With A Man Who Is Cold And Distanced: What to do if your man is
shutting down for no reasons.
A couple, as man and woman, will share
feelings and each other constantly during a relationship. Often
times a man can become self centered, distant and uninterested in
what you do or how you are. The man who is distant can make a woman
feel uneasy about herself, un-needed, unwanted and often times self
conscience as you second guess what you are doing all the time.
So why is your man shutting down emotionally and pushing you further
from the relationship than you are comfortable with?
You will notice the difference right away, as he doesn't hold your
hand, as he isn't calling you often, and even moments where he is
not looking at you but past you while you are out on the town. The
man needs to feel as if he is the center of attention. This doesn't
mean you have to become his love slave, or be at his beck and call,
but you have to learn to make the man feel as if he is the center of
your universe using your actions and reactions to the relationship.
The main reason men shut women out and become distant is because
they are afraid
Yes, the reason may surprise you but it is a well known fact that
men who are afraid of becoming too dependent, too needy will push a
woman back and put some distance between the two of you. A man can
feel as if he loves you, but at the same time, is afraid of the
commitment, afraid of becoming needed and wanted, where you will
expect more of the relationship.
The man who is afraid of a relationship is going to put some amount
of emotional distance in the relationship, and this will be the
distance you feel.
Another reason men put distance in the relationship is because they
feel overwhelmed by need.
What many women are surprised about, and no man is going to admit,
is they will become distant in a relationship because they feel too
needed, and you or the family is too demanding. A man must feel a
little freedom in his life, where he feels important and able to be
himself with out always doing something for you or because of you.
While it is hard to change, you can cut the distance in your
relationship by helping your man feel a little more freedom and at
ease in his life.
The cure is easy for the distance in a relationship such as this;
allow his to enjoy his life. As a man enjoys his life, he will find
he also needs you there to share in his joys, and accomplishments.
The added freedom could be that he loves watching football, or loves
being at the baseball field, or that he loves coaching youth teams.
Giving him the time to enjoy his own past times and hobbies is going
to give him the freedom in his life that every man needs. He will
ultimately feel good about himself, and where he is in life, and in
turn will want to share more with you, and be closer to you because
Think about the many things you do, say and how you 'are'
that may lead to your man being distant emotionally. Are you putting
too much pressure on the relationship as you say you 'love him' all
the time, or that you 'need him' all the time. You, as the woman,
need to back off on the telling him all the emotions in your life,
and focus only on showing him how much you love him. Showing a
person, a man, how much you love him is going to be much more
valuable in the relationship than actually saying it aloud all the
For example, if he is leaving a business trip for a few days, show
him you love him by putting something in his suitcase that will
remind him of you while he is away. Just a little note, with a
heart, and no words, no written message, just the hidden message of
your love he will find at a later date. Calling your man and telling
him you love him every five hours while he is away is going to put
pressure on the relationship he may not need, want, or have the time
to tend to while he is away on business.
So, how do you keep the relationship alive?
Keeping the relationship alive is going to be much easier than you
might have thought before. As a woman, you are constantly working
and tending to the needs of your relationship. To keep the
relationship alive you want to show the man how you feel instead of
saying it aloud all the time. Make him coffee in the morning, or
make his lunch before he leaves every day, your actions speak louder
than words in many cases.
Keep the relationship alive by taking the time to make his favorite
meal, or do your hair in the way he loves most.
Keep the relationship alive by putting on sexy perfume even when you
are sitting around the house. A man needs to feel you love him, but
without having to hear it all the time.
Article by Cucan Pemo ( Author of 'Retrieve A Lover' )
Bring Back the Love of
Your Life! - A Potent 4-Step Strategy which always works, no matter what
type of relationship you are involved in, no matter how difficult or
hopeless your situation appears.
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This work is copyrighted by the author. No unauthorized duplication or presentation allowed. Copyright © 2006 Cucan Pemo, All Rights Reserved Reprinted With Permission
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