Shyness in some people
can be very desirable and appealing But not if their shyness is holding them
back from being all that they might be, and do. As I see it, there are
“Mirror” people and “Window” people.
“Mirror” people tend to be vain, shy, unhappy, introspective, misunderstood,
fearful and very lonely, have few friends and are predominately negative in
attitude.
“Window” people tend to be bold, curious, questioning, friendly, outgoing,
vivacious, extrovert. They have a predominately positive attitude and feel
very comfortable, not only with themselves, but also with the opposite sex.
If you happen to be an excessively shy “Mirror” person, you need to consider
whether you should think and talk less in terms of ‘I,’ ‘my,’ and ‘me’ and
more in terms of ‘you’ and ‘your.’
People are not staring at YOU!
You are not the center of attention. The person who is dressed well, walks
“tall,“ has assumed an authoritative air, makes eye-contact instead of
avoiding it, and wears a big smile, is attracting all the Attention!
Here are some quick-tips on how to boost your self-confidence:
Think back to your childhood and try to determine who or what happened that
made you feel inferior or inadequate?
As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inadequate without
your full permission.”
When you were a child--you thought as a child. That was then. Yesterday ended
last night. Today is a brand new day. You can begin again today. You can be
anything you want to be.
If all you see are limitations, maybe you put them there!
Begin by pretending you are no longer shy. Then act as if you are no longer
shy. That is one is the surest and most effective ways to overcome shyness.
|
© Copyright 2004. John
J.O’Callaghan. “Quick-Fix Solutions to Minor Imperfections” extracted
John's book, “Singles Looking
for Love.” Get more info by sending a blank email, subject SINGLES.
mailto : johnoc29 @ aol.com
|
Use your creative imagination. There is a big convention going on.
Hundreds of people are in attendance. You are the keynote speaker.
You come on stage. Everybody claps and cheers. You hold up your hand,
palm showing, and everyone becomes quite. You say what you have to
say. You make a point. You illustrate that point. Everybody cheers and
claps. You get a standing ovation. You are a great success.
You are on a date. When someone asks you how you are, and you tell
them, you realize that is a definition of a very boring person. You
determine never to be boring again.
Demonstrate empathy by encouraging your date to talk about himself or
herself--while you listen attentively. From time to time you say
things like, “That’s interesting,” and, “I understand. I think I know
how you must have felt at the time.”
Be generous with your praise where praise is due.
Do something nice for somebody without expecting a reward. It will
make you feel good. Be nice to yourself. You deserve it. So reward
yourself from time to time. Treat yourself to a new outfit or
whatever. Do anything that is likely improve your self-image and make
you feel good about yourself.
Love yourself more. You will not be able to truly love another--until
you love yourself first. Talk to yourself. Tell yourself you are a
good person and that you deserve to have good things happen to you.
Count your blessings instead of your failures. Make a list. Write down
all the good things about you--and give thanks to God for all that you
have. Irish people in general tend to look on the bright side.
For instance, in an attempt to console someone who had just fallen off
a ladder and broken a leg, they might say, “Aren't you lucky! Sure you
could have broken your neck as well.”
Right now, I want to tell you a story that might help you count your
blessings:
The View From the Bed Nearest the Window
Two men shared a room in a hospital. One bed was by the window. The
other was by the door. Every morning the man by the door would say to
the man by the window. “What's the weather like outside today?”
And the man would tell him about the park, and the park bench, and the
lake and the footpath and the flowers, and about the different people
who were constantly passing by.
He would tell him about the regulars, like the old man who came there
every day with his young grandson. About the woman with the baby in
the pram. About the nice looking young woman who sat alone on the park
bench every day.
He would tell about the man with the dog who sat down beside the nice
young woman. How she patted the dog and how he shared his sandwiches
with her. How they seemed to be getting friendlier and friendlier with
each passing day.
And when the man by the widow died the man by the door asked if he
could be moved to the bed by the window. But when he looked out--all
he could see was the solid brick wall of the next building!
“He was totally blind. He knew he was dying of cancer” the nurse
explained. “He knew how depressed you were over losing an eye and
getting your neck broken in the car accident. He just wanted to cheer
you up--knowing how it would help you make a speedier recovery.”
And one more little story:
The Cracked Pot
There was a rich farmer in India who every day sent his servant Ali to
the well to bring back two terra cotta pots filled with water.
One day Ali clumsily dropped one of the pots. However, it did not
break but it leaked a little. Consequently, each time he got back from
the well, the cracked pot was never more than half full.
Ali was too afraid to tell his master. But after a year had gone by,
he felt so guilty that, even at the risk of being fired, he confessed
that he had cracked the pot.
“Ali,” his master said, “I knew the pot was cracked, but I chose to
say nothing because I just love flowers. You see the drops of water
that leaked out encouraged wild flowers to bloom and grow all along
one side of the pathway from the well.”
In a way, we are all a bit like cracked pots. It is our imperfections
that make each and every one of us unique. It may even be very
difficult for us to love a person who is, or thinks they are,
absolutely 100% perfect in every way.
Consequently, the more mature we are, the more we are drawn toward
someone, who like ourselves, also has a few minor cracks and
imperfections.
So, be sure to love yourself--cracks and all! You are loveable!
© Copyright 2004. John
J.O’Callaghan. “Quick-Fix Solutions to Minor Imperfections” extracted
John's book, “Singles Looking
for Love.” Get more info by sending a blank email, subject SINGLES.
mailto : johnoc29 @ aol.com
This work is copyrighted by the author. No
unauthorized duplication or presentation allowed. All Rights Reserved Reprinted With Permission
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