The stores are decorated in candy hearts, flowers
and bears. Every TV or radio commercial reminds you that it’s time to remember
your sweetheart on this special day for lovers. Your feelings range from
sadness, to revulsion to anger. What’s a single person to do? The following
suggestions are designed to both answer that question and to help you have a
good day after all, while working to make it your last solo one.
Celebrate the day by planning an activity that is meaningful and enjoyable to
Choose something that provides you with a special treat.
* Go to a day spa for “the works”
* plan an intimate dinner for 3 or 4
* go ice-skating or to the movies with a fun friend
* go out to dinner and a movie with a group of other singles
* Focus on what you enjoy and make a conscious decision about how to mark the
* Un-Valentines Day parties are very popular and can be a lot of silly fun.
You can attend one or throw one of your own.
Design a relationship-building plan for 2003.
Let the holiday provide you with the motivation to take risks, try new ideas
and gain the knowledge that will enable you to find and create a lasting,
* Sit down at the computer or with pen and paper in hand and get your plan
* Begin by making a list of resources that can be used to help you meet
available singles. These can include: on-line dating sites, singles groups,
volunteer activities, or participation in sports or other activities that you
*Decide when and how often you will participate in any activity you have
*Make a budget for both time and available funds for this purpose.
*Do your homework and research each resource so the information will be
available when you need it.
Review those resolutions you made, or make
some if you haven’t yet.
Think about what is really important to you. Remind yourself that
implementing and sticking to these will help ensure that you are really
ready for that special relationship. Being the kind of person you want
to be with is the first step.
Begin with concrete goals. For example:
*stick with a healthy diet
* exercise three times a week
* plan one organizational task per week, etc.
Taking care of yourself and living well will optimize your chances for
relationship success. Start today.
eliminate negative thinking.
When a negative thought comes into your mind, take a moment to think
about what is beneath it. Then, tell yourself that thinking this way is
not good for you. Make a decision to drop the thought and try to think
(anything) that is positive. It can be as simple as focusing on what a
beautiful day it is outside, to feeling grateful that you survived the
current wave of lay-offs in your company.
Use this technique for situations as well. Ask yourself how you can view
the situation differently. Try to find one positive angle or outcome
that could result from an otherwise bad situation. For example, you are
being laid off from your job. You have been unhappy for a long time, but
could not motivate yourself to do anything about it. Now, you have the
motivation to look for a new job, or perhaps change careers. Think of
all the possibilities that could open up for you.
Negative thinking is a downward spiral that leads to negative behavior
and possibly depression. Consciously choose to challenge these thoughts,
and empower yourself with a more positive outlook and approach to life.
Hopefully these tips will assist you in having a better “solo”
Valentine’s Day than you might have been headed for. Enjoy the day by
doing something fun. Then focus on your relationship plan and empower
yourself to build the healthy, lasting relationship of your dreams.
Helping Singles Create Lasting Love
Helping Singles Create Lasting Love
This work is copyrighted by the author. No
unauthorized duplication or presentation allowed. Copyright © 2003 Toni
Coleman All Rights Reserved Reprinted With Permission. Toni Coleman is a
licensed therapist and relationship coach in private practice in McLean,
Virginia. She specializes in working with singles that want to create
lasting, intimate relationships. Toni has over 20 years of post-masters
experience in relationship counseling and coaching with singles and
couples. She is the founder and President of LifeChange Coaching and
Consum-mate Relationship Coaching. She developed and teaches the
Creating Lasting Relationships Training, a tele-workshop designed to
help singles to define, implement and fulfill their life and
relationship goals. She has also written numerous email classes for
singles on all aspects of meeting, dating and relating. She is the
author of the email newsletter, The Art of Intimacy, which goes out to
thousands of subscribers monthly.
To submit your
own article, please email it as a text attachment to: alovelinksplus.com
We do not compensate authors for being published at aLoveLinksPlus.com but we
will provide a link back to your website and you will maintain the copyright
to your submitted article. Email us for further details. Not all submissions
will be published.