e-mail, but rather, face to face where she can get eye
contact and read your body language. The universal line of “ we need to
talk.” should be given in advance. This allows her to prepare for what is
coming and helps soften the blow a little bit. Do not put too much time
between the “We need to talk” and actual breakup as the waiting time in
between is very uncomfortable if delayed long.
On doing some research on this I read a suggestion about breaking up in the
exact same place you met if possible. This is to suggest that the
relationship has completed a circle. A place where she has a lot of happy
memories might help neutralize some of the new sad ones.
Ending a relationship gracefully means speaking our piece without blame or
judgment and not taking responsibility for another’s feelings. It is
important to make eye contact,and give body language that is open while you
are communicating (which suggests you are VERY open to what you are saying)
than give closed off body language after finishing your piece. To suggest
you are not open to hearing anything else. Say your words sincerely, leave
no room for doubt, and never back down- especially when she starts to cry
and you feel horrible.
Than give that person some space usually a few months at least. Do not try
to get cozy with the person as this can really mess with somebody’s head a
lot as they will use this as hope that you are getting back together. This
is the only way to keep pain to a minimum when ending a relationship.
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© Copyright 2004. Robert
Torrey
http://www.badboycoaching.com
|
© Copyright 2004. Robert
Torrey
http://www.badboycoaching.com
This work is copyrighted by the author. No
unauthorized duplication or presentation allowed. All Rights Reserved Reprinted With Permission
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