The memo went out a
few weeks ago. Your company is planning a big bash at a really nice
place downtown. The food and music will be great and the air
festive. So, why are you racking your brains for a way to bow out
gracefully? Perhaps you can be away or maybe a family or other
emergency can be invented? Anything seems better than coming
dateless once again to the office holiday party. Or, maybe, you can
still find a date... If you are among the many singles that have
come to dread this season opener, you may be in need of a little
support and advice on handling this yearly ritual. Let's begin with
your list of options:
* Attend without a date
* Politely decline in advance, saying you will be away during that
time
* Decline because you have to attend another event you have already
committed to
* Come up with a last minute family or other emergency
* Find a date
You first task is to decide which one of these options is best for
you. My guess is that most of you will be choosing either going
dateless or finding a date. After all, it is your party and you
really would like to go, if only... If your choice is to go
dateless, you are probably focused on what others may think
(dateless again?), or how you will feel being without a date when
"everyone" else has one. We all know that there really is nothing
you can do about what others may think. However, how you approach a
solo evening is up to you. Begin with planning in advance who you
will be spending the most time with. Yes, you will "do the rounds",
but you will want to make sure you are seated for dinner with
co-workers you will have the most fun with. Perhaps you can plan
something earlier in the day with good friends. Shopping, an early
movie or a tree trimming party would help make the day an enjoyable
one, regardless of your dateless evening. Or, you can cut the office
party short and meet up with friends for a late movie, live music,
etc. Either way, you are guaranteed some easy play and relaxation
with friends. If you want to attend your party with a date, it's
time to get busy and creative. Work through the usual list of ways
to find a date first. These generally include:
* Asking a good friend
* Asking an acquaintance
* Asking friends if they know of anyone who would be open to
attending a nice party as your date
* Asking a relative, neighbor
If none of these are workable options, consider something new and
creative. What about one of these?
* Put a line in your personal ad letting people know you are looking
for a date for this event. A pre-planned, pre-paid date may be
interesting and eye-catching.
* Place a free personal ad in your local paper describing your right
office party date type. Include date only, with details to follow.
* Consider offering a swap in the above two. I'll go to yours if you
go to mine.
* Log onto
craigslist.com and post a notice, again giving only the date and
area. Details will follow if a good candidate responds.
Would you be surprised to know that there are many singles like
yourself looking for compatible people to go to parties and events
with? There are also many folks who are new to an area, recently out
of a relationship, etc. who are looking for friendship or someone to
share interests with. The trick is in finding people who would be
compatible with you and your interests. As long as you follow the
usual rules of screening and safety, these options could be fun and
could lead to a nice evening, a new friend, a potential love or all
of the above.
|
Toni Coleman
Helping Singles Create Lasting Love
www.consum-mate.com
Toni@consum-mate.com
|
|
Article by
Toni Coleman
Helping Singles Create Lasting Love
www.consum-mate.com
Toni@consum-mate.com
This work is copyrighted by the author. No
unauthorized duplication or presentation allowed. Copyright © 2003 Toni
Coleman All Rights Reserved Reprinted With Permission. Toni Coleman is a
licensed therapist and relationship coach in private practice in McLean,
Virginia. She specializes in working with singles that want to create
lasting, intimate relationships. Toni has over 20 years of post-masters
experience in relationship counseling and coaching with singles and
couples. She is the founder and President of LifeChange Coaching and
Consum-mate Relationship Coaching. She developed and teaches the
Creating Lasting Relationships Training, a tele-workshop designed to
help singles to define, implement and fulfill their life and
relationship goals. She has also written numerous email classes for
singles on all aspects of meeting, dating and relating. She is the
author of the email newsletter, The Art of Intimacy, which goes out to
thousands of subscribers monthly.
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