A lot of people are
starting to wonder why dating in the big city has suddenly become such a
perplexing and complicated experience. And when, exactly, did this happen? The
dating scene has always been a little troublesome for some people and could
even feel like more of a chore than what should be a fun time. But lately the
single jungle of Houston and other large cities are changing and evolving into
more complex designs of mass confusion. We seem to be moving faster and faster
into complete chaos rather than assimilating into the well preserved roles
that our mothers and fathers laid out for us.
Gender roles are
changing and this is the basic concept that is generally holding many of us
back from entering successful relationships. More and more people are
remaining single for longer periods of time. Part of this is because we are
finding it difficult to accept and understand the new gender roles of our
mates, even if we, ourselves, are holding to those new standards.
The roles of women
have gone through the most dramatic changes. They have changed more in the
last two generations than in the last two millenniums. Due to mass media,
urbanization and politics, women have achieved equality to men in education
and the workplace and everywhere else you look. And thanks to the sexual
revolution, we have freed our minds. Women are now able to support themselves
and raise their own children without the help of a man, thus escaping the
traditional role of “mother” and “wife”. Our new found independence is
something we fear giving back. The independent woman does not want to be
controlled or told what to do. She will never again be the docile little lamb
once sought after for marrying purposes.
This change in the
lives of women in large cities has led to a second major change, this one in
men. Men have moved from being the gruff, rugged males to becoming
“metrosexual” (a term coined by gay journalist Mark Simpson). Men have started
to take over some of the duties that women had always controlled. There are
women working alongside these men in the office. And thanks to sexually
homogenous advertising, the meterosexual has been created. This new male breed
has matching ensembles for every occasion, never has a bad hair day, loves
manicures and smells like roses. He has no problem shopping, attending the
opera and buying new shoes. The metrosexual is completely in touch with his
feminine side but there is just one thing: he is straight.
Suddenly, the roles
that we are used to having our mates fill are no longer being filled. The
metrosexual is now asking why he has to pay for every date, open doors and
pick a woman up at her door since the women are now so independent and
financially equal. Yet these men still secretly yearn for that woman who will
do the housework and raise the children just like mom did. The independent
woman has become too afraid to give back that independence she worked so hard
for only to begin relying more on a man than herself. Why should she when the
danger still lies of being tossed aside one day? Yet, in her heart, she also
desires the manly man who will sweep her off of her feet and take away all of
her problems, just like her daddy once did.
We have now entered
what appears to be a never ending cycle that can only be broken by trust. The
once praised nuclear family with the hard working father and stay at home
mother is slowly dissipating. From now on, men and women will be taking on
more equal roles in relationships and families. The question is: when will we
become comfortable enough to let it happen?
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