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 Is
your relationship or marriage going downhill?
When you discover that your relationship has become stale and you
always find it boring to even hang out with the love of your life,
it is a sure sign that you need to do something about your
relationship. Do not be depressed about your relationship
circumstances or marriage situation. Try apply the following
strategies to rekindle the passion in the relationship. These
strategies can be so powerful and quick-acting that you would be
amazed at the sudden, happy results they unfailingly bring to your
love problems.
1) There are couples who have reached the stage of "even if there is
no communication, but we have reached a stage of mutual
understanding and appreciation of each other's presence". Be aware!
This does not guarantee that your relationship or marriage would be
long lasting! Many of my readers have had such experiences. All
along they have been thinking that their relationship life is so
smooth going and obstacles-free, and when one day their lover come
up to them and tell them they want to leave the relationship, they
got the big shock of their life . Your relationship needs to be
attended to every now and then, no matter how easy going and
brilliant everything seems to be at the moment.
As we surf through life, we are going to learn the lessons life is
going to throw at each and every one of us, including yourself and
your partner. No one can guarantee that the thoughts that you are
holding dear and true to yourself (or even to your partner), will be
the same the next day. This is how we will grow, develop and
improve. It is normal that you have disagreements with each other
once in a while. In fact, it is healthy; and it can help you to
develop more understanding towards your partner. If you are
constantly having negative feelings about yourself, your partner or
even your own relationship circumstance. Remember this fact, which
has often been overlooked. Negative and unhappy feelings are caused
by us, not by exterior happenings. Your life circumstance and events
present the challenge, but it is YOU who react to it. What you need
to do is to work on the ways you handle things and take things, NOT
to the things themselves.
2) In order to rekindle the passion and harmony in your
relationship, returning it to the way it once is, you have to learn
how to regain your natural and spontaneous feeling for life. Break
focus. Concentrate not on your relationship or marriage problems,
but on becoming the solution. Your solution is often not how HE/SHE
has changed, will change into, or is going to change into. The
solution is YOU. If you are sad about your relationship, what most
of you would normally do is to immediately take yourself as the
feeling (of sadness). You think you are this "feeling", which you
are not. And you would find yourself tend to double the mistake by
telling yourself, "I am unhappy. I am sad." The more you say it, the
sadder you feel; the sadder you feel, the more you'll say it. There,
you have a vicious cycle.
3) Recall when you go for your first date, you are bubbling with
excitement and much anticipation. I know how it feels.
It happens to me. I love that feeling, of initially falling in love.
As you go for more dates, and you understand each other more and
more, your anxiety and doubts about the relationship will reside.
You want to see more of each other. You have a strong interest in
developing this relationship and love further.
You do everything you can to nurture it, and make sure that it
grows. When you have finally succeeded in settling down with the
love of your life, your wish of wanting to keep nourishing and
nurturing this relationship subside. When you are starting to have
this type of feeling, you have to not take things for granted.
Taking your relationship for granted is often a sure way of growing
your relationship problems. Put some heart and thoughts about
bringing some excitement and life into your relationship.
Always bear in mind, there is never an end to how far and how much
you can grow and develop your love and relationship for each other.
4) Drop your unrealistic expectations of the other person.
True Love is not craving or attachment. When there is craving
involved, it is not genuine love. It is a secret wish to flee from
your unwanted self into the other person.
I have readers who have such strong cravings for another person that
they suffer the torment of missing him/her whenever they are not
around. Why suffer? Try to understand that this is all unrealistic
imagination of the other person, whoever they are .
It is your egoistic mind painting a false image of him/her.
He (Her) is attractive, very likely because they represent a need in
you which you may or may not be aware of - all those good qualities
such as strength, perseverance, determination, truthfulness,
loyalty, etc. But such qualities are not a reality in the other
person. You can view this person differently. Choose to view that
person in this way. You'll be surprised at the result you'll get,
just like myself. Whenever my partner is not behaving or reacting in
the way I (secretly) want to see and feel, I just remind myself that
I can view this person differently. He (She) has not changed. I
have.
5) Understand that there are different types of relationships
existing in this world. Your love for each other could be similar to
that of mother-child, or it could mirror that of a brother-sister
relationship. Whatever it is, if one party is too protective of the
other person, and the other person is not reciprocating
appropriately, pressure will start to occur; misunderstanding would
ensue.
Consciously work on the balance in your relationship. If your mate
has been loving to you, show your love or show your appreciation for
him/her. If your partner is busy, keep yourself busy.
When your relationship problems start to overwhelm you, slow down,
take a deep, deep pause. Tell yourself there is another way to live.
It does exist. Thought elusive, it is always there. You can be happy
and clam always. Welcome the obstacles and problems in your
relationship life. They will eventually awaken you to the very life
you seek.
The understanding of your sadness and unhappiness will lead you onto
the path to true awakening. You cannot become happy by changing your
exterior happenings. It is true. You cannot improve your handwriting
just by changing a new pen. When trying to solve your relationship
or love problems, choose to react to every situations
constructively. It is useful to remember this. Take note of it. I
pin it in front of me so that I will always be reminded of the
truth, each and everyday "You feel good not because your
relationship life is right; but your relationship life is right
because you feel good!" |
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Article by Cucan Pemo ( Author of 'Retrieve A Lover' )
Bring Back the Love of
Your Life! - A Potent 4-Step Strategy which always works, no matter what
type of relationship you are involved in, no matter how difficult or
hopeless your situation appears.
FREE details ==>
www.retrievealover.com
This work is copyrighted by the author. No unauthorized duplication or presentation allowed. Copyright © 2006 Cucan Pemo, All Rights Reserved Reprinted With Permission
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