Playing it cool
There has been a lot of work to do around here lately, so last night it was time to relax a bit.
Emily and I decided to rent a movie. The mood struck me for some reason to go old-school and I suggested "Roman Holiday", which seemed a solid choice because 1) We'd been to Rome on our honeymoon last month, 2) Audrey Hepburn looks more like Emily's sister than Emily's sister does (which isn't a bad thing) and 3) unthinkably, neither one of us had never seen this movie before (a first).
So "Roman Holiday" it was. Now I famously can't sit through "chick flicks", even though my own personal "swipe file" of solid dating strategy gleaned from movies is considerable. My silver bullet there, you see, is to watch OLD MOVIES. A major difference between modern "romantic comedies" and the old-school movies is that REAL MEN are portrayed. And these REAL MEN are typically attracting REAL WOMEN. All the low-end prurient stuff is absent as is any hint of cultural "feminization", and for some reason this enhances the demonstration of pure ATTRACTION SKILLS at work. All of this, of course, is highly valuable study material when learning how to attract the highest level of woman imaginable. And best of all, nobody seems to be watching these movies nowadays so doing so is like gaining an unfair advantage.
Now I could go on about the several different ways in which this movie is a gold mine, and I plan on doing just that in the February Power Session. But today we're going to focus on one key, often underestimated and little-understood factor that leading man Gregory Peck is the MASTER of in this particular movie. His character delivers on this principle better perhaps than even Sean Connery's James Bond himself.
I call it "The Most Critical Thirty Minutes In Dating". Whether you are a man or a woman, what you do with these thirty minutes will make or break the future of your relationship with whomever you are relating to.
These thirty minutes begin ticking, of course, at the very moment one realizes that his or her date is sexually attracted. And the difference maker is how exactly one reacts to this development.
Women stereotypically have a firm grasp on this concept, as men are similarly stereotyped as telegraphing sexual attraction all too blatantly. Many women instinctively sense just how profound the power is that they hold in such a case, and use it effectively to quite literally cast a spell upon a man and put him under her full control.
Us guys, unfortunately, often have no idea how powerful it is not to be needy when it comes to sexual attention. And worse, once we sense that a woman is "feeling it", we proceed to blow all screaming potential to smithereens.
Simple. We put too much focus on sex as a "prize", and we forget about the woman. We talked all about that concept in the last article.
But not Gregory Peck's character in "Roman Holiday". When he encounters a presumably "drunk" Audrey Hepburn late at night on a park bench, he RELUCTANTLY ends up taking her back to his place. Whether Audrey is really so "disoriented" or not is left to the imagination, but she announces that she plans to undress and go to sleep whether Gregory Peck is standing there or not.
Now at this point, do I need to tell you how most sex-starved guys would act?
Meanwhile, Greg (not yet realizing that Audrey's character is really a princess from a foreign country) furrows his eyebrows at her brattiness and throws a pair of men's pajamas at her. He tells her that he's going to "get coffee" and will be back in five minutes… and that she'd better not even think about taking the bed.
Audrey is left thinking, "Who is this guy?" She's intrigued by his utter lack of sexual neediness. Here, obviously, is a man who is very picky about his women and all about making sexual decisions on his own terms.
In the morning, Audrey wakes up and Greg is the image of coolness. With her senses back in order, she soon discovers on her own that he had not "taken advantage" of her. She's intrigued.
In an ironic twist, Greg actually lets her leave his apartment…passing what Emily and I agree was a test by Audrey's character to see if he really was man enough to let her go.
Of course, in the midst of other plot complications incidental to the point at hand, he doesn't really let her get away. And as soon as he sees her again, it's very obvious that Audrey is digging him. Still, Greg plays it cool. His paws aren't all over her and he's probably still not even convinced for himself. He refuses to "chase" her.
Greg has succeeded wildly at the "Big Four". He is masculine, his intrigue interests her, he is CONFIDENT, and-importantly-he INSPIRES CONFIDENCE in her that she is safe in his presence.
So the thirty minutes begin ticking.
Make no mistake, he may have been able to steal a kiss and start having his fun with her right then and there. But watching the movie, you can't imagine Greg blowing his high-end persona and being such a shortsighted bonehead. Nope, this guy is for real.
And, sure enough…about a half an hour later he is rewarded by Audrey's show of affection toward him. And let's not overlook the fact that Audrey knew exactly what was going on there and responded with the awe-inspiring manner of feminine charm and class which defined her entire acting career.
By the time night falls upon 1953 Rome, having spent the day with Audrey-and having withstood the tests posed by the interest of other men-he reaps the benefits of being a man who deserves. A princess has fallen in love with him.
Now listen, I fully get that if two people realize that sexual chemistry is "on" there's no logical reason to wait around. But the sheer confidence and prowess associated with escalating sexual tension is what separates the needy and the sex-focused also-rans from the true champions at enjoying a passion-filled life. The patience of a man who knows the raw power of sexual tension contributes to his ability to deserve a princess. And he tends to settle for nothing less, does he not?
Yeah, but we're discussing a fifty-four year old work of fiction here. Or are we?
Scot McKay's dating strategies for those who refuse to settle for anything less than the ULTIMATE relationship are found here Stop by right now and grab a FREE e-book ($20 value) when you sign up for the X & Y Communications Newsletter, which is always packed with unique and practical dating tips.
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Scot McKay is the founder of X & Y Communications, a one-stop-shop for dating resources. He is the author of the book 'Deserve What You Want', and hosts the popular podcast series 'X & Y On The Fly' with his fiancée Emily. Sign up for the unique and entertaining newsletter here and receive a FREE GIFT.