Dating Great! with advice by

Frustrations Of A Professional Matchmaker

By Terri Arnold

"I spent my life searching for the perfect woman. I finally found
her but alas, she was searching for the perfect man." Anonymous.

I was a professional matchmaker for several years - trying to help singles meet others with whom they shared common interests and complementary personality traits. I met with clients in person and they were screened to ascertain their real names, addresses, education, marital status. Most importantly, I tried to help them determine the type of person they were really seeking and that's where most of the problems arose.

Even though my clients verbalized that they were happy to be matched based upon compatibility, this was not true! The major problems I encountered were:

1) A number of clients were seeking others mainly based on appearance.

I would show each new client photos of existing clients based on their characteristics as well as their appearance. Unattractive people sometimes became offended when I matched them with their physical counterparts. A dowdy sixtyish woman asked me, "Is that what you think of me?" when I attempted to match her with men in her age and looks category. Many clients seemed to be totally unaware of how they looked to others and wanted matches that were highly inappropriate. With these people, compatibility had no bearing on their matches. They wanted the best looking people in my book!

2)` Some clients refused to compromise - even when matched with someone they liked!

I matched two extremely overweight people who liked each other immediately and went out on several dates. Before their last meeting for a Sunday movie date, the woman asked to meet at 7:00 pm instead of the 5:30 show. The man became annoyed, broke the date, and immediately ended their budding relationship. He, who was a part-time telemarketer, told me he needed time on Sunday evenings "to get ready for his work on Monday." Because she needed to reschedule their date, he was totally turned off to her regardless of his prior interest and their compatibility.

3) Others had a Wish List for their Perfect Person and expected me to find the person on that list for them.

One divorced man in his late 30's expressed a desire for a woman who had a specific type of nose. (Really!) A never-married woman in her early 30's with pale blonde hair and very light skin wanted a man with very, very dark skin (but not an African-American), who earned at minimum $75,000 per year, was not in Sales, had never been married and had no children. I had twelve men who matched her description in my data base but she found something wrong with each one and refused to go out with any of them. She then complained about my service and was upset because she 'had not had even one date'. AARRGGHH!!! An Indian medical student saw her photo and was instantly smitten. They had many things in common and each was what the other was seeking. He was very excited about meeting her; however, before they met, he wanted a guarantee of a successful relationship which I of course could not give him. They never met and as far as I know, both are still single and searching.....

My advice: Don't shoot yourself in the foot! If you are meeting a lot of people and just can't seem to connect, ask yourself if you really want a relationship. Are you ready and willing to be close with another person? If you constantly find fault with others, ask yourself these questions and be a bit more tolerant. Don't expect to find your perfect person because he or she does not exist. Be happy if you find Ms. or Mr. almost-perfect. Good luck!

Terri Arnold has an MS in Counseling and has been a psychotherapist for twenty years.

More Featured Articles Here

To submit your own article, please email it as a text attachment to: We do not compensate authors for being published at but we will provide a link back to your website and you will maintain the copyright to your submitted article. Email us for further details. Not all submissions will be published.


Today's Question

Popular Advice Ebooks

Free Ebooks

Visit our ebook page with many free ebooks. Browse and download. You can download:

More Ebooks

aLoveLinksPlus Singles Dating Membership: Login | Join Free Sitemap
Advice | Dating Service Reviews A- Z | Guest Articles | Shopping
Free Dating Advice Ebooks | Relationship TestsComments | Sitemap | Blog | RSS Feed | Home

Partners Meet Christian Singles Today!

Online Dating at

Cherry Blossoms


Register for free now at - Meet Christian Singles!


PerfectMatch #1 Trusted Online Dating Site - The Best Approach to Finding the Right Person for You.

Find Love at!

eHarmony - Love Begins Here Find Singles Near You for FREE

Match Affinity: Start Your Next Relationship Here

Catholic Match Quick, affordable, and discreet health testing, drug testing, and sexually transmitted disease testing. 5% off with coupon code HEALTHY

Get 15% Off! at


DATING sites come and DATING sites go, PLEASE let us know of any BROKEN LINKS HERE ~~ Google+
1999-2015 By using this website you agree to these terms