If
you've ever woken from a vivid sexual dream wondering why you'd
envisioned dirty deeds with that quirky guy from accounting and a
pink tutu-clad circus midget, you're not alone. Sexual dreams are
quite common and can leave dreamers confused, upset and downright
worried. So, how literally should you take your erotic nighttime
fantasies? Read on, stardust warrior, and find out.
To Sleep, Perchance to Dream
Dreaming happens a number of times each night as we enter our Rapid
Eye Movement (REM) sleep, characterized by twitching peepers beneath
eyelids. It is commonly believed that dreams are a way for mortals
to deal with issues from our daily life and restore emotional
equilibrium. "Dreams are messages from the unconscious mind [that]
can reveal our deep feelings and our true motivations," says Craig
Hamilton-Parker in Fantasy Dreaming. "In particular they can bring
to light many repressed sexual desires, our guilty feelings or our
unexpressed fears about sex."
Explicitly Sexual Dreams
Dreams that involve acts of sexual experimentation or erotic
emotions usually involve people known to you and may reveal
something about your feelings for that person. If they involve your
existing flame, the meaning is generally clear. Having sex with
someone you know but who you aren't intimately involved with,
however, may mean that you are harboring a secret attraction. That's
great if you're both available but if you're already involved in a
relationship, you may want to steer clear of situations that would
lead you to act on these feelings. If the horizontal dance partner
in your dream is a total stranger, it could be your subconscious
telling you something about the relationship you have with yourself.
I Like to Watch
If you dream about your lover doing the nasty with another person,
you could have deep-rooted concerns about your sexual performance or
interaction with that person. Ditto for dreams about lovers' sexual
organs. Visions of others' genitalia dancing through your head may
also suggest you may be worried about their sexuality or other
personal issues.
I Can't Believe What You Did Last Night
Have you ever woken up from a dream about a lover's infidelity and
accused your hapless partner of cheating? These dreams generally
reveal hidden concerns and insecurities you have with your current
relationship. If you yourself are the straying seductor, it's likely
your inner psyche feels that something is lacking in your
partnership. Try to zero in on the problem by taking a tally of what
the seductee fulfilled for you in the dream and determining whether
that aspect is missing from your current relationship.
That Was Disturbing
If you have a high degree of sexual repression, your fears and
anxieties may be expressed through erotic dreams filled with sexual
situations that are shocking or embarrassing. If you dream of
bumping uglies with a totally inappropriate person or a member of
your family, it could be a symbolic message about problems in your
relationship with that person. In either case, don't panic. These
dreams are relatively common and don't mean that you are a sexual
deviant.
Common Dream Imagery
Psychologists claim to have found clear meanings for common themes
in sexual dreams. Dreams involving bisexual or hermaphrodite roles
could indicate issues with feelings about your masculinity or
femininity. Men dreaming of making love with an active or successful
woman may indicate a wish that his partner play a less passive role
during lovemaking and in their relationship. Interrupted intercourse
indicates inhibition, and the cause of the disruption may indicate
something about these hang-ups; dreaming of making love with your
clothes on is a sign of guilt.
A Last Thought Before Drifting Off
Interpreting dreams is tricky. Even psychologists have competing
theories and interpretations. You can refer to one of the many books
about dream analysis, but be curiously careful. Ask yourself: 'Does
the book's explanations sound plausible and strike a personal
chord?' If not, skip it. Psychologists would be the first to admit
that they're just scratching the surface of the human psyche.
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