had a heated argument with my partner the other day. He had to do an
important presentation for his company the next day; but had delayed
preparing and finishing up his presentation early until the day
before the actual presentation.
Subsequently, he didn't do well for his presentation, and was
criticized by his superior. He came back with a bad mood and when he
gave me a call; there was anger, disappointment and frustration in
his voice. He was shouting and wailing at the same time. We ended up
having a heated argument over the phone. I felt that he deserved
what he had gone through, since he was not capable of organizing
himself and his schedule to finish up his report and presentation
early. He was so mad at me that he didn't talk to me for over a
I was upset over this incident. It was not my intention to damage
our relationship over such a small matter. It was then I realized I
had violated one of the most important basic needs of any humans.
Most, if not all, people need to be right. I had made him wrong for
being so incapable by scolding him.
Over the past weekend, he called me again. It happened that he had
some conflicts with one of his co-worker, who had been giving him
some problems during work. As usual, he began to vent his
frustrations over the phone. Having realized the mistake I had made
previously, this time, instead of emphasizing how his
hot-temperedness and impatience must have provoked his co-worker, I
stressed how sorry I was to hear about his bad day at work. There
was an immediate change in his attitude; and he became a lot calmer
during our short conversation.
I let him be right, which was what he wanted. He let me have a
peaceful time with him, which is what I had wanted.
Your tip for the day: People need to be right.
Article by Cucan Pemo ( Author of 'Retrieve A Lover' )
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This work is copyrighted by the author. No unauthorized duplication or presentation allowed. Copyright © 2006 Cucan Pemo, All Rights Reserved Reprinted With Permission
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