What To Do On The Second Date

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Question:

Hey Rob, I hope you can help me. I had a good, not great, first date with Sandi. As you suggested, I met her for coffee and we hung out together. This went quite well, we even went window shopping (I told her I needed a gift for my Mom). When the date was over I told her I'd call her so now I need a great second date idea. Where do you suggest I should take her on our second date?

Thanks, Mark.

Rob's Answer:

Hi Mark,
It sounds to me that your fist date went very well. Not many guys can maneuver from the coffee date to the window shopping date all in the same day. You did well.

Your second date will lay the groundwork for the third and fourth dates. From the fifth date anything goes, but the planning and execution very is important for the second date. A lot of the times I suggest the second date to be the window shopping time spent together, but you've done that already. Really, anything that you can do together, that keeps the conversation going, is what you want to do. Avoid going to the movies or anywhere that 'quiet' is enforced. You don't want to be quiet yet, you want to learn more about her and let her understand you better, to see how the relationship can progress. You need to do fun things where you can chat, joke around and talk a lot, without interruption. Here are my suggestions:

Minigolf - Sadly under-rated as a early relationship builder activity, and as a bonus, allows for some physical contact as you help her with her swing
Bowling - see above and no drinking alcohol allowed, got it?
Darts - see above with a caveat: no drinking! If you go to a pub to play darts, keep the alcohol to a minimum. And keep away from your friends in the pub. Didn't you see "Shawn of the Dead"?
A visit to the zoo can be very nice but only if the travel time is under 15 minutes. Same thing with an art gallery or museum trip
There are more things you can do, do you see the pattern here?

The second date suggestions above can work for the third, fourth and later dates as well. I really like these date ideas because they are great for playing and sharing. Any of these activities allow for conversation, snacks and no set times, so if things suddenly don't work out you can end the date easily enough. Regroup. And try again later.

What I'm about to say is important so keep this in mind: this is the second date. You should know from the first date what she'd like to do. Something you have in common, put together a list of places you both would enjoy being, doing and sharing.

So, after your first date put together that list.

Then 3 or 5 days after your first date call her. With your plan for a second date. You might even want to keep it as a surprise. That's up to you.

Now then, get out there and have a life! And a great second date!

Side notes:

Is going to church together a date? No. But the time spent after worship is time together, without being a date. Interesting isn't it.

Generally, movies suck as dates - You can't talk, leaning in makes no sense... sharing popcorn and soda's might be cute but wears thin quickly. And you're in the dark without doing anything.

Birthday parties of friends are usually OK. As long as it's not the birthday party of a friend of the opposite sex. Or anything that starts with "ex-".

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