Is
your marriage in trouble? No matter how bad, there’s always hope and
ways to turn your situation around. Here are five common ways to
help create a better, more loving and harmonious relationship with
your husband.
1. Handle arguments differently
Every marriage and relationship has
arguments, but it's how you handle them that's most important. At
Junior High School, I said 'no' to drugs. At my wedding altar, I
said 'no' to fighting.
Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" anti-drug campaign was a huge success.
Kids made a verbal commitment and a mental stance to avoid drugs
before they were even of the age to be tempted. When they were
introduced to drugs, they knew they could "just say no" and not feel
alone. Fighting is NOT harmless. It’s addictive and, if continued,
is likely to cause irreparable damage. Certainly there are times
when emotions get wrinkled, and the natural inclination is to blow
your top. I sometimes have to bite my tongue so I don't say
something I would regret later (since when is self-control a bad
thing?)
Having a naturally calm personality has admittedly made it easier
for me to think before I speak than it is for some people. But that
shouldn't stop anyone from trying.
2. How to make him listen
In most relationships, a polite and sincere request gets much
greater results than if you yell, nag or complain.
For example, the other day Athena saw my bath towel on the middle of
our bedroom floor. She said "you might want to hang up your towel or
it won't dry out in time for your shower tomorrow." When my clothes
pile up outside of the hamper, she sweetly says, "it would really
help me out a lot if you put your dirty clothes in the hamper."
She was exhausted one morning and when Ashton (then five months old)
began to stir, she turned over to me and asked if I wanted to "get
up and have a little morning playtime with Ashton." That was a much
nicer way of asking me to help her out than saying, "Why am I the
one who always gets up early to take care of YOUR son? I think it is
YOUR turn for a change."
Athena always thinks of nice ways to ask me to help out or to stop
doing something irritating.
3. Turn gossip and bashing into praise
No one's perfect. When wives get together and the conversation turns
to complaining about “what their husbands do,” or male bashing in
general, refuse to participate.
It shows that you respect and value your husband.
For a man, few things are more devastating than to have his wife
criticize him in front of friends. Instead, when a "gripe session"
gets going, make it a point to start sharing some of his good
qualities. Usually, this alone will steer the conversation into a
positive direction and help your friends to also praise their
husbands -- which in turn helps them to respect and appreciate them
more too.
Knowing that my wife refuses to belittle me in front of friends
makes me love and respect her even more.
4. Change your routine of life
After a few months or years, most couples get into a comfortable
pattern where they always do the same things. Same dinner / movie
dates, same sexual routine and same behaviors. You can rekindle some
of that magic and keep your marriage magical by simply paying
attention to these three important areas:
1. Go on creative dates - agree to go out and do something you've
never done before once every week, fortnight or month. It doesn't
really matter what you do, but it's important to commit and do this
constantly. Want some ideas? Go to a winery, museum, art gallery,
carnival, the beach, or have a picnic in a park.
2. Spice things up under the sheets - try a new position, technique
or location. Wear some nice lingerie or introduce some new toys into
the bedroom.
3. Change up the norm - buy him a gift just to say “I love you,"
give him a surprise quickie before work, a nice massage, set up a
scavenger hunt that shows how much you care about him with a gift at
the end.
5. Face your money issues and debts
One of the biggest problems facing couples today is the huge amount
of debt they bring into their marriage. Not only are there more
divorces, couples are calling it quits much earlier in their
marriage than ever before. Here are some ideas to get your debt and
money issues under control.
1. Sit down and prioritize all aspects of your family budget
together. Only when you analyze your spending habits will you fully
realize where you are wasting money. It’s a great opportunity to
talk about your goals and dreams.
2. Realize that frivolously spending money can be a sign of
disrespect for your marriage and mate.
3. If you would like a bigger diamond ring or a fancier car, ask
yourself why.
4. Take a quick inventory of all the items you own but could really
live without. Consider how much you paid for them. What if you
didn't buy those items and had all that money in savings instead?
Would it make a difference in how you view your job, your family and
your future?
For more info check out…
www.gettinghimback.com
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