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 Whether we want to
admit it or not, even for those who are adamant in their denial of
watching the tabloid reports, we’re all affected by the news of
celebrity break-ups.
With rumors flying about Britney Spears and Kevin Federline’s
break-up on the horizon; millions of pages dedicated to the looming
divorce of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson. Where is the hope for us
who are merely trying to date?
How can we, as “mere mortals,” believe in ever lasting love? In the
back of our minds we think that these celebrities have everything
any couple could possibly need to enjoy the happiest “ever after”
life imagined. I can’t tell you how many times I hear people say,
“If only we had more money;” “A bigger house;” “If I were better
looking;” “If I lost more weight;” “My life would be perfect;” “Our
relationship wouldn’t have so much stress;” “I would be happy.”
We look at the famous and say, “They are the “beautiful” people.”
“They travel the world.” “Have beautiful mansions and lots of
money.” “They have an army of people waiting to do their every
bidding: publicists, managers, accountants, housekeepers and
chiefs.” “If only I were in their shoes.”
What a great example and lesson to all of us “not so fortunate”
people who aren’t blessed with their lives and the kind of money
they posses; that money doesn’t make a relationship happy. Time,
effort and determination are what make a relationship thrive. I’m
not implying they don’t put the time and effort into their
relationships, only that all the things we say, “If only we had…”
won’t make our relationships last longer or be happier than theirs
were.
Key factors to a lasting relationship are laughter, a sense of humor
about life as well as a lot of hard work. These three things have
always been a common thread for every successful and happy
relationship I have interviewed over the years. Every one of them
say the same thing: They work hard; don’t go to bed angry, resolving
“issues” right away; and they laugh with each other.
A step that can help you regain the spark in your love life is
something I call Soul Gazing. It’s a simple technique of gazing into
your partner’s eyes. I usually recommend 15 minutes, but in the
beginning, 2-3 is fine. No talking, no looking away. I have seen
this technique strengthen relationships that were already strong and
help those relationships that were on the brink of disaster. Try it.
If you want to have the love you deserve, remember my simple rule:
Love is a gift, it’s not a right. Love is a decision, it’s not a
feeling. Make the decision to make your relationship right, so you
too can have the lasting and deep love you deserve.
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Jaci Rae author of:
Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time
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