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The Man Rules

 

At last a guy has taken the time to write all this down, finally, the guy's side of the story. (I must admit it's pretty good)

We always hear "The Rules" from the female side, now here are "The Rules" from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note: They are all numbered "1" on purpose!

1. Men are not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down!

1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides, let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Obvious hints don't work. Just say it!

1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it to be done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it then do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, say what you have to say during commercials (In the case of Tivo, say it while we're fast forwarding through the commercials).

1. Christopher did not need directions and neither do we.

1. All men see only in 16 colors, like a computer's default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches it will be scratched, we do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "Nothing" we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying but it's just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question that you don't want an answer to, expect an answer that you don' want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss sports.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. "Round" is a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind the couch, it's like camping.

Pass this along to as many men as you can. We need to get the news out.

Pass this along to as many women as you like, they need a good laugh.

 

(c) 2007 Robert Lee and cheerful attitude web design ltd. All Rights Reserved. By accepting and reading this article you agree that: You understand this to be an opinion and not professional advice, it is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes, you are solely responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content

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