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 Dating… isn’t that a
scene right out of High School? We’re haunted by memories of our
first date and the nervous tension that resulted from the
anticipation of it: “Did I pick the correct outfit?” “Will I smell
good to them?” “What will I say during those awkward moments of
silence?”
Things haven’t changed that much since High School. Often we ask the
same question and still get that same sense of nervous anticipation
before we embark on a first date with someone.
Dating can be a very intimidating time to even the most experienced,
savvy dater. Recently, I asked both men and women who dated
frequently (3-4 times a week on average) if they still had first
date jitters. The same answer echoed through 93% and that was a
resounding, “Yes!”
Amazingly enough, even those people who seem so confident; those who
have an endless amount of dating potential as well as a line of
prospective suitors, still get those first date jitters. So for
those singles that still have troubling memories of their past
dating experiences, how do you jump into the dating pool and begin
to swim again?
Unlike swimming in a pool filled with water, don’t dive into the
deep end of the dating pool first, even if you remember how to swim.
There may be sharks lurking, waiting to attack. It’s always best if
you start in the shallow end of the pool.
Put one foot in by heading to a charity event in your area. If you
are nervous, as most of us are, prepare for your first encounter,
just as you would when you are vying for a promotion at your work.
Practice ahead of time! Make up a little 3x5 flash card set with
subjects you can converse on or questions that are conversation
initiators (forget about the weather, that’s a dried up subject).
Here are a few that you can use that are sure to spark some
interest:
Talk about your family (positively)
Liven up the conversation with topics of any recent travels
Ask about their career and how they happened upon
Ask about their family (if they shy away, you need to also)
These are just a few topics. If you can’t think of any yourself,
pour over the Internet for resources on topics of conversation.
Where can you find a dating pool in your area?
Sporting clubs (the kind that you actually participate in sports)
Specialty courses at a junior college or community center
Coffee Café’s
Grocery Stores (I talk about that in my book)
Again, this is just a few ideas. The most important thing when
you’re swimming in the pool is to avoid offensive behavior. That’s
determined by the pool you are in. Good luck and remember, start at
the shallow end before you dive into the deep waters, a life vest
may not be available. |
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Jaci Rae author of:
Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time
More Articles by Jaci Rae
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