It’s no surprise that they guys that get the women
are also the guys that intimidate other men.
Having the skill set of introducing
yourself to women you don’t know, with confidence, is something that
is learned by men, individually, over time. And it’s also the main
ingredient of success with women.
The recipe of success with women
You can divide the success with women recipe, so to speak, as a list
of individual ingredients that are skills that guys need to learn to
use effectively:
- Introduction (opening) techniques
- Conversational techniques
- Information trade (getting email addresses, phone numbers)
- Follow-up (closing) skills
The simple steps of any guy’s interaction with women are:
Introduction (opening) techniques – the ability to walk up to
any woman, anywhere and introduce yourself in such a way that “get
lost!” is not in the woman’s vocabulary.
Conversational (framing) techniques – the ability to start
small talk and interest in the woman you want to talk with. Being
able to start any conversation (the talk after the introduction)
that the woman will not only understand but will appreciate being
involved in. Also involves reading her basic body language to see if
she’s tensing up (rejecting) or starting to accept (relax and
submit) to your advance.
Information trade (getting email addresses, phone numbers) –
the ability to move from the conversation to getting her email
address and/or phone number so you can contact her later. You want
to make a woman you just met comfortable enough, and attracted
enough, to give you her personal information without hesitation.
Follow-up (closing) skills – the ability to know when to end
the conversation, in effect walk away from her in such a way that
she will be waiting in anticipation for your email or your phone to
her call the next day.
In essence when can you confidently walk up to an attractive woman
and say “Hi, I saw you looking my way and guessed that if I didn’t
tell you to stop soon I’d have to call a cop and report you for
stalking” you’ve got what it takes to make interest and attraction
happen.
Can you
move from that initial cocky opening line (or some other opening
line) to being able to continue the conversation in such a way that
the woman is neither offended or creeped out? You can as long as you
can read her reactions to know if your next step is to say “Hey,
you’re not her, my stalker has brown (a different color) hair” or
just turning tail and walking away.
Of course, the real
answer is any next sentence that you say to her that allows you to
move past your introduction to having her answer you in a positive
way. The next couple of words out of your mouth need to be framed in
such a way that she relaxes in body language movements allowing you
to continue. Relaxing body language movements include her
straightening her blouse sleeves or pants/skirt, adjusting or
primping her hair around her face, a slight touch to your sleeve or
hand as well as sitting up straight and pulling her shoulders back
and chest forward.
After continuing the conversation for a
few minutes (don’t overstay your introduction and framing
conversation) you need to move to the information trade and get her
phone number. A simple “It’s nice to meet you, I have to get back to
my friends/table/get my drink/meal (whatever), can I have your phone
number and we can continue this conversation again?” will allow you
to complete your frame and include your close to getting her number.
Keep in mind, you’re after dates here, not a score. Getting women’s
email address and phone numbers, and sparking their initial interest
in you, is your goal.
So-called ‘alpha males’, the leaders of the pack, usually have an
innate ability to use these ingredients to their advantage without
any extra learning materials being needed. Then there is the rest of
us.
I’ve found very helpful online resources for the guys like us, so be
sure to visit them. Many free newsletters and additional articles
are available at each website. You may not become the “leader of the pack” but
your success in being able to approach women, to be able to start
conversations, get phone numbers and close the conversation with her
having a high interest level in you will skyrocket.
Copyright © 2006 aLoveLinksPlus.com and
Robert Lee All Rights Reserved. Reprint rights restricted.
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