Most of us belong to a
large circle of friends that we have known for years. Few of us have
more than two circles of friends. You know what I am talking about.
These are the girl and guy friends that you hang out every weekend
with. You know everything that is going on in each other’s life, you
are there for each other and it seems like you will always be
together. We are the generation that made St. Elmo’s Fire a cult
classic.
But why do we limit
ourselves to dating within our own circle of friends? Once you have
been in that same circle of friends for a number of years the act of
dating within your group can actually elevate itself to the “creepy”
stage and begin to resemble incest instead of dating. A have a number
of girlfriends that seem to continuously date every single guy in our
group, jumping from one to the other as if it were a taste test. This
behavior is not limited to the females only; my male friends enjoy the
same sort of lifestyle. Myself and few others excluded, I think every
one of my friends have hooked up with each other at some point in
time. For example, I have a girlfriend who is sexually active with
three different guy friends. She really likes one of them but he is
just interested in the sex. Unbeknownst to her, he is really into
another girlfriend who is the her best friend and neither one of them
know about it. Meanwhile the girl he really digs is into and involved
with another guy friend who is his good friend. And it goes on and on
from there. Although we are all good friends, it has become a complex
tangle of sexual and emotional deceit.
Casual sex can be such
a pleasure. It is fabulous to have someone you can call at 2am or even
on your lunch hour when you need immediate gratification. But if we
are single, why do we continue to find our booty calls within our own
troupe? I think the answer has to do with a certain comfort level we
experience when we know the person for years on end.
Instead of looking to
your best friend’s ex as your next lustful victim, try moving outside
of the reassuring boundaries that your circle of friends creates. For
one thing, dating every one else’s ex lovers can create a nasty
situation in the future. We have all seen it happen. It can cause
isolation, rifts between friendships and some nasty name calling to
say the least. People need to look for new dating partners elsewhere.
Try new venues, grand openings, meeting people at the gym or at that
trendy new restaurant. We meet new people every day yet sometimes we
fear those we don’t know. There is no reason to.
Dating outside the
group will also help to keep your close knit friends even closer
because you will completely avoid what could turn out to be a jealous
rivalry between good friends. There are four million people in the
city of Houston alone and even if you don’t live in a big city such as
Houston, there are bound to be thousands of available singles right
where you are. These statistics hardly compare to the number of your
usual cohorts….you should be able to find compatible and yummy new
companions in the dating sea of singles and singlets. Stop using your
own fish bowl for fishing purposes.
Now, the Diva is not
saying that you should go ahead and have crazy head banging sex with
every new person you meet, although that would keep the condom supply
and manufacturing economy sizzling. I am just saying that we need to
get out more. There is so much diversity and wonderful new people to
experience everyday in the big city so why not take full advantage of
it? Get out there and create new social groups, meet more people and
dare the world to stop you.
Today's Question
